Review cover Nine Parchments (Nintendo Switch)
Official GBAtemp Review

Product Information:

  • Release Date (NA): December 5, 2017
  • Release Date (EU): December 5, 2017
  • Publisher: Frozenbyte
  • Developer: Frozenbyte
  • Genres: Dual-Stick Shooter, RPG
  • Also For: Computer, PlayStation 4, Xbox One

Game Features:

Single player
Local Multiplayer
Online Multiplayer
Co-operative
The creators of Trine try their hand at a Gauntlet style Dual-Stick RPG that's heavy on frustration and light on content.

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Going It Alone

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Let me set the record straight from the start-- this is NOT a good game to play single player, mainly because there are front-shielded enemies that are an absolute chore to defeat without the help of another player to distract them so you can get at them from behind. To make matters worse, these same monsters appear in every single level of the game with zero variation, so get used to groaning out loud whenever they spawn in a pack of enemies.

Having said that, it is imperative that you play this game on single player mode first, before going online. Why? Because friendly-fire cannot be disabled. You can get a good handle on switching between spells and deploying them effectively, and learn the very small roster of enemies and develop simple strategies for dealing with them before slinging spells around haphazardly at your friends in Co-op.

Running through the first few stages, you'll feel an instant love for this game that is well founded. Beautiful scenery, a fantastic musical score, and a quirky narrator had me on board and ready for an enjoyable grind session. When the shielding monsters eventually appeared, I was impressed at how they can redirect spells and thought it a very clever interaction. When they kept appearing, my enjoyment level fell exponentially. Before I had gotten to the second boss, it was very clear that this was never meant to be a single player adventure, but now that I had a good grasp of the controls, a few skill points under my belt, and a good understanding of how to cancel enemy elemental shields, I felt I was ready for the big leagues-- boy was I wrong!

There are a good number of unlockable characters, each with their own set of starting spells and talent trees, with additional talent trees that you can unlock by performing different feats of strength during gameplay, such as keeping enemies stunned for a certain period of time or by letting the monsters all kill one another without you doing anything to damage them. There are color variations of each character that come with their talent tree unlocks and cosmetic hats you can find in predictably placed treasure chests throughout the game. Any weapon you find has it's own unique set of stats or mechanics that are tailored to just about every style of gameplay you can imagine. Do you want additional healing energy or faster spell regeneration? How about extra critical strike chance and life-steal? There is a weapon for everybody and neither is more powerful than the other-- just different.

The level and item system is deployed fantastically, can be accessed at any time during play (except while in combat), and has lots of cool ways to synergize spells and multiple talents together-- the only problem is, it doesn't seem to impact the game at all. A max level character with a full tree and a half of skills performs almost identically to someone that is only at level 1, and any noticeable change can be compensated with skillful play. You can alter your talent choices (re-spec/specialize) any time you visit the first level of the game if you want to try a different style of play for your favorite character, but no matter how impossibly strong the numbers appear to make you in the menus, your character will always seem weak and require effort to kill the enemies any faster than another player at a lower level.

The difficulty curve will hit you like a ton of bricks in single-player. I decided to try Hardcore mode (Game Over on death) to get a feel for it before trying online. Take a look at the fourth screenshot (third thumbnail). That pack of enemies is resistant to every single type of magic I had because they are all crammed into that one area, with no option to spread them out by kiting them backwards (the game makes sure you can go backwards by destroying bridges or passageways as you go through them). They were all sharing their resistance auras and, on top of that, they were immobile enemy types shooting freezing bombs and stunning electrical waves, which meant that even though I could have hit them with the incredibly weak melee attack (which is unblockable), when I got near them I would get stunned or frozen and then stomped into the dirt. There doesn't seem to be any safeguards in the randomized spawning algorithm on Hardcore mode to prevent situations like this from happening. Spoiler: I died.

 

The Missing Link

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The first thing I noticed when joining the multiplayer lobby was that you can only have one set of level progressions on your Switch profile. If you switch from Single to Multi-player, it resets and you must start the game fresh or join a game already in progress at their latest checkpoint.

