I'm crying...

Hello there, don't worry, You can not allow other people opinions affect you so much, you must take responsibility for your actions and be honest with yourself, however you never let anybody to make you feel about you something you aren't.

Cry and let the sadness, angry and weigh on your soul go out, then take a deep breath cuddle your self with a hot beverage, and let you be a little introspective and you will find what the things are no so heavy or worse as you think.

Do not allow other people affect your well-being, be sad is good but only when is for a real cause.

I don't believe you could be a monster (unless you are a cookie monster )

Regards from Colombia.

@impeeza thank you so much. i know im not perfect, none is. but im not that bad of a person...

i really needed to read these words. sorry for being such a whiney here in the temp...

ill drink some hot abuelita chocolate and try to relax a bit. i was already playing something to keep my mind somewhere else.
maybe i'm a bad person ... but not completely evil.

thank you again. send you hugs.

i'm not still smiling in real life, but reading you helped me a lot to stop sobbing. and i'm very grateful for that.

Don't be worry, we are here to be a community, for help each others to share and to be friends. So no whiney, only your feelings and they are OK.
Love you could have chocolate de la abuelita, that always warm the chest and the soul.

A big hug from Colombia, and hope at least this night you can sketch a grimace of smile knowing some body hear you.

Hard to answer on this blog entry. There is much missing information here.

A helpful reply on negative feelings through the internet is not easy as well. This is an important statement:

impeeza said:

Hello there, don't worry, You can not allow other people opinions affect you so much, you must take responsibility for your actions and be honest with yourself, however you never let anybody to make you feel about you something you aren't.

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Feedback (positive and negative) from other people can be helpful and being self-centered is not going to make you a good person. That does not mean other people may have arbitrary influence on your decisions, feeling and ultimately on your life.
Ultimately you have to find your own way, your own balance. Sorry for being so vague here. I'm repeating myself: Hard to give a good answer when not knowing the situation.


=====
One warning:

Only a question of time – when uttering (negative) feelings online – until the overused word "drama" pops up ridiculing anybody in trouble with said feelings. So be prepared to not get comforted but attacked online. More important than in real life is the ability to ignore negative feedback from strangers who have only read text from you.
Just mentioning this because the same happened to me once sorting my thoughts in a blog entry (unfortunately the messages got deleted when the user in question deleted their account – seems blog comments don't get preserved like anything else on account removal).
What do I want to say with that: I could not stop laughing when a stranger started insulting me out of nowhere for having emotions.

There's no need to cry over a leaked milk. We are there for you. You are not the worst, bad things just happen. It's not your fault.

@HiradeGirl how is going on your day? take care!

KleinesSinchen said:

Hard to answer on this blog entry. There is much missing information here.

A helpful reply on negative feelings through the internet is not easy as well. This is an important statement:

Feedback (positive and negative) from other people can be helpful and being self-centered is not going to make you a good person. That does not mean other people may have arbitrary influence on your decisions, feeling and ultimately on your life.
Ultimately you have to find your own way, your own balance. Sorry for being so vague here. I'm repeating myself: Hard to give a good answer when not knowing the situation.


=====
One warning:

Only a question of time – when uttering (negative) feelings online – until the overused word "drama" pops up ridiculing anybody in trouble with said feelings. So be prepared to not get comforted but attacked online. More important than in real life is the ability to ignore negative feedback from strangers who have only read text from you.
Just mentioning this because the same happened to me once sorting my thoughts in a blog entry (unfortunately the messages got deleted when the user in question deleted their account – seems blog comments don't get preserved like anything else on account removal).
What do I want to say with that: I could not stop laughing when a stranger started insulting me out of nowhere for having emotions.

Click to expand...

thank you. I agree. but here people seem to be usually not as asses as in other places, like Reddit.

ive been a long time lurker, since 2014, even if I just created my account recently.

i can ignore most random negative online comments, i guess, but irl comments feel different, even from strangers.

about what i did. it's long. sorry for that.

i'm friends from a long time with a guy who is already married and with children. he had a kid since he was 16 years old (yeah, that tells a lot), but he didn't just vanish when her girlfriend told her about it, and stayed together for the kid.

i know him since i can remember. He is 4 years older than me. He was son of my parents' long time friends, he used to carry his GameCube everywhere, and would teach me to play smash bros, Mario kart and would lend me his GBA for months with only Aria of Sorrow and FFTA.

just a bit of background, anyway, fast forward to the present, that kid is 8 years old. and they had another kid who is now 5 years old. older is a boy, younger is a girl.

