fuck you high school, fuck you adolescence, and fuck you teen hormones.
where shall i start? im 15; im a diehard metalhead; play in a metal band; i like to spend free time playing bass and furthering my mentality (through meditation, reading, and for-fun political analysis/satire [family guy + south park ftw] mostly); used to spend it with a few friends, smoking pot, spinning a Led Zeppelin record and having a fun, relaxing time (but we all ended up quitting, and are staying quit till high school is done for various reasons). and since the day i first stepped into high school i realized the stereotypes of gossip, dating, and sheer shallowness were mostly pretty damn real. im in grade 10 now, and in grade 8+9, i had few friends, not much of a social life, i was pretty content with my life. i started smoking pot the summer after grade 8, and quit only several months ago, it was a ton of fun while it lasted.
i formed my band with my best friend that same summer, and we were pretty much struggling up until about the beginning of school, when we finally had a good line-up, some good written material, and a few shows under our belts. i also played football (after a year absence because the year before i got injured badly at the spring camp and quit) at my school this year, people seemed to know this and about my band, and suddenly i have a ton more people wanting to be my friend, and i just kinda accepted it, without questioning what was happening. i had unknowingly become part of the system which i dreaded so much, and my mind became comfortable with it. time goes on, i apparently seem to have a social life, and something happens...i appear to fall for one of my longest known female friends. i've known her since kindergarten, we've been pretty close since then. she's incredibly attractive, funny, smart, artistic, spontaneous, and i shan't lie...a bit crazy in a very hot way. so, new years rolls by, one of my buddies has a party, we were both there, i got a lot more drunk than i was hoping, and she wasnt too drunk at all, and apparently i said a lot of shit about me wanting her really badly (but imagine it being said drunkenly, in a way that probably sounds depressed and desperate - and of course, by this point, shes aware) and also i apparently annoyed the shit out of her. so, i dont actually remember any of this, and winter break ends, school starts again, first two days i see her and talk to her normally like nothing happened (cuz at this point i still had no clue what happened). then one of my friends and another of her friends tells me about the ass i made of myself. when i got a moment alone with her, i apologized as sincerely as possible, and its been very awkward between us since then...i see her in the hallways, and say hi as i normally would, she says hi back...but now, never gives me that sort of happy, glad-to-see-you sort of smile she always used to when we talked. i'm pretty sure she's also about to have a little something going with some other kid in my grade (i wont lie...he's a lot more status quo and less weird than i, and could quite possibly would serve her better than i could...). i feel terrible, at this point i've pretty much totally backed the fuck off at attempting anything...i just dont wanna lose a good friend now
needless to say, i've pretty much cut myself off of that faux 'social life' i gained myself, gone back to walking around by myself at lunchtime and such, merely pondering about anything and everything.
tl;dr version: i somehow achieve a social life, then i went and got drunk and fucked up not only my chances at a heightened relationship, but a great friendship as well.
theres my not-so-sad and probably even quite shallow story.
fuck you, high school.
where shall i start? im 15; im a diehard metalhead; play in a metal band; i like to spend free time playing bass and furthering my mentality (through meditation, reading, and for-fun political analysis/satire [family guy + south park ftw] mostly); used to spend it with a few friends, smoking pot, spinning a Led Zeppelin record and having a fun, relaxing time (but we all ended up quitting, and are staying quit till high school is done for various reasons). and since the day i first stepped into high school i realized the stereotypes of gossip, dating, and sheer shallowness were mostly pretty damn real. im in grade 10 now, and in grade 8+9, i had few friends, not much of a social life, i was pretty content with my life. i started smoking pot the summer after grade 8, and quit only several months ago, it was a ton of fun while it lasted.
i formed my band with my best friend that same summer, and we were pretty much struggling up until about the beginning of school, when we finally had a good line-up, some good written material, and a few shows under our belts. i also played football (after a year absence because the year before i got injured badly at the spring camp and quit) at my school this year, people seemed to know this and about my band, and suddenly i have a ton more people wanting to be my friend, and i just kinda accepted it, without questioning what was happening. i had unknowingly become part of the system which i dreaded so much, and my mind became comfortable with it. time goes on, i apparently seem to have a social life, and something happens...i appear to fall for one of my longest known female friends. i've known her since kindergarten, we've been pretty close since then. she's incredibly attractive, funny, smart, artistic, spontaneous, and i shan't lie...a bit crazy in a very hot way. so, new years rolls by, one of my buddies has a party, we were both there, i got a lot more drunk than i was hoping, and she wasnt too drunk at all, and apparently i said a lot of shit about me wanting her really badly (but imagine it being said drunkenly, in a way that probably sounds depressed and desperate - and of course, by this point, shes aware) and also i apparently annoyed the shit out of her. so, i dont actually remember any of this, and winter break ends, school starts again, first two days i see her and talk to her normally like nothing happened (cuz at this point i still had no clue what happened). then one of my friends and another of her friends tells me about the ass i made of myself. when i got a moment alone with her, i apologized as sincerely as possible, and its been very awkward between us since then...i see her in the hallways, and say hi as i normally would, she says hi back...but now, never gives me that sort of happy, glad-to-see-you sort of smile she always used to when we talked. i'm pretty sure she's also about to have a little something going with some other kid in my grade (i wont lie...he's a lot more status quo and less weird than i, and could quite possibly would serve her better than i could...). i feel terrible, at this point i've pretty much totally backed the fuck off at attempting anything...i just dont wanna lose a good friend now
needless to say, i've pretty much cut myself off of that faux 'social life' i gained myself, gone back to walking around by myself at lunchtime and such, merely pondering about anything and everything.
tl;dr version: i somehow achieve a social life, then i went and got drunk and fucked up not only my chances at a heightened relationship, but a great friendship as well.
theres my not-so-sad and probably even quite shallow story.
fuck you, high school.