The second thing I noticed was that it is nearly impossible to join a game from the game selection menu. Real numbers here: I would need to try to join at least 8 games before I could eventually join on the 9th. If you think that sounds bad, let me lay this nugget on you: if you try to join a game, you must wait the entire time-out duration before doing anything else with the game. That's a full 3-5 minutes or twiddling your thumbs, waiting for the game to time itself out and reload you into the main menu without an error or explanation. If you cancel joining and try to start a new game (either single player or by hosting yourself), it will boot you back to the main menu after the timer expires, so you have to start the process over again. Be prepared to spend 20-25 minutes getting into a game and pray to the gods you don't game over the poor souls already in the match just by joining it if you like to play on Hardcore mode (more on that later).

Now we get to the real problem with the game-- other people. They can, and will, at any point do any of the following things:

  • Unload a full mana bar of fireballs into you and kill you instantly
  • Panic switch spells and hit the entire enemy group with a full-heal spell
  • Continue to rebound their spells off of shielder enemies into you after seeing IT CLEARLY ISN'T WORKING
  • Fire a huge wave of lightning across the screen, stunning you right in the path of the rampaging enemies
  • Use a screen encompassing spell and kill your entire team

Joining a game with an incompetent healer will set your team back just as much as someone that is only rolling with Area-of-Effect spells. Speaking of spells, more than 80% of them seemed to have been designed by monkeys. Imagine a healing beam that bounces between all injured targets-- sounds good, right? Small catch, once your hit your buddy with it, healing him up to full, it will bounce uncontrollably between all the enemies in its heat-seeking fashion and heal them up as well. How about a shadowy flower of death that erupts and sends out a poisonous shockwave? Sounds cool! Except none of your teammates remember that there is a jump button and you've now poisoned everyone on your team and doomed them to an early grave.

To anyone reading this who has or will play the game multiplayer-- Dear, sweet, baby Jesus, JUST MELEE THE SHIELD ENEMIES! Stop trying to hit them with spells, you are going to reflect them into your teammates EVERY TIME.

Spell-Checking

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There are a TON of game-ending glitches for anyone that likes to play on the Hardcore mode, which completely ends your game and deletes your stage progress if all team members die.

My most annoying was the one shown above. Our team was cruising through the game at a good clip, with a level of skill, teamwork, and comradery the likes of which I had never seen before, and we all loaded into this "boss" arena. At the start, you are on an elevator platform that goes down to the floor of the arena. As we traveled down, the camera stayed fixed to the starting position, and since you die if you are off screen for more than 5 seconds, we all died at once with no way to resurrect each other, promptly giving us a game over and throwing us all to the main menu where we were forced apart, never to see each other again.

Another huge problem with hardcore is that when a new player joins your game via drop-in, they become the cameras main focus and will drag the view all the way back to the previously crossed checkpoint, killing everybody in the process in places where checkpoints are far apart because the camera pans slowly and both the new player and existing party will be off screen for more than 5 seconds. Game over, man-- game over!

I really can't help but be torn about the state of this game. I really want to like it, but it feels like it was rushed to production after they had a really solid base engine and environment design completed. The total lack of variety in enemies spanned out over so many stages and the tedium in defeating some of them really get on my nerves. There is still hope for this title in the future if the developers are willing to go back and make some changes to the mechanics and fix a lot of the bugs plaguing the game, but until then, I'm forced to give the game a very mediocre score.

Side Note: If you want to play this game un-docked with friends, bring a magnifying glass and be familiar with the game first.

Trailer

 

Verdict

What We Liked ...
  • Fantastic Visuals
  • Bosses Have Fun Mechanics
  • Wonderful Music Score
What We Didn't Like ...
  • Poor Single Player Experience
  • Online Connectivity Issues
  • No Full Friendly-Fire/Enemy-Assist Toggle
  • Skill Trees Lack Impact
  • Majority of Spells Are Useless in Co-op
  • Small Enemy Pool
  • Lots of Game Breaking Glitches
5.5
out of 10

Overall

A near miss for "instant classic" that could have been so much more, and possibly could still be someday, with some quality of life updates from the developers.
Did they ever finish Trine 3? I distinctly recall feeling, more than any other game I can remember, that the game was incomplete. It ended on such a lukewarm note, like if you beat the midboss of a game and the credits rolled.
 