I visited them yesterday, i was to stay with them for a week. It was months since the last time i visited, so I thought of getting some gifts for their kids. both kids are avid switch gamers (the boy plays minecraft, smash, Kirby, zelda, whatever Nintendo, and the girl is still learning as a 5 yo, but she enjoys just moving Link nowhere on BOTW), so I got two of those combo packs with case and controller for the switch, one Mario themed and one Zelda themed, as gifts for them.

long long story, but we get to the important part. their mom (who I thought also as friends after all these years) got angry at me for the gifts after i gave them to the kids, at her house. she said i was trying to buy them with gifts, and that i was a monster for trying to get them to "love me more than they love her". that i should have told her beforehand if i was bringing them gifts. I just left immediately, and told the dad (my friend, who was still about to arrive from work) through message that i had some problems at work and i had to go.

the thing is, he is my only actual friend IRL who has never made fun of me for my hobbys or for my important decisions in life. and i have been in touch with him via messages all these years, and i visit him and his family around twice per year, since he lives 12 hours from me in car. i also texted his wife a lot, nearly everyday, I thought we were also friends.

it hurts.

impeeza said:

@HiradeGirl how is going on your day? take care!

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good so far. thx. never thought i would do a cliche taken out directly off movies so soon in my life.

I finally finished Mario Odyssey and ate LOTS of ice cream after the hot chocolate . just starting to play Metroid Dread now.

how are you, @impeeza ?

HiradeGirl said:

good so far. thx. never thought i would do a cliche taken out directly off movies so soon in my life.

I finally finished Mario Odyssey and ate LOTS of ice cream after the hot chocolate . just starting to play Metroid Dread now.

how are you, @impeeza ?

Click to expand...

Cool, that should take your mind a rest.

I am I little down now, bad day, but, well, nothing a Cocoa and Super Mario Bros Wonder do not get off my mind. Thank you so much for asking.

impeeza said:

Cool, that should take your mind a rest.

I am I little down now, bad day, but, well, nothing a Cocoa and Super Mario Bros Wonder do not get off my mind. Thank you so much for asking.

Click to expand...

oh, i hope it's not so bad.

gaming also helps with this.. it's like watching a movie ir reading. escaping for a while is not wrong.

thx again for your first comment here, It really helped me a lot in that moment.

send you thoughts and hugs.

my agüelita, used to say: "nada duele como el primer día" something like "there is no pain like the one on the first day", so I hope you will start feeling better by the day.

Hope you have a very good weekend and the next week will be better to you and you mood.

I will try to apply my advice to myself today.

big hug from Colombia.

HiradeGirl said:

i can ignore most random negative online comments, i guess, but irl comments feel different, even from strangers.

Click to expand...

That is a very healthy attitude many (often young) people do not have! So many people are not able to do this and cry over posts like you did over a real life incident. Guess how such people suffer when encountering real life problems, where no "Ignore", "Kick", "Ban", "Report" or "Block" button exists.

HiradeGirl said:

that i should have told her beforehand if i was bringing them gifts

Click to expand...

She does have a point here. Gifts for children – meant in the most positive way – can have negative influence. You do not know the current situation of a family and if a gift fits in right now.
On the other side:

HiradeGirl said:

she said i was trying to buy them with gifts, and that i was a monster for trying to get them to "love me more than they love her"

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This is going way toooooo far. Even though kids at that age can be impressed with material gifts, there is far more needed to bribe them away from their mother (and if that works something is in deep trouble within the family relationship). A single incident like this is no reason to assume such an intention or to use words like "monster".
A friendly: "Next time talk to me before." would have been enough.
=======

I'm probably the worst person to give advise regarding friendship. I've had no luck in my whole life with it and gave it up for good. There is a reason why I only interact with other humans as far as needed (buying groceries for example) and limit myself on social contact simulation online (here).
My own opinion: Running away does not solve problems. Try explaining the situation to your friend(s) and make clear you had no bad intentions.

You’ll be fine if you keep moving forward.

My life is 32.0 lbs more dog shit than yours—I’ve essentially lost all of my family, my pets, my friends, my money, my clothes, tech, tools….yeah, even my mind.

I’m still kicking and this is the Xxxth time I had to restart. It probably won’t be the last, either.

But

I can tell you, I have more coping skills than most other humans alive right now. I’ve built skills of resilience.

Remember, bullshit is fertilizer and I work the land for the crops.

KleinesSinchen said:

That is a very healthy attitude many (often young) people do not have! So many people are not able to do this and cry over posts like you did over a real life incident. Guess how such people suffer when encountering real life problems, where no "Ignore", "Kick", "Ban", "Report" or "Block" button exists.


She does have a point here. Gifts for children – meant in the most positive way – can have negative influence. You do not know the current situation of a family and if a gift fits in right now.
On the other side:

This is going way toooooo far. Even though kids at that age can be impressed with material gifts, there is far more needed to bribe them away from their mother (and if that works something is in deep trouble within the family relationship). A single incident like this is no reason to assume such an intention or to use words like "monster".
A friendly: "Next time talk to me before." would have been enough.
=======

I'm probably the worst person to give advise regarding friendship. I've had no luck in my whole life with it and gave it up for good. There is a reason why I only interact with other humans as far as needed (buying groceries for example) and limit myself on social contact simulation online (here).
My own opinion: Running away does not solve problems. Try explaining the situation to your friend(s) and make clear you had no bad intentions.

Click to expand...

Thanks for your comments. Sorry for the late response. I agree, I should talk with them. I haven't yet...