Fighting Parents

This the second time during my winter break where they randomly start yelling at each other and one storms off for a drive then its awkward silence for the rest of the night.

The first time they were fighting about whose family to visit on Christmas Day or something (Dad's family vs Mom's family). I mean that's why we have Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day; is that obvious or is it just me? Settle down children, you can see both families on either day by playing fair. I'm their 15 year old kid, not their marriage counselor to point out the obvious. One yelled at the other. Dad stormed off for a drive, came back 30 min later and sat in the front of the TV and didn't move. Mom sat in the master bedroom and watched TV in there and didn't move. Next morning, it was like nothing happened. They probably resolved in the morning or something.

The second time (today and currently) they were fighting over how they want their chicken tuna sandwiches made. Oh yes, let me repeat that: how they wanted their chicken tuna sandwiches made. Now the way I see it, you can't do much with chicken tuna that's store bought but whatever. Dad wanted some sort of condiment but my mother forgot and then she raged on how he doesn't treat her well or something. They he rages on how she does this to him every time he gets a vacation to spend with us. He stormed off slamming the door and nearly chipping the wood because the doors are hollow. Comes back 30 min and later and its the same drill as before except she's sleeping her room which started at around 5PM. So all that caused by a stupid sandwhich.

I'm pretty you can always fix things by talking them out but this gotten a bit too far, its a stupid sandwich. Throw it away and make yourself if you don't effin like how she does it; its not that hard. That's why every kid makes their own lunch starting in middle school cuz they don't like how their mom does it anymore.

On top of that my girlfriend forgot to give me her Christmas card that she made for me at her Christmas party yesterday. I told her what happen with my folks and yet somehow she insists that its fine if I ask and that I should be able to come over tomorrow. Its just a card, it can wait; I'm in an award position, I'm not going to bother asking. They'll end yelling at me and channeling their anger by taking something that I actually need to communicate to her with like my computer or my phone. I'm trying to make things better, not worse.

They need to stop acting like babies and just figure it out already and bring out the white "truce" flags.

Comments

I know exactly what you mean.
Although much better these days, my parents used to argue SO often.

One of them does something totally minor and the other says something back, and the first takes it the wrong way and gets angry. Eventually one just leaves, you're just left sitting in the middle not talking.

I've tried to calm them down at times, but it's usually just pointless.

Hey, once you're married (not that I would actually know), you've already risen the white flag- for your life.
 
I also know exactly what you mean. My parents used to be horrible for starting huge arguments over next to nothing. I'm sure I was traumatized by them doing this when I was especially young, but as I got older I got more used to it(though a child can never get completely used to something like that). I have memories of literally crying despite being in separate room, and having nothing to do with the arguments they were having. Whenever I would try to enter one of their arguments to calm them down, I always ending up making them worse instead. >_<

I'm reeeeaally thankful that they don't do this anymore. They've completely changed in recent years. They had gotten so bad that one of their bosses(they work under the same boss) pretty much forced them to get counseling. This is pretty much the best thing that could have happened. Nothing changed immediately, but they did indeed change over the course of about half a year of being in counseling. My dad no longer has anger problems, and my mom has become more trustful(though she still does have a few issues she won't let go of).

Anyway, I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but perhaps you can hope that it might be resolved someday.
 
Happens Occassionally :P You can't really stop it, it's human Nature. Even the happiest of couples will eventually have a fight.
What I usually do when they do have a fight is hoard up some food, go to room, lock the door, and do random shit (Ds, Comp, Read a book)
 
[quote name='Hakoda' post='3341747' date='Dec 22 2010, 07:06 AM']The second time (today and currently) they were fighting over how they want their chicken tuna sandwiches made. Oh yes, let me repeat that: how they wanted their chicken tuna sandwiches made. Now the way I see it, you can't do much with chicken tuna that's store bought but whatever. Dad wanted some sort of condiment but my mother forgot and then she raged on how he doesn't treat her well or something. They he rages on how she does this to him every time he gets a vacation to spend with us. He stormed off slamming the door and nearly chipping the wood because the doors are hollow. Comes back 30 min and later and its the same drill as before except she's sleeping her room which started at around 5PM. So all that caused by a stupid sandwhich.[/quote]

Dude it's clearly the midlife crisis! You have nothing to worry about as long as they're fighting about sandwiches and how to spend the family together. It's just a phase.. You should worry when you're family starts fighting over issues with a little more magnitude.. You just made my day with the sandwich part btw.
 
[quote name='FireGrey' post='3342606' date='Dec 22 2010, 09:03 PM']One of them has to be the better person and stand down abit.[/quote]
And let the other one step on you?
No both of them must lose. Figure out a way.

But seriously, people fight coz they trust that they will make up. Only close people can fight and act as if it is nothing.
 
My parents did a bunch of fighting last year. It was hard to cope at first. Because the feeling you get from being influenced from their arguments is like Pink Floyd's "The Wall", in a sense that you feel like you're building the wall around yourself, and you eventually build it so high, you cannot see the light. Luckily, the wall crumbles in the end, but what quite happens isn't something you really know.

In my case, the wall crumbled around me and I went violent over my parents stupid arguments. I started breaking doors and walls and my own furniture to tell them "SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!". I didn't know why I did this until many months later; I was just mad. It didn't work very well at first, but the effect of my own rage probably turned their attention away from themselves. The spotlight grew on me and my brother, instead. I turned much colder and shallow, isolating myself for stretches of time, from my parents, friends and family... I avoided everyone. My brother did the same, but instead stuck with his girlfriend.

The moral of this wall of text is that you cannot ever change the situation your parents are in. But you can very certainly change the outcome, whether or not you're sacrificial about it. You can build a wall around yourself to forget about them, but you're gonna have to build a wall so high, that it'll collapse on itself, and over you.
 

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