I'll just go ahead and wish myself a happy birthday.

I got Zelda OOT 3D and I'm going out to a steakhouse with my mom later tonight.

Yay!
Also I might finally muster up the courage to tell the guy I have a crush on currently, how I feel.
Personal stuff in spoiler.
He's someone I've known since March and spent hours upon hours talking to ever since we met.
We met on World of Warcraft because he and I were into PVP and he couldn't beat me after trying for 90 minutes to kill me in a duel before I told him that no rogue on the server had ever beat me since the beginning of the season (I played Disc Priest). And we just started playing together a lot after that, though we have both quit WoW for some time now.
I never really thought of him the way I do now until recently. I dreamed I was his nurse and he had healing bullet wounds in his chest. It was odd. Only time I ever had him in a dream at all.
He's younger than me. That was one thing that's deterred me from thinking of him as more than a friend for so long.
I swore off younger men earlier this year, and then wound up getting involved with a guy younger than ever, and it was a disaster. Hadn't had my heart broken that brutally and swiftly ever since I was 13..
But I gotta hand it to Yas, he is one of few people who've really maintained a friendship with me outside of the medium through which we met. I don't meet many people who talk to me outside of what ever game we met in, but some of those people have become my most valued confidantes over the years, him included. I just wonder if he likes me in the sense that he would care for me to be his own. I dont know if that's what I want right now, but I do really have profound respect for him and he does have a job and he does have enough life experience that I see him as an adult when I don't even feel like I'm one at age 28.
The reason I swore off younger men at all is because I've spent a good part of my 20's being involved with younger men and it got me no happiness in the long run, especially with the seemingly endless chain of long distance quasi-relationships I've been involved in since 2006.
But at this point I just want to know if he thinks I'm really lovely. I never really cared if he did or not until recently. Maybe that's what made it so easy to spend so much time talking with him and playing online games together. But he also got a really good (in the admirable sense) job as a teacher's aide in a school for special needs children which should impress anyone who would question me getting involved with yet another younger guy despite my history of disappointment. Oh god. I am totally overthinking this.
He lives over a thousand miles away.
I have got to stop overthinking this.
I just wanna know if he thinks I'm really lovely... instead of just like a sister or family member.
I hope he does, I don't really understand why he would enjoy spending so much time talking to me if there wasn't more to it. But he's one of few people I've met that even after so many months I really can't tell if likes me that way at all.
For the record i think he's 22 or 23. O.o

Comments

cosmiccow
happy b-day!
have fun with zelda and i hope the guy also feels for you!
just go tell him! you will always regret it if you don't. but don't feel bad if nothing happens from it.
 
Vulpes Abnocto
Have a wonderful birthday. :grog:

And when you muster up the courage to talk to the guy about how you feel, I hope he'll reciprocate.
Sounds like a decent fella.
 
GreatCrippler
Happy Cake day. And tell him how you feel tomorrow. I think having your birthday influence his thinking positive, or negative might be regrettable later.
 
Sterling
Another year, another 365 1/4 chances to tell someone you love them. Take a chance.
 
Hells Malice
We met on World of Warcraft because he and I were into PVP and he couldn't beat me after trying for 90 minutes to kill me in a duel before I told him that no rogue on the server had ever beat me since the beginning of the season (I played Disc Priest). And we just started playing together a lot after that, though we have both quit WoW for some time now.
Click to expand...

Best love story ever, and a happy ending to boot (well the end of my quote is a happy moment).

Anyways, ask. He's really not much younger then you. It may be slightly unconventional for a woman to be older in a relationship...but really, who cares.

The unknown is a worse feeling then solid rejection. Rejection hurts for a while and eventually fades, but liking someone and not having the courage to see how they feel about you could eat away at you for a very, very long time. Especially if you keep in contact with that person and they end up getting into a relationship. That hurts, a lot. Plus he might also say yes.
You're single whether you don't ask him, and you're single if he rejects you. So you stand to lose nothing in that perspective, but of course he could always say yes. Which is a very big gain. It's like putting in a bet to double your money, but not actually losing that money if you lose. You only stand to gain, so you might as well try it, right?

