Names are private, but to give to the long and short of it,
A couple months ago (First started around early July i believe) a close IRL friend (who is REALLY bad at social cues) was "working" (keep this two things in mind) with a couple of his friends on a FNF mod based off of his OC. I first got glimpse of it on my birthday party and I thought it was... alright. Designs looks good, songs sound ok (y'know, not the best but not the worst) and it was shaping up to be something that could have a big future if done right. He even told me he got some people who did work on other popular mods as well!
Around September, I got a discord account for my high school's "ESports club" (we still haven't done esports related things yet). Told my friend and got invited to his private server and the server used for the mod. Same comments as when I saw the mod for the first time, but I didn't do much of anything. I was an "Ideas guy" (basically a freeloader) and didn't have any jobs because noone gave me any. My friend told me it was fine, and that I didn't have to do anything.
Later in late October, early September, I got back from school and checked in with the mod team, seeing what they were doing. The server was in mild chaos and the leader (my friend) was gone.
Long story short, apparently the leader (MY FRIEND) didn't barely did ANY work on the mod and made some really, REALLY suggestive comments (no grooming, but still creepy). The work he did do was minimal, mainly bad art.
I told them that I was friends with him and I could probably ask him for an apology or something. He got back, (left out the part about suggestive comments, but I didn't know until afterwards), and I just had to go back and post his response. Easy, right?
I... overcomplicated things in my head, wondering if they would "shoot the messenger" and stuff, and in concern about my friend, so I left the server. The same, cowardly way my friend went. No explanation, no response, nothing. Just packed up my bags and left.
A day or two later, I realized that it was bad on my part to do the exact thing he did. So I left his private server and unfriended him on discord. I still have his phone number and Messenger, but we haven't talked ever since.
(Edit: It's funny, the more I think about it. At my birthday party, we were talking about his room and that he had a bunch of anime merch, mainly of Hatsune Miku. He told me that he was basically open to his parents about that stuff. Clearly he wasn't open about this.)
I was still so new to discord and I never thought it could happen to me, which is what they all say.
The situation has wasn't that big, since this was basically a nobody group. It's died down since then, and I'm pretty sure the only ones who know are the ones who were a part of it. But I still regret my actions. I should have posted a response, I should have given a reason to why I left, I should have at least told my friend what he did wrong. But I didn't, all because I worried about him too much and it was all too much for me.
Was I probably safe? Yeah, most likely. Is what I did irrational? Very much so yes.
I was afraid to leave the school discord server and go to other ones out of fear of being recognized. What if the server is still up and they're looking for me? They're most likely not, but I didn't want to take the risk.
I've been doing well since then. I found new, better friends, and I'm going to put my best effort of what I do from now on.
But keeping it off my mind and not sharing it with anyone was just hurting me more. I just wanted to get this off my chest to get it off my conscious.
I just want to move past this incident and keep moving forward, not letting my mistakes repeat.
TD;LR: Had a friend working on a FNF mod who was lazy and made bad decisions. I made bad choices and bad decisions that led to this post. I fully regret my decisions and hope to move past it.
A couple months ago (First started around early July i believe) a close IRL friend (who is REALLY bad at social cues) was "working" (keep this two things in mind) with a couple of his friends on a FNF mod based off of his OC. I first got glimpse of it on my birthday party and I thought it was... alright. Designs looks good, songs sound ok (y'know, not the best but not the worst) and it was shaping up to be something that could have a big future if done right. He even told me he got some people who did work on other popular mods as well!
Around September, I got a discord account for my high school's "ESports club" (we still haven't done esports related things yet). Told my friend and got invited to his private server and the server used for the mod. Same comments as when I saw the mod for the first time, but I didn't do much of anything. I was an "Ideas guy" (basically a freeloader) and didn't have any jobs because noone gave me any. My friend told me it was fine, and that I didn't have to do anything.
Later in late October, early September, I got back from school and checked in with the mod team, seeing what they were doing. The server was in mild chaos and the leader (my friend) was gone.
Long story short, apparently the leader (MY FRIEND) didn't barely did ANY work on the mod and made some really, REALLY suggestive comments (no grooming, but still creepy). The work he did do was minimal, mainly bad art.
I told them that I was friends with him and I could probably ask him for an apology or something. He got back, (left out the part about suggestive comments, but I didn't know until afterwards), and I just had to go back and post his response. Easy, right?
I... overcomplicated things in my head, wondering if they would "shoot the messenger" and stuff, and in concern about my friend, so I left the server. The same, cowardly way my friend went. No explanation, no response, nothing. Just packed up my bags and left.
A day or two later, I realized that it was bad on my part to do the exact thing he did. So I left his private server and unfriended him on discord. I still have his phone number and Messenger, but we haven't talked ever since.
(Edit: It's funny, the more I think about it. At my birthday party, we were talking about his room and that he had a bunch of anime merch, mainly of Hatsune Miku. He told me that he was basically open to his parents about that stuff. Clearly he wasn't open about this.)
I was still so new to discord and I never thought it could happen to me, which is what they all say.
The situation has wasn't that big, since this was basically a nobody group. It's died down since then, and I'm pretty sure the only ones who know are the ones who were a part of it. But I still regret my actions. I should have posted a response, I should have given a reason to why I left, I should have at least told my friend what he did wrong. But I didn't, all because I worried about him too much and it was all too much for me.
Was I probably safe? Yeah, most likely. Is what I did irrational? Very much so yes.
I was afraid to leave the school discord server and go to other ones out of fear of being recognized. What if the server is still up and they're looking for me? They're most likely not, but I didn't want to take the risk.
I've been doing well since then. I found new, better friends, and I'm going to put my best effort of what I do from now on.
But keeping it off my mind and not sharing it with anyone was just hurting me more. I just wanted to get this off my chest to get it off my conscious.
I just want to move past this incident and keep moving forward, not letting my mistakes repeat.
TD;LR: Had a friend working on a FNF mod who was lazy and made bad decisions. I made bad choices and bad decisions that led to this post. I fully regret my decisions and hope to move past it.
