smfh (husbands only edition)

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sno

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Gotta rant right now. My wife allergic to a lot of things. Caffeine is one of them. This morning I made her some decaf on a pour over. Gave her cup... with her pumpkin creamer... she sits and watches TV and I go off to make MY pour over. I pour her leftover coffee into a glass cup sitting idly by and begin making some caramel flavored coffee. I make my cup and start drinking it early in the morning. I left the remaining coffee in the pour over. Went to bestbuy to pick up something and when I get back to help make her lunch I mention she still has leftover coffee and then she goes "nO i dOnt, it's empty, see!" pointing at the pour over. Dread poured over my face.

"What....? No you got coffee right here, see this coca cola glass cup here filled to the brim?" Her face dropped and and I'm like I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU. "Well it did taste pretty good!" "CARAMEL AND PUMPKIN- HOW DID YOU MISS THAT?!! AHH!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU @!$@!ing reeee" -etc etc. MIND YOU I gOT LIKE 90% accuracy predicting her cycle and it's coming real soon. Mood swings x 200. This sucks. She's laughing and shrugging it off looking more retoorded than I usually do. I'm gonna be dealing with her itchy rashes and keeping me up at night and it's near the holiday. JUST GREAT. And to add salt to my wound she offers me some leftover coffee in her cup. I stare into it in silence. "REALLY THINK IM GONNA THAT DISGUSTING PUMPKIN?" It has caramel.. I MEAN.. You would think someone would notice caramel flavor being incorporated into their pumpkin spice coffee. She attributed the improved taste to her shaking the creamer container. I just can't..

I might sound whiny at the end here but she knows me. She knows I'm not gonna drink it. She just did it to have more of an intense laugh. Any of you have dum women? Am I crazy? I'm laughing at this too a little bit but it is gonna sort of suck. Got any recent f-ups that are worth mentioning? Care to share? How is your week gOing?
 
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HawaiianInTown

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SMFH = Shaking My F'ing Housewife... haha! Kidding, just trying to lighten your mood my guy. Though, give it a try it might make you feel better? Kidding again. 🤙🏽
 
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  • ZeroT21 @ ZeroT21:
    Guess all the food in my fridge can knock out a cow or two
  • ZeroT21 @ ZeroT21:
    I should visit Florida again, miss the alligator barbecues
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Me and wifey was deciding on our next vacation, so I hung up a map on the wall, and give her a dart and said, wherever you hit, we will go. She threw the dart and it missed the map completely and fell into a trash can below on floor. So I said "ok Florida it is."
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  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    @ZeroT21 ohhh a pot cake?
    +2
  • SylverReZ @ SylverReZ:
    Gimme some of dat
    +4
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    oh yeah i don't use weed,in my baking or in general
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    besides isn't it usually gummies or brownies?
  • AncientBoi @ AncientBoi:
    So, make a "New Trend"
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    i just said i don't use weed
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    You can add it in anything really, you can even make a butter/oil with it, then use that oil in anything
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    besides i'm literally a minor and neurodivergent, so telling me to make a cake with cannabis is traumatizing me, ur cancelled buddy /s/srs
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    (nah jk i'm just parodying those "i'm literally a minor and neurodivergent" mfs on twitter)
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  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Michigan has legal rec, so you only have few more years, is it 18 or 21 up there? 21 here in Ohio.
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    prob 21, idk tho
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  • ZeroT21 @ ZeroT21:
    Guess I'll go with plan B and make a Rum Vanilla flavored ice cream
    +1
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    That sounds damn good.
  • AncientBoi @ AncientBoi:
    Nah. Tequila maybe
  • AncientBoi @ AncientBoi:
    That, or Old No. 7
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    I'm ashamed to ask, but what is old no 7?
  • AncientBoi @ AncientBoi:
    Jack Daniels
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  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Oh yea, duh
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  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
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  • AncientBoi @ AncientBoi:
    lol, I finally got you to Enjoy a Coc Tail :tpi::rofl2::tpi:
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  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
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    Rum pecan ice cream is the bomb. Never had rum raisin, but bet be good. My homemade ice cream machine started rust inside so I pitched it, but gotta get a new one, miss making my own ice cream, esp with booze.
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