Most of you know that my friends are NDS stupid by now, so I thought I'd make a thread about it. All of these are rougly paraphrased, but are as close as possible.
I can't put any more quotes here. ;_;
Him: "Uh, yeah, this R4 thing don't play no DS games."
He shows me an iPlayer.
Me: "That's an iPlayer flash cart. It doesn't play DS games. You're stuck with games random people made and a small amount of GBA games, and maybe some movies."
Him: "Could you, like, modify that AKAIO stuff for me? That stuff plays DS games."
Her: "How do you play ROMs on the thing?"
Me: "On what?"
Her: "On this thingy. It's little and square."
I realize that she's talking about either a flash cart or an actual game cart for a DS.
Me: "What's it say on it?"
Her: "Animal Crossing."
Me: "You can't play ROMs on that."
Her: "But it's little and square like your thing."
Me: "You still can't--"
Her: "But I don't want this game."
Me: "Then go sell it?"
Her: "Fine, I'll just go ask *Name of another friend of hers who designs websites*."
Me: "Why do you think she can help you?"
Her: "I dunno, she's pretty internet-savvy."
I call a friend of mine after he tells me one day that he has a 3in1.
Me: "Hey *Name of friend*. How do you like your new 3in1?"
Him: "I don't have a spot for this thing."
Me: "Isn't your DS a Lite?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "Turn your DS upside down and look at the back of it. Do you see a half-oval?"
Him: "Yeah."
Me: "Push upward on that. That part comes out."
I hear a small click on the other end.
Him: "Hey, it's a GBA slot."
Him: "How do you play this?"
He shoves a The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks cartridge into my face.
Me: "You use the touch screen to mo---"
Him: "I didn't get this piece of shit to use the touch screen!"
Him: "So, uh... I've got a Game Boy Color game. How do I play it?"
Me: "Stick it in your Game Boy Color or Game Boy Advance, then follow the tutorial?"
Him: "I've got a DSi. Can I play it in that?"
Him and Her: "We have a problem. So, this R4 plays ROMs good."
Me: "Okay. What's the problem then?"
Him and Her: "It won't let us use our SD cards from our phones."
Me: "Are they above 2gb?"
Him and Her: "Yes."
Me: "An original R4 like you two have cannot use micro SD cards utilizing over 2gb of storage."
Him and Her: "Okay, now we have another problem."
Me: "Okay, shoot."
Him and Her: "So, uh... Where can we download a PS2 emulator for this thing?"
Me: "You can't."
Him and Her: "Why not?"
Me: "The Nintendo DS is not powerful enough to emulate or play PS2 games."
Him and Her: "But the R4 plays ROMs."
Me: "PS2 ROMs are actually ISOs. They aren't recognized by R4s."
Him and Her: "But the R4 can play ROMs. You probably just don't know how these things work."
Her: "Uh... How do I get this 'meme' (she prounced it as may-may) stuff on my Acekard?"
This is while I'm helping her play Animal Crossing.
Her: "Uh... I don't like this person. How do I look more like those people?"
She points to a purple cat.
Not really a DS derp, but this still counts.
Him: "It won't let me project my DS onto my TV screen."
Me: "What won't?"
Him: "My Wii HD."
Me: "You mean the Wii U?"
Him: "What's the funny noise for?"
A friend of mine recently got a DS Lite because I talked her into it. She called me the day she got it and said this.
Her: "I don't have a menu!"
Me: "Do you boot directly to a game?"
Her: "No, but I think I broke something."
Me: "Okay, what do you see?"
Her: "DS Game, Pictochat, DS Download, GBA, and the little setup button."
Me: "Then you have a menu."
Her: "But the commercials show the DS having some cool little slidey menu and you can download games!"
Me: "You realize you have a DS Lite, right?"
Her: "Yes, the small DS with the GBA slot."
Me: "You can't have the GBA slot AND the 'slidey menu' or the download games."
Her: "Yes I can. The commercials said so!"
Him: "My DS won't turn on."
Me: "Have you charged it any?"
Him: "Yeah, I go on wifi."
