"Friendship" Frustration. (It's so not magic)

So, let's just say that there's a female friend that I used to talk to. We had a lot in common. We both loved Doctor who, Video games, and cheesy cartoons like Adventure Time. We were friends, and we were fine with that. All the sudden she stops talking to me. Complete stonewall. Fuck. Well, that sucks.

A week later I find out that her dad died. And she still won't talk to me.


I want to help her, but she won't talk to me. This puts me in a very frustrating situation. She hasn't blocked me. I know she still gets my messages, but she won't ever reply. And I also know that it IS just me. And it's not just that I want to help her. I just wish I at the very least had some kind of closure. Like, if you don't want to be my friend anymore, just let me know. Tell me that you don't want to talk to me anymore. Tell me to fuck off. Tape a note written in your own blood to my front door telling me to eat shit and die. At least it would be something.

At this point I really don't have any choice than to walk away. I don't know why she stopped contacting me, and I most likely never will. I don't harbor any ill will towards her, and I wish her nothing but the best.

Comments

MegaBassBX
Some time it's more about a resolution,if my father dies most likely I will change my life and that starts with changing with my friends , this is actually wrong since from a psychological point of view she feels that she is changing by discarding others , and this will happen to any body who always hated their dads , in my life I have a good friend, but I left her because she reminded me of my old self which is carefree and ignorant so to change this I simply discarded her , and then I felt even more sad and that was only because I didn't make my dreams, so my advice try talking to her in person and see what happens.
 
chavosaur
As much as I hate to give you the,"Just give it time", Cliche'... Im going too.
Mostly because I speak from experience. When my father died, I shut down completely. I stopped talking to my family, my friends, I locked myself in my room, couldnt even play a game without wanting to hurl it across the room in anger.

I pushed everything that mattered to me away. It took time, healing, grief, and a hella lotta self pity before I could start coming to my senses. My friends kept messaging me, my family kept talking to me, and eventually, with time of course, they craked my depression shell and gave me a chance to accept. And Mourn. And move on.

All I can say, is keep messaging her. She may have shut you out, but she needs you now more then ever. Prove to her that you are there for her. Wait for her to finish grief, and eventually, she will come back around. As long as she knows your there, it will help her bounce back.
 
Hells Malice
Chavosaur said what I would have.
if she means something to you, keep trying. It's not like it's that hard to occasionally poke her and see if she'll respond. Try to prove you're there, and you care.
 
Sicklyboy
I would have said something much along the lines of what chavosaur did, except I do not have any personal experience in that situation, which he was able to provide some very deep insight for.

But a loss like that is going to come as a shock to most anyone. I would imagine it would throw your life for a complete 180. She's grieving, and she needs to. She also needs to know though that even if she's not talking to anyone, her friends are still there to support her in her time of need. Don't be overbearing but don't let her forget about you. At some point she will either open back up, or tell you that she wants to break it off/block you. It's not an easy thing for anyone though, and I can't even imagine the pain she must be feeling.

For your sake and for hers, just don't give up on her just yet.

My 2 cents.
 

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