ok, so I have finally done it!
there is a tool called PS1VModeNeg. this is simply an elf that you launch, that will launch an NTSC game in 60hz. why didn't I find this sooner?:
https://github.com/ps2homebrew/PS1VModeNeg
download the american or japanese games, then patch all the bin files before you burn to CD-R with PSX/PS2 disc patcher 3.0. select individual .bins > PSX > Europe > patch
https://www.ps2-home.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=426
also, imo you really need the machine in mechapwn DEX mode too. then launch the console with FCMB, whilst holding R1 and launch the PS1VModeNeg elf
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-i'm going to edit this post and leave absolutely clear instructions to anyone with a PAL 5000x and above type of PS2, since I spent so much time on this:
-install FMCB v1.966 "multi install" on the PS2 memory card.
-install mechapwn "Retail-DEX" of the same region and version of your console. you should then be able to launch a burned CD-R of a PAL PSX game, even without the FMCB card in, directly from the OSD, but it will only run in 50hz PAL.
-patch .bin files of a USA/Jap PSX game to "europe", with PSX/PS2 Disc Patcher v3.0, before you burn it to CD-R with IMGburn. The game should then launch directly from the OSD, but it will run in 50hz PAL.
-launch PS1VModeNeg.elf, with ulaunchelf, to launch the game properly in 60hz NTSC. you can launch the elf before you've put the CD in, if you want (it will prompt you to put the disc in the drive.