Me: "What does Wifi have to do with charging."
Him: "It's a wireless console, so it charges through the Wifi, right?"
My roommate: "Which game involves Zelda, again? That one with the dog?"
This is the one time that one of my friends had a genuine problem with their DS. It happened 20 minutes ago.
Her: "Uh... What does this mean?"
She showed me her DSi at this point, which had an error upon booting.
Me: "Were you downloading the 3DS transfer tool?"
Her: "Yeah, but what does this have to do with my DSi not working?"
Me: "You'll have to call Nintendo about this. The 3DS transfer tool occasionally gives an error 99% into downloading and bricks your DS."
Her: "Bricks it? Like, throws a brick at it?"
Me: "The download for that application occasionally turns the DSi into a functionless paperweight."
Her: "Occasionally? So this will fix if I turn it on enough times?"
Me: "No, I mean occasionally when you attempt to download, you'll get the error that bricks your DSi."
Her: "And how do I fix it?"
Me: ".....send it to Nintendo...?"
Her: "I thought you could fix it."
Me: "Why do you think I could fix a problem like this?"
Her: "You know about those flash card thingies, so I thought you knew how to fix errors, too."
I ended up having to show her where to find Nintendo's support number. Thankfully, she's smart enough not to try to fix the problem herself. Last I heard, she was on the phone with Nintendo's support, getting all the information to send her DS in. Thank the gods her DS is still within warranty or I would've heard no end to "But I want it fixed for free" complaining.
Her: "I heard of this cool game and I want to get it. Should I get it?"
Me: "What's it for?"
Her: "The Dual Screen."
Me: "What's the name of it?"
Her: "I can't remember."
Me: "Do you remember anything about it?"
Her: "The Ring."
Me: "The Nameless Game?"
Her: "Yeah! That's it! Should I get it?"
Me: "I don't think so. It hasn't been brought to the US, so you'll have to import it. Even then, you'll need to know Japanese to play it."
Her: "Why? If I import it, it'll be in English."
I had to explain for two hours why they don't translate a game just because it's going to be sent to the US. It turns out she thought import meant 'translate and sent to the US'.
Him: "My stylus is scratching my screen."
I check it out. No scratches.
Me: "There aren't any scratches on here."
He proceeds to tilt the DS until I see little smudge marks.
Me: "Those are smudges."
Him: "What? Those are scratches."
Me: "They're smudges."
I get a cleaning cloth and wipe the smudges away. He goes back to his house with an embarrassed look.
Him: "I'm looking for a DS game. Can you help?"
Me: "Sure. Tell me about this game."
Him: "It's about a guy."
Me: "Uh huh...."
Him: "And he saves the world."
Me: "More specific?"
Him: "No.."
Me: "I can't help you."
I later found out that the game he was looking for was Picross DS. No matter how much I ask, he still can't tell me how Picross DS is about a guy who saves the world.
On this day, a friend and I went to the local game shop together to find a copy of Guitar Hero: On Tour, WITH the guitar grip. This happened after around 20 minutes of searching for the game by itself (we asked at the counter and they said they didnt have any copies that came with the guitar grip).
Him: "I want this instead."
I go over to where he stood and looked where he was pointing. He was pointing at a copy of Imagine Doctor.
Me: "That game's stupid. If you want a better doctor simulator, go for Trauma Center."
Him: "I don't want any of your weeabo bullshit. This looks real and fun."
I ended up going back with him a day later to trade Imagine Doctor in for Trauma Center.
A friend and I were going to the local game shop to trade in a couple of her unwanted Wii games.
Her (to the guy at the register): "Um... Hey, do you guys sell R4s?"
This was actually MY bad.
Me: "Hey, do you know why *Name of some random game* doesn't work?"
Him: "The fuck? You're the expert, not me."
Him: "My DSi has a virus."
Me: "DSi's don't get viruses"
Him: "I downloaded the new update and now my Acekard doesn't work."
Me: "That's not a virus. Bring your Acekard to my house later and I'll fix it."
He never brought it.
I can't put any more quotes here. ;_;
