Today has been a day of inner reflection, and certainly hasn't been a pretty emotional ride. I need to ventilate something I haven't spoken about to anyone but my parents, and GBAtemp is where it goes to now (because yeah, they didn't take my concerns seriously.)
I went to the hospital today to meet my grandfather. He's dying of late-stage diabetes, and he's going in to surgery to amputate his second leg the coming Tuesday (hopefully.) Because of his heart conditions and various complications, there's a risk that he may not survive the operation. Today may or may not have been the last time I see him. The good news is that it's not an emergency operation: it would have been if he needed to have the surgery last week.
When I got up this morning to go visit him, I realized we're barely a month away from Christmas. Time has flown away so fast for me, and I haven't had much fun at all. Everybody I have asked today says time "usually" goes slower for them, because they're bored. The same people point out that I'm just having fun, and that's why time goes fast...
But that's horseshit, really.
I once experienced time in days: what I mean is that everything I experience can be diced into significant days of my life. Recently, that's changed, and my experiences have turned to months instead. No matter how hard I try experiencing new things everyday, life just goes exponentially faster and faster.
I've lost various friends in my life in the past 4 months: I'm out of touch with my parents, my brothers, my friends... everyone. And it's all felt like it happened over the course of a few days.
So what does this mean to me? I'm scared of all this change and this speed. Everything around me is tremoring violently from its very foundation, and I'm not ready for this, if this is going to be the rest of my life. I don't know what to do anymore about time moving so fast for me. I'm hoping I don't feel alone about this....
~Aceâ„¢
I went to the hospital today to meet my grandfather. He's dying of late-stage diabetes, and he's going in to surgery to amputate his second leg the coming Tuesday (hopefully.) Because of his heart conditions and various complications, there's a risk that he may not survive the operation. Today may or may not have been the last time I see him. The good news is that it's not an emergency operation: it would have been if he needed to have the surgery last week.
When I got up this morning to go visit him, I realized we're barely a month away from Christmas. Time has flown away so fast for me, and I haven't had much fun at all. Everybody I have asked today says time "usually" goes slower for them, because they're bored. The same people point out that I'm just having fun, and that's why time goes fast...
But that's horseshit, really.
I once experienced time in days: what I mean is that everything I experience can be diced into significant days of my life. Recently, that's changed, and my experiences have turned to months instead. No matter how hard I try experiencing new things everyday, life just goes exponentially faster and faster.
I've lost various friends in my life in the past 4 months: I'm out of touch with my parents, my brothers, my friends... everyone. And it's all felt like it happened over the course of a few days.
So what does this mean to me? I'm scared of all this change and this speed. Everything around me is tremoring violently from its very foundation, and I'm not ready for this, if this is going to be the rest of my life. I don't know what to do anymore about time moving so fast for me. I'm hoping I don't feel alone about this....
~Aceâ„¢
