Please if you suffer from anxiety and depression, i urge you to avoid reading the stuff below. Its just a window for me to vent my realities as someone who has been getting psychologically stressed at everything that has been going on.
If you had asked me what coronavirus would have looked like 3 months ago, I would have told you it would have been no big deal.
Yet here we are nearly at a month since my state went into lockdown and a few health scares of my own later, this mess rages on and while the news says the economy will open soon... even a month feels and looks like an eternity for a lot of us in the hospitals.
PPE is still in short supply and reserved for nurses and doctors, but hardly any available for people that do work equally important in these places, from people that deal with maintenance to medical equipment, food services (tho they are better off than most of us with ppe) and the IT guys that have to fix computers in patient rooms and throughout the hospital
yet service calls to Corona virus patient units come in day in and day out. keyboard that had fluids spilled on it, equipment that failed in a room with someone that has caught the disease its all par for the course and we have to find a solution and keep coming with creative solutions to provide either work arounds or fix the broken equipment in these places.
getting to your workplace and going through several checkpoints with temperature checks gets annoying after a while but you somehow learn to get used to it.
Yet after so many weeks of this days in and days out what really has messed with me is what is messing with everyone in health workplaces at this time.
"am i a silent spreader?"
"am i putting my family at home at risk?"
"should i have a contingency plan if i catch it and die?"
grappling with my own mortality at my workplace has to be a first. Never did i think that would happen but here we are.
The irony is that no matter where you fall in the political spectrum if you ask most frontline responders if they feel they have enough back up to battle this mess they will probably tell you no.
Staff is not getting tested by most facilities.
PPE is in short supply
and I am lucky enough to be in one of the states that has not been a warzone (hopefully it stays with a "low count")
I cant count the kids in their 20's out there that think that they should be going out for every little thing. (seriously, if you go out make sure you get your damn groceries and head back home and keep distance from one another)
I have seen kids in their 20's in top physical shapes getting their asses handed to them by this thing. its not a joke.
I am in my mid 30's with some underlying conditions that technically make me high risk, but my ass marches on every day to work.
I had to get tested late last month due to having symptoms that match the virus but tests turned out negative 10 days later (tests were hardly available at the time)one can wonder if it was an untimely flu or else.
I battle with setting a beneficiary with my life insurance in case something happens to me, just because i feel that the moment i do that, i will be setting myself up for misfortune to strike (i know its irrational but the mind works in funny ways)
on the plus side of things there has been one friend here at this site that has been an incredible source of comfort in the middle of all of this (you know who you are) Person has made me laugh in the middle of a dark period in my life. this person has been a pause button in the middle of so much sadness fear and uncertainty (i owe you a great deal for this)
Ironically video games and friendship has been one of the few things that has provided me comfort and respite from the onslaught of bad news.
This whole ramble has been messy and unfocused but i wanted to just let it out. it helps put order into what has been an otherwise chaotic mind last couple of weeks. As for you if you happen to read this, stay at home and be safe. being reckless can get you or a loved one killed even if you are young.
I dont care what country you think you live in.value your life and that of your loved ones, save a life. stay at home.
If you had asked me what coronavirus would have looked like 3 months ago, I would have told you it would have been no big deal.
Yet here we are nearly at a month since my state went into lockdown and a few health scares of my own later, this mess rages on and while the news says the economy will open soon... even a month feels and looks like an eternity for a lot of us in the hospitals.
PPE is still in short supply and reserved for nurses and doctors, but hardly any available for people that do work equally important in these places, from people that deal with maintenance to medical equipment, food services (tho they are better off than most of us with ppe) and the IT guys that have to fix computers in patient rooms and throughout the hospital
yet service calls to Corona virus patient units come in day in and day out. keyboard that had fluids spilled on it, equipment that failed in a room with someone that has caught the disease its all par for the course and we have to find a solution and keep coming with creative solutions to provide either work arounds or fix the broken equipment in these places.
getting to your workplace and going through several checkpoints with temperature checks gets annoying after a while but you somehow learn to get used to it.
Yet after so many weeks of this days in and days out what really has messed with me is what is messing with everyone in health workplaces at this time.
"am i a silent spreader?"
"am i putting my family at home at risk?"
"should i have a contingency plan if i catch it and die?"
grappling with my own mortality at my workplace has to be a first. Never did i think that would happen but here we are.
The irony is that no matter where you fall in the political spectrum if you ask most frontline responders if they feel they have enough back up to battle this mess they will probably tell you no.
Staff is not getting tested by most facilities.
PPE is in short supply
and I am lucky enough to be in one of the states that has not been a warzone (hopefully it stays with a "low count")
I cant count the kids in their 20's out there that think that they should be going out for every little thing. (seriously, if you go out make sure you get your damn groceries and head back home and keep distance from one another)
I have seen kids in their 20's in top physical shapes getting their asses handed to them by this thing. its not a joke.
I am in my mid 30's with some underlying conditions that technically make me high risk, but my ass marches on every day to work.
I had to get tested late last month due to having symptoms that match the virus but tests turned out negative 10 days later (tests were hardly available at the time)one can wonder if it was an untimely flu or else.
I battle with setting a beneficiary with my life insurance in case something happens to me, just because i feel that the moment i do that, i will be setting myself up for misfortune to strike (i know its irrational but the mind works in funny ways)
on the plus side of things there has been one friend here at this site that has been an incredible source of comfort in the middle of all of this (you know who you are) Person has made me laugh in the middle of a dark period in my life. this person has been a pause button in the middle of so much sadness fear and uncertainty (i owe you a great deal for this)
Ironically video games and friendship has been one of the few things that has provided me comfort and respite from the onslaught of bad news.
This whole ramble has been messy and unfocused but i wanted to just let it out. it helps put order into what has been an otherwise chaotic mind last couple of weeks. As for you if you happen to read this, stay at home and be safe. being reckless can get you or a loved one killed even if you are young.
I dont care what country you think you live in.value your life and that of your loved ones, save a life. stay at home.