As for long distance...psh. Planes are honestly pretty cheap. I've considered several times visiting my friends in California (they live near san fran, I live about mid-BC, which is pretty damn far) and a plane ticket costs me maybe $400 for a round trip, or so.
However you do have to consider long-term, eventually. If you two kids fall in love, you'll be able to overcome the distance.


Oh, and Happy Birthday.
 
SinHarvest24
Happy birthday chick!!

Hope you had a awesome day!!!

You have to take the risk and tell the special person how you feel...i hope everything goes well.
 
exangel
[quote name='Terminator02' post='3869072' date='Sep 3 2011, 06:52 PM']Happy Birthday, and for the record, i didn't forget[/quote]
You get an e-cookie!

[quote name='Hells Malice' post='3869242' date='Sep 3 2011, 08:49 PM']Anyways, ask. He's really not much younger then you. It may be slightly unconventional for a woman to be older in a relationship...but really, who cares.[/quote]I'm just afraid of wasting my own time again because every other younger guy I've had the situation happen and tell myself "He's different" and "It will work."
[quote name='Hells Malice' post='3869242' date='Sep 3 2011, 08:49 PM']The unknown is a worse feeling then solid rejection. Rejection hurts for a while and eventually fades, but liking someone and not having the courage to see how they feel about you could eat away at you for a very, very long time. Especially if you keep in contact with that person and they end up getting into a relationship. That hurts, a lot. Plus he might also say yes.
You're single whether you don't ask him, and you're single if he rejects you. So you stand to lose nothing in that perspective, but of course he could always say yes. Which is a very big gain. It's like putting in a bet to double your money, but not actually losing that money if you lose. You only stand to gain, so you might as well try it, right?

As for long distance...psh. Planes are honestly pretty cheap. I've considered several times visiting my friends in California (they live near san fran, I live about mid-BC, which is pretty damn far) and a plane ticket costs me maybe $400 for a round trip, or so.
However you do have to consider long-term, eventually. If you two kids fall in love, you'll be able to overcome the distance.[/quote]
I don't have a job (I'm lucky to have $400 at once for more than 24 hours, because I get help with my basic bills), and though I'm planning to move to El Paso where I have one pretty much guaranteed, the arrangements haven't even been made for the date that will happen. But I can't even remotely consider moving to Florida. And long distance blows, it's the reason I broke off an otherwise functional 3 year relationship in January. I can only take so much if the guy doesn't go out of his way to visit me, and I worry about all that being a waste of time too.
On the whole, though, I appreciate your advice. That's better than what I hear from my close friends who always tell me, "MEET SOMEONE LOCAL FOR GOD'S SAKE!". The thing is I am not even looking for a relationship and I HAVEN'T BEEN really, since January. I wanted to cool off and let my own life happen. Work on my own health (I've quit smoking, been 3 months now ...).
But the biggest response I really have to all that you've said is that, with this guy, I don't expect him to feel the way I feel, and it's something we can laugh off if he does reject me. He's got a great personality, but his sense of humor is why I really can't tell if he has any feelings for me. He's a big goof, so ..

But you're right. At least we quit WoW. Happy ending already. ^_^


edit: and i wound up freaking sleeping all afternoon and evening and therefore failing to get ahold of him when i woke up because of the 3hr time zone difference (arizona's currently on pacific time). i didnt wanna tell him over the phone but his mic broke so we couldn't use skype to talk this morning.
tomorrow hopefully.
 
Hells Malice
I'm just afraid of wasting my own time again because every other younger guy I've had the situation happen and tell myself "He's different" and "It will work."
Click to expand...

Ah right. I guess I read your first post wrong for that point. My bad.


And long distance blows, it's the reason I broke off an otherwise functional 3 year relationship in January. I can only take so much if the guy doesn't go out of his way to visit me, and I worry about all that being a waste of time too.
Click to expand...

I would never call long distance a waste of time, lol. The heart wants what the heart wants, and it's better to try and fail then to never try at all (wow two cliche lines in a row). LDR's have a lifespan of about 2 years if the people don't meet up. Extended by sheer force of will of course, but that's a typical timespan.

The thing is I am not even looking for a relationship and I HAVEN'T BEEN really, since January. I wanted to cool off and let my own life happen. Work on my own health (I've quit smoking, been 3 months now ...).
Click to expand...

