Girl Troubles

You could stop being a wuss.
Then you'd get the girl and have more courage for yourself.
Just being a wuss gives people power over you.

I agree with your friends, let it blow over.
You can't force her to tell him to go away, she has to do it on her own, so unfortunately, you have no choice but to wait it out or tell her how you feel about the entire situation.

[quote name='phoenixgoddess27' post='3029497' date='Aug 6 2010, 01:58 PM']You could stop being a wuss.
Then you'd get the girl and have more courage for yourself.
Just being a wuss gives people power over you.

I agree with your friends, let it blow over.
You can't force her to tell him to go away, she has to do it on her own, so unfortunately, you have no choice but to wait it out or tell her how you feel about the entire situation.[/quote]
+1 but maybe not so harshly put.

Let it blow over cuz if he's fake then she'll get that and leave him. Patience is key. Also, wouldn't hurt to look after her, make sure that guy doesn't eff up the situation more. Get some courage, buy some self-esteem, and when the time comes, you'll have your chance. Don't blow that chance either

I can see you're very worried about this; I wouldn't worry too much cuz life has a funny way to making better

[quote name='Hakoda' post='3029504' date='Aug 6 2010, 04:03 PM']+1 but maybe not so harshly put.

Let it blow over cuz if he's fake then she'll get that and leave him. Patience is key. Also, wouldn't hurt to look after her, make sure that guy doesn't eff up the situation more. Get some courage, buy some self-esteem, and when the time comes, you'll have your chance. Don't blow that chance either

I can see you're very worried about this; I wouldn't worry too much cuz life has a funny way to making better [/quote]

That was harsh?
Haha, Jams knows he's awesome in my book, my advice is always bluntly put.
Isn't that right, Jams?

Don't. Date. Your friends. Seriously. You stand to gain...hugs, kisses, and sex, but stand to lose everything you already have. But, being a teenager, you won't understand till you do it yourself, so let the situation blow over first. Doing anything now will just put her in an awkward position and, if the relationship did take off, it would be tarnished by it.

Secondly, grow a pair. Rejection is scary, and I was just like you a few years back (afraid to make phone calls even), but it seriously doesn't matter what she says. If she says no, you keep a friend and find a different girl - if she says yes, congrats. You can't win em all, so don't bother trying.

Third - what's with all the relationship help blogs?

[quote name='phoenixgoddess27' post='3029519' date='Aug 6 2010, 10:13 PM']That was harsh?
Haha, Jams knows he's awesome in my book, my advice is always bluntly put.
Isn't that right, Jams?[/quote]
*peeks head out from behind the cushions* You mean you're not going to hurt me?

Yeah, I know I'm a wuss. I just overthink everything and I have no self-esteem. THis is what comes of years of being the butt of the joke for the entire school for 5 years.


Also, my fear of her rejecting me is that from then on she'll be really awkward around me because she knows how I feel about her and she thinks its creepy.

Girls tend to be retarded and pick the wrong boy/the bad boy/the boy that isn't right for them before they wise up. Fortunately by the time they wise up, a better girl has already found you. Don't waste your time trying for something that isn't going to happen no matter how much you want it to.

I think it's great to fall for your best friend. You need that friendship aspect in a relationship which just makes it better. And I wouldn't wait until it blows over. I say, tell her everything now, and about how dumb that guy is, and how you feel. She may know you like her, but you should just tell her anyways. It shows her you have enough guts.

I hope everything works out!

D: Why were you made fun of so much and what ^^ said.

[quote name='imshortandrad' post='3029539' date='Aug 6 2010, 04:24 PM']I think it's great to fall for your best friend. You need that friendship aspect in a relationship which just makes it better. And I wouldn't wait until it blows over. I say, tell her everything now, and about how dumb that guy is, and how you feel. She may know you like her, but you should just tell her anyways. It shows her you have enough guts.

I hope everything works out![/quote]

Most of the time, falling for your best friend doesn't work. If it doesn't, the relationship dies. If it does, you'll soon realize you two know each other too well and things will grow boring.

[quote name='phoenixgoddess27' post='3029497' date='Aug 6 2010, 10:58 PM']I agree with your friends, let it blow over.
You can't force her to tell him to go away, she has to do it on her own, so unfortunately, you have no choice but to wait it out or tell her how you feel about the entire situation.[/quote]
+1. She has to see for herself that the guy is a weasel, one way or the other. But you can't pester her about it (badmouthing the guy), that will just turn her against you. She has to see it for herself. You'll just have to let the whole thing blow over.


EDIT: Or you could tell her how you feel about her. Her. Don't mention the other guy. It's about you and her, and you could just tell her how you feel and cut the whole charade short.

[quote name='phoenixgoddess27' post='3029548' date='Aug 6 2010, 11:27 PM'][quote name='imshortandrad' post='3029539' date='Aug 6 2010, 04:24 PM']I think it's great to fall for your best friend. You need that friendship aspect in a relationship which just makes it better. And I wouldn't wait until it blows over. I say, tell her everything now, and about how dumb that guy is, and how you feel. She may know you like her, but you should just tell her anyways. It shows her you have enough guts.

I hope everything works out![/quote]

Most of the time, falling for your best friend doesn't work. If it doesn't, the relationship dies. If it does, you'll soon realize you two know each other too well and things will grow boring.
[/quote]


I guess it just depends on the person and the friendship. But, I guess he should just be patient and see how things go with that crappy guy.

[quote name='imshortandrad' post='3029539' date='Aug 6 2010, 11:24 PM']I think it's great to fall for your best friend. You need that friendship aspect in a relationship which just makes it better. And I wouldn't wait until it blows over. I say