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thanks for the review, i enjoyed the demo, and was going to buy this of e store today, i think i will leave this for now, just got blast master ,steamworld dig 2 and rocket league should keep me entertained for a while, if i can tear myself away from stardew valley
 
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I want to offer a different perspective. A very positive one.

I have been playing this in local multiplayer with a friend who I am on a good wavelength with, and I have run into almost no issues. In fact, we've become especially good at working together and the game has been extremely exciting and fun. We love mixing our beam attacks, we love making use of the super deadly AOE attacks and managing to not murder each other. We love the creativity of the various boss fights and the variety in the character talent trees. The game feels SO damned satisfying to kick ass with.

I haven't played online so I wouldn't notice any of the design issues, but at the same time that's also issues that CAN BE FIXED and likely will be. They already have save slots incoming, and will continue to work on other issues to make multiplayer a more satisfying experience. Yes, this game is not pleasant to play with noobs. Overall, though, even with less skilled players you can adapt and survive and that in itself is something that makes the game entertaining. Team attack REALLY makes this game into something exiting and challenging.

I am a fan of Gauntlet Legends and other such games, and this is definitely a game that's in that vein. There's very few puzzle moments, though those that exist are generally quite fun, and I have only encountered bugs once or twice. When I did a three player session, display text worked only about 5-10% of the time. Not game breaking but a little strange and annoying. Likewise, occasionally on ending the level, my main friend was unable to bypass the level end screen and we had to return to menu and make our way through the last checkpoint again.

Design wise, aside from some UI moments such as a lack of transparency in the skill tree screen (it can get a bit hard to navigate it), the lack of stats on hats, the lack of save files... I actually agree with most of the overall design decisions that this game does. I can imagine that single player isn't going to be nearly as satisfying as playing through this game with a trusted friend, and there's apparently some nasty design issues with the online multiplayer that need worked through, but in this day and age, early horrible reviews can totally murder a uniquely enjoyable experience like this, so I encourage people to be patient with this game and to remember to look at the core gameplay.

I recommend the game to anyone who is a fan of Gauntlet type games, the intermingling process of spellcasting/elements, or fans of hectic twin-stick shooter type games. I am a fan of all three and I am really enjoying this game. Hopefully they will fix the few design flaws with this game (that aren't even relevant to the game's core gameplay) and the game can truly shine.
 
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BTW, I disagree with the lack of enemy variety, as there are a LOT of different enemy types that then are further altered by immunity auras and AOE auras. These things dynamically change the strategies you'll have to use in combat, while still remaining solid. Geometry Wars doesn't have as many base enemy types as this game does, and people don't give it crap for that, y'know? I think being able to instantly recognize the state of the battlefield, which enemies are the threats, etc, is extremely important in accomplishing the higher difficulties successfully.

Likewise, the skill trees may have a few duds but what game doesn't have that problem? It could be nice to see them refined a bit more, but overall I actually like what is held in the three different trees. I'm actually frequently playing support and defense while my friend goes glass cannon, and there's plenty of options for such builds in those skill trees. I can focus on backup and debuff and recovery while he plays it slightly reckless. Many times, the battle has come down to me dancing around the swarm to resurrect him.

As far as there being bad spells, yeah, some of them suck. So? The game was just launched. Some of the spells are indeed there as a creative experiment like the death flower spell. Yeah, that one sucks. Minor damage and everyone has to pay attention and jump. But then you have the AOE Bullet spells which can absolutely rip apart a pack of enemies. It CAN kill your friends, very easily in fact, but if you recognize when it's a good time to use those skills, they become an extremely useful asset. And don't forget that death enemies can be hurt by healing spells. A spell like chain heal may not be the best healing spell, but it will absolutely and massively rip apart a pack of purple enemies. Shield enemies and rock monsters need taken out from behind or with overhead spells. Several enemy types need you to jump to dodge their attacks. The game has some masterful core mechanics, plain and simple. Unfortunately, the state of online multiplayer, where most people will attempt to spend the most time, is souring people on what should be an amazing experience.

BTW, even though single player isn't as fun as when my friend's here, it isn't unplayable as the enemies are much weaker and overall fewer in number. That said, it's also a great way to practice different strategies and work on controlling your spells without blowing yourself up.

