Yesterday one of my best friends and brother for over 20 years, Michael Parker, took his life. He was 33 years old.
He had texted me and our other brother, Jimmy, at 2 am Sunday morning and said "I love you guys you are my brothers and I'm glad we were best friends." I saw it at 6:30 am and it freaked me out cause of the past tense were. I got dressed and drove to his house, put his door code in and went inside. He was sleeping but very much okay. I thought I was overreacting and maybe he was just being drunk and sentimental. I let him sleep and went back home. I sent him messages and called him but he never responded. I was gonna go over there the next day(yesterday) to check on him, cause I was still worried. Before I had the chance, I got a text saying that he had killed himself sometime between late night Sunday/Monday morning.
I'm a mess. I haven't stopped crying since I found out and every time I close my eyes, I see him. I miss him so much and I wish I could have done more to help him. I wish I had woke him up and talked to him right then and there. I wish I hadn't shut myself away after I gave my daughter up for adoption and been a better friend. Now I have to live in a world without one of my brothers. We can't talk about or play videos games and Dragon Ball, can't talk about the super weeb and cringe harem anime he was into.
He was my best friend and I'd give anything to talk to him again. I'm grateful that as much of an ass he was when I needed something, he would always help me. I'm glad I have the memories of when him and Jimmy stayed the night for the first time back in 2000 and we played Mario Party 2 until the sun came up or when it was seniors last day, we walked out, went to my house and he stayed there for 3 weeks, playing games together and him leaving an imprint of himself on the couch cause he rarely moved. I'll always love him.
I'm sorry for the heavy shit, not what the temp is about, but I need to get this out.
He had texted me and our other brother, Jimmy, at 2 am Sunday morning and said "I love you guys you are my brothers and I'm glad we were best friends." I saw it at 6:30 am and it freaked me out cause of the past tense were. I got dressed and drove to his house, put his door code in and went inside. He was sleeping but very much okay. I thought I was overreacting and maybe he was just being drunk and sentimental. I let him sleep and went back home. I sent him messages and called him but he never responded. I was gonna go over there the next day(yesterday) to check on him, cause I was still worried. Before I had the chance, I got a text saying that he had killed himself sometime between late night Sunday/Monday morning.
I'm a mess. I haven't stopped crying since I found out and every time I close my eyes, I see him. I miss him so much and I wish I could have done more to help him. I wish I had woke him up and talked to him right then and there. I wish I hadn't shut myself away after I gave my daughter up for adoption and been a better friend. Now I have to live in a world without one of my brothers. We can't talk about or play videos games and Dragon Ball, can't talk about the super weeb and cringe harem anime he was into.
He was my best friend and I'd give anything to talk to him again. I'm grateful that as much of an ass he was when I needed something, he would always help me. I'm glad I have the memories of when him and Jimmy stayed the night for the first time back in 2000 and we played Mario Party 2 until the sun came up or when it was seniors last day, we walked out, went to my house and he stayed there for 3 weeks, playing games together and him leaving an imprint of himself on the couch cause he rarely moved. I'll always love him.
I'm sorry for the heavy shit, not what the temp is about, but I need to get this out.