Just because you aren't looking doesn't mean you should ignore chances to get into one. IMO. I tend to notice the best relationships are ones that happen when neither person is actually looking for one.


But the biggest response I really have to all that you've said is that, with this guy, I don't expect him to feel the way I feel, and it's something we can laugh off if he does reject me. He's got a great personality, but his sense of humor is why I really can't tell if he has any feelings for me. He's a big goof, so ..
Click to expand...

Then you definitely stand to lose absolutely nothing from asking him, lol.


EDIT: Oh, and sorry if i'm seeming rather pushy with this situation :wtf: I was just more or less in a similar situation and it ended in a life changingly bad situation. Ever since then i've believed and preached that it's best to confirm someones feelings if you have feelings for 'em. (I think I worded that poorly...lol. I just woke up.)
 
spotanjo3
[quote name='exangel' post='3868717' date='Sep 3 2011, 05:09 PM']I got Zelda OOT 3D and I'm going out to a steakhouse with my mom later tonight.

Yay!
Also I might finally muster up the courage to tell the guy I have a crush on currently, how I feel.
Personal stuff in spoiler.
He's someone I've known since March and spent hours upon hours talking to ever since we met.
We met on World of Warcraft because he and I were into PVP and he couldn't beat me after trying for 90 minutes to kill me in a duel before I told him that no rogue on the server had ever beat me since the beginning of the season (I played Disc Priest). And we just started playing together a lot after that, though we have both quit WoW for some time now.
I never really thought of him the way I do now until recently. I dreamed I was his nurse and he had healing bullet wounds in his chest. It was odd. Only time I ever had him in a dream at all.
He's younger than me. That was one thing that's deterred me from thinking of him as more than a friend for so long.
I swore off younger men earlier this year, and then wound up getting involved with a guy younger than ever, and it was a disaster. Hadn't had my heart broken that brutally and swiftly ever since I was 13..
But I gotta hand it to Yas, he is one of few people who've really maintained a friendship with me outside of the medium through which we met. I don't meet many people who talk to me outside of what ever game we met in, but some of those people have become my most valued confidantes over the years, him included. I just wonder if he likes me in the sense that he would care for me to be his own. I dont know if that's what I want right now, but I do really have profound respect for him and he does have a job and he does have enough life experience that I see him as an adult when I don't even feel like I'm one at age 28.
The reason I swore off younger men at all is because I've spent a good part of my 20's being involved with younger men and it got me no happiness in the long run, especially with the seemingly endless chain of long distance quasi-relationships I've been involved in since 2006.
But at this point I just want to know if he thinks I'm really lovely. I never really cared if he did or not until recently. Maybe that's what made it so easy to spend so much time talking with him and playing online games together. But he also got a really good (in the admirable sense) job as a teacher's aide in a school for special needs children which should impress anyone who would question me getting involved with yet another younger guy despite my history of disappointment. Oh god. I am totally overthinking this.
He lives over a thousand miles away.
I have got to stop overthinking this.
I just wanna know if he thinks I'm really lovely... instead of just like a sister or family member.
I hope he does, I don't really understand why he would enjoy spending so much time talking to me if there wasn't more to it. But he's one of few people I've met that even after so many months I really can't tell if likes me that way at all.
For the record i think he's 22 or 23. O.o
[/quote]

There can be two things:

He could be gay or he just like you like a sister to him thats all.
 
exangel
[quote name='Hells Malice' post='3869813' date='Sep 4 2011, 06:47 AM']LDR's have a lifespan of about 2 years if the people don't meet up. Extended by sheer force of will of course, but that's a typical timespan.[/quote]
Not meeting a man face to face within 6 months of commitment is completely unacceptable for me. The 3 year relationship I referred to wasn't entirely long distance, but the last year of it was. I only spent about 8 months out of that 3 years able to see that man face to face. Webcams can make up for a lot in the beginning, but unless there was a special situation (see below) I would never settle for it. I have two years left before I'm in my 30's so I'm not going to waste that being committed to someone I cant fuck, 'scuse my french.
I would only ever be willing to continue a relationship that may be long distance for the indefinitely distant future is if the man was in military service and deployment being the reason for extensive absences.


And your apology is appreciated and accepted. I'm not gonna be unrequited but I'm just .. I just gotta call him and tell him and hope he still wants to play games w/me.