So in response to your negatives:
Somewhat disagree.
Reluctantly agree.
Strongly disagree.
Disagree.
Moderately disagree.
Heavily disagree.
Your mileage may vary; try local-coop before judging. Glitches do exist though and it's unfortunate, but it's fixable and the company has said they are WORKING on such things.
 
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BTW, I disagree with the lack of enemy variety, as there are a LOT of different enemy types that then are further altered by immunity auras and AOE auras.

I quickly scrolled through the enemy list in game and there are less than 20 different enemy types, half of which are only different models as the AI acts the exact same, they all just get recolored randomly into one of ~6-8 colors/elements with a chance of having an aura, that doesn't really count as a different enemy to me :P
 
I quickly scrolled through the enemy list in game and there are less than 20 different enemy types, half of which are only different models as the AI acts the exact same, they all just get recolored randomly into one of ~6-8 colors/elements with a chance of having an aura, that doesn't really count as a different enemy to me :P

And Geometry Wars 2 has 8. Perhaps 'a lot' is misleading, but I mean for this type of gameplay it has amble variety. Sorry, but it's important for strategy and polish to have a limited number of enemy types. You can complain about that, but that just shows a lack of understanding of this type of gameplay. I also feel that the various combinations that can come out are a huge contributor to small tweaks in strategy that you have to adjust for. Enemy prioritization, spell selection based on immunities, where to blink to, how to split up. And in harder difficulties, more enemies will spawn midway through a wave instead of coming in individual waves. This creates reflexive complexity.

You mentioned how you died against the elemental stacking mixed with the lightning bullets. With just a single player, spell selection is certainly limited and makes situations like that difficult, but I can identify the core strategy / tricks for taking out that particular pack. First, blink or even double-blink behind them, because that section has more space. You already took out the ice barrels there so it's at least safe to do so. Next, when the lightning bullets lands, you jump into the center of that particular cast, then jump a second time to dodge the convergence. In the mean time, you work on circling around them or even blink through them until one of the three gets on the outside of an aura that you can actually conquer. Also, by then, hopefully you've gotten a healing skill; my favorite is the large healing zone spell, but I'm quickly coming to like the healing touch spell that spreads from touch. Great for taking out death enemies fairly safely while also healing yourself and allies without much thought.

In any case, you seem to have decided to only pick at some random part of my comments without really acknowledging good points or any possibly flaws in your own review. It bothers me to no end when a reviewer is so cemented in their views that they can't acknowledge a different perspective than their own. :( Oh well. These comments are at least here for anyone else reading this and feeling disappointment in the given score.
 
And Geometry Wars 2 has 8. Perhaps 'a lot' is misleading, but I mean for this type of gameplay it has amble variety. Sorry, but it's important for strategy and polish to have a limited number of enemy types. You can complain about that, but that just shows a lack of understanding of this type of gameplay. I also feel that the various combinations that can come out are a huge contributor to small tweaks in strategy that you have to adjust for. Enemy prioritization, spell selection based on immunities, where to blink to, how to split up. And in harder difficulties, more enemies will spawn midway through a wave instead of coming in individual waves. This creates reflexive complexity.

You mentioned how you died against the elemental stacking mixed with the lightning bullets. With just a single player, spell selection is certainly limited and makes situations like that difficult, but I can identify the core strategy / tricks for taking out that particular pack. First, blink or even double-blink behind them, because that section has more space. You already took out the ice barrels there so it's at least safe to do so. Next, when the lightning bullets lands, you jump into the center of that particular cast, then jump a second time to dodge the convergence. In the mean time, you work on circling around them or even blink through them until one of the three gets on the outside of an aura that you can actually conquer. Also, by then, hopefully you've gotten a healing skill; my favorite is the large healing zone spell, but I'm quickly coming to like the healing touch spell that spreads from touch. Great for taking out death enemies fairly safely while also healing yourself and allies without much thought.

In any case, you seem to have decided to only pick at some random part of my comments without really acknowledging good points or any possibly flaws in your own review. It bothers me to no end when a reviewer is so cemented in their views that they can't acknowledge a different perspective than their own. :( Oh well. These comments are at least here for anyone else reading this and feeling disappointment in the given score.