[quote name='RockmanForte' post='3869817' date='Sep 4 2011, 06:50 AM']He could be gay or he just like you like a sister to him thats all.[/quote]

I know he's not gay and I can deal with the latter. But I still haven't told him/asked him because it's early and I'm still mustering up the courage.
I'm probably gonna fuckin wind up texting it to him. o.o

I think if he does like me and never wanted to make a move it's because of my vocal, negative attitude towards younger men and his direct exposure to the situation that happened earlier this year as he was friends with both me and the "REALLY young guy" that broke my heart.
He isn't friends with that guy anymore, of course.
He didn't wanna take obvious sides with anyone but he saw what was going on and told the guy he should maybe consider at least apologizing to me so I wouldn't have so many reasons to be overly hurt, and it was true, but that "REALLY young guy" didn't care to give a rats ass about me after he was done.

I still get angry at the idea of that really young guy. But being an asshole is not exclusive to youth and I know that. It's just a lot easier for me to wind up blaming myself for the failure of a relationship if I continue "making the same mistakes" (LDR's with younger guys I meet on games when I'm trying to avoid relationships, or at least {and especially} avoiding LDR's).



edit: after finishing this post, I wound up spending over an hour on the phone with him.
both he and i are more interested in focusing on our lives than having any kind of different relationship than we have right now, but i feel better now that he appreciated me saying that he has a special warmness in my heart that my other male friend don't.
he didn't indicate he feels the same, he was more forthcoming with saying how much he needs to straighten out his life and how he doesn't want things to be awkward just because he didn't want to even let the idea of romance cross his mind. i know what his situation is like, he does spend a lot of time talking to me, maybe even more than i spend talking to him, and a lot of that talk is about how many times he's let his life get fucked up or at least been distracted by putting women first, women that wound up screwing him over, or cheating on him, or tossing him away in a cascade of lies.
this is stuff that he didn't deserve to ever happen.. he's one of those chronic "nice guys" when it comes to women, and he's concentrating on his career and becoming independent, he hasn't been working long enough to move out of his family's home. and i don't want to interfere with that at all.
i'm fine with being just friends, it's exactly what i expected the outcome of my confession to be. his phone battery ran out, but i will get to talk to him again later this evening, because he still wants to know what my plans are for my future (I'm going to really, really, permanently move to El Paso now that I have no insurance in Arizona), and indicated that he would at least like to have an idea, when we may be able to meet in the foreseeable future. this is telling to me that he does like me somewhat, he just doesn't want to fuck up his momentum by letting it have any effect on the changes he's trying to make for himself right now. he has never implied we should meet each other before.
 
Schizoanalysis
[quote name='exangel' post='3870158' date='Sep 5 2011, 02:53 AM']this is telling to me that he does like me somewhat, he just doesn't want to fuck up his momentum by letting it have any effect on the changes he's trying to make for himself right now. he has never implied we should meet each other before.[/spoiler][/quote]

Just a word of friendly warning:

Be careful with implications... that's how sociopaths operate.

Remember: Actions speak far louder than words.

If I were you, I would ignore (more or less) what says, and focus on what he is actually doing. If he doesn't want to meet up with you, take that a face value, and do not read anything else into it.

This may sound a little dire, but if you do this, you will not get your heart broken.
 
exangel
[quote name='Schizoanalysis' post='3870684' date='Sep 4 2011, 06:12 PM']Just a word of friendly warning:

Be careful with implications... that's how sociopaths operate.

Remember: Actions speak far louder than words.

If I were you, I would ignore (more or less) what says, and focus on what he is actually doing. If he doesn't want to meet up with you, take that a face value, and do not read anything else into it.

This may sound a little dire, but if you do this, you will not get your heart broken.[/quote]

Please understand that I speak to this person daily, and have had conversations lasting as long as 10 hours since the time I met him in March. I am not going to set my self up for disappointment, if that's the purpose of your warning.

My conversation about *this* with *him* isn't finished yet, they don't always resolve right away because we're both really chatty in each other's presence and sometimes we digress.

Please don't think I'm as inexperienced with men as my own words about my experiences this year and with younger men may lead you to believe. >.>

I am not in danger of getting my heart broken by this guy.
 

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