In Gauntlet, every stage area had unique enemies, not recolors. Same with Diablo, same with Torchlight. I believe I have complete understanding for this type of gameplay. When more than half the enemies either walk towards you or stand still and cast the same spells, they are little more than different models with the same AI attached, that doesn't make for anything but visual variety and it just feels rushed or lazy at best . At least the 8 (?) enemies in Geometry Wars actually do something entirely different from one another, that is why the game is so good without a large enemy pool.

Also, you want me to argue or praise your opinions? They are opinions, and you are entitled to them, I have no right to judge them. That being said, couch co-op may be different if you have a Switch, spent $40+ on full controllers for your friends, and have skilled friends that wont try to treat this game like a hack-and-slash, then sure you could probably have a better time; but the fact is, the multiplayer that almost everyone will use is trash at the moment, and since there is absolutely no way to communicate in game, it's a real problem since going solo on Hardcore isn't feasible with all the bugs currently in the game. I didn't even cover blinking underneath terrain glitches. Oh P.S., those aura mobs were all immobile, they only stand still and shoot, I couldn't spread them apart.

TL;DR I really love this game but it was not ready for launch, it needed at least a few more months in the oven.
 
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I'm using the PC version and I haven't had the issues you're discussing there. I can't weigh in on that. I agree with your last part that many games these days could use longer to be polished, but I also feel that in this current climate, selectively choosing to focus on patchable bugs or online type issues in such reviews can really hurt a game's potential, especially when the core game is as good as it is.

As for enemies doing different things, going by memory mixed with bestiary:
Vile Beast - Normal type, melee focused, slow.
Hog - Charges player, leaves elemental lines behind.
Scalefiend - Breath attack, quicker and stronger than hogs, but less HP.
Raptor - Jump attacks, each element vastly different from the other.
Seer - Comes in beam and bolt varieties, low HP but high damage. "Elemental" variety fires random elements.
Shaman - Mini-boss class enemy, casts a different style of elemental spells but are probably the weakest of the mini-boss class enemies.
Forkbeetle - Exploding enemy that moves quickly, can drastically alter your combat choices.
Dart - Normal type gets up in your face with its melee attacks, elemental types are similar to the Seers but also have a lobbed area of effect attack. More difficult to hit overall, too.
Guardbeast - Shielded enemy, take them out from above or behind.
Brawny - Normal type melee enemy, a bit faster than Vile Beasts, and also sometimes a bit stupider as they fall off cliffs.
Berg - Mini-boss class enemy that throws out some big attacks in addition to the frontal attacks that Shamans use.
Giant Rat - (I actually don't even remember seeing this one, huh...)
Healer - Dirty bastards! :O
Manglefist - Mini-boss class enemy, guarded from the front and unleashes wave attacks.
Spitter - Stationary enemy that casts homing attacks.
Pinion - Flying enemy that dashes across the screen, similar to the Boars with less broad range but more overall damage.
Shiver - Each element is different, with chasing, stun bullets, AOE waves, and they let out an AOE burst on death.
Rimecleave - Mini-boss class enemy, instant-kill axe swing and forced close combat with ice walls
Shellbeast - Normal type meleeing enemy, not too different from Vile Beast and Brawny, admittedly.
Snake - Constricts the player and bites their face, blink to get out or shoot their face instead.
Silk Tree Sentry - Mini-boss class enemy, lots of HP and some decently nasty AOE spells.
Remnants - Construct version of stuff you've fought before, admittedly not too different.

18 different enemy types, excluding Brawny, Shellbeast, Remnants, and Giant Rat (?) but also not including the actual strategic variety between some of the different elemental varieties of certain enemies. And each of those main types IS quite different from the others. I feel that this game is probably closer to something like Geometry Wars than to a game like Gauntlet, but most people will take the Gauntlet path first and then end up feeling frustrated at the difficulty or team-attack or other such issues. This is NOT Diablo, and NOT Torchlight, or anything even close to that. This is an arcade game.

Likewise, your co-op is going to be severely limited in a public pool this early into a game's life because people are still learning the game. It's taken my friend and I around 15 hours to get to the point we're at where we can get away with fighting with the enemies in the game without fighting with each other in real life, yelling at each other for support or 'get out of the way' etc. That sort of thing comes from experience and muscle memory and stuff like that. Over time, people will understand their spell choices, their builds, etc. The one thing you're likely to lack is team synergy unless you are playing with friends you actually know, or spending a lot of time doing non-verbal communication in the academy stage for respeccing.
 
I played the demo with my brother a few weeks ago. He loved it but I wasn't a big fan. Shame the full game doesn't seem much better than what I had played.
 
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Yeah this hasn't been getting good reviews on Steam either. This dev just can't seem to find their way outside of the Trine formula since this is their second game that was rated poorly after that series.
 
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Review cover
Product Information:
  • Release Date (NA): December 5, 2017
  • Release Date (EU): December 5, 2017
  • Publisher: Frozenbyte
  • Developer: Frozenbyte
  • Genres: Dual-Stick Shooter, RPG
  • Also For: Computer, PlayStation 4, Xbox One
Game Features:
Single player
Local Multiplayer
Online Multiplayer
Co-operative

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Help Users
  • S @ salazarcosplay:
    @BigOnYa they ruined the gaming experience for me to be honest
  • S @ salazarcosplay:
    @BigOnYa Im not crazy about getting all of them, i feel like I have something to show for for the time put in
  • S @ salazarcosplay:
    @BigOnYa If you want to do rgh or 360 mod
  • S @ salazarcosplay:
    does it matter if you update your 360 or not before trying is it advisable or not
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Yea I don't pay attention to them really. Or do I try to 100% a game. I just play till story ends/ or I get the girl!
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    Bigonya uses his wiener to mod 360s
    +1
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    Going to the water park, see ya
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    You should update the 360 to newest dash before RGHing it yes. But not a big deal if you don't, you can install new dash/avatar updates after. It's just easier to do it auto online before, instead manual offline after.
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Have fun @Xdqwerty. If you see a chocolate candy bar floating in the water, don't eat it!
  • AncientBoi @ AncientBoi:
    :O:ohnoes: Y didn't U Tell ME that ALSO? @BigOnYa :ohnoes: 🤢🤮
    +1
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Does it taste like... chicken?
    +1
  • S @ salazarcosplay:
    @BigOnYa I wanted to ask you about your experience with seeing south park. Most of the people a bit younger like my younger brother and cousins that are a few younger than me that saw kids found south park funny because of the curse words, kids at school, that seemed like liking the show on a very basic level.

    I could not quite have a in depth discussion of the show.

    How was it for you? As an adult. What did you find the most interesting part about it. Did you relate to the parents of the kids and their situations. Was it satires, the commentary on society. The references on celebrities' and pop culture.
    +1
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    I remember seeing the very first episode back in the day, and have watched every episode since. I used to set my VCR to record them even, shows how long ago.
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    I just like any comedies really, and cartoons have always been a favorite of mine. Family guy, American Dad, Futurama, Cleveland Show, Simpsons - I like them all.
    +1
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    South Park is great cause they always touch on relavent issues going on today, and make something funny out of it.
    +3
  • S @ salazarcosplay:
    @BigOnYa were you always up to date on the current events and issues of the time or were there issues that you first found out thru south park
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Most of the time yea I knew, I watch and read the news regularly, but sometimes the Hollywood BS stuff, like concerning actors slip by me. I don't follow most Hollywood BS (example: the Kardasians)
    +2
  • S @ salazarcosplay:
    @BigOnYa there were relevant issues before south park was made, that's why i think a south park prequel/spinoff would be great. Randy and his friends in their child hood
    +1
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Yea, like them running in high school together, getting into stuff, and how they got hitched and had kids. And how the town of South Park was back then compared to now. That would be cool to see.
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    yeah
  • The Real Jdbye @ The Real Jdbye:
    @salazarcosplay if they made a prequel, it would still be about current issues, cause it doesn't make sense to make it about stuff that happened 30 years ago that nobody cares about anymore
  • The Real Jdbye @ The Real Jdbye:
    it's too late
  • The Real Jdbye @ The Real Jdbye:
    the older south park episodes about particular issues usually age poorly since the topic is no longer relevant
  • The Real Jdbye @ The Real Jdbye:
    an exception is giant douche vs turd sandwich, that's always relevant :P
    +1
    The Real Jdbye @ The Real Jdbye: an exception is giant douche vs turd sandwich, that's always relevant :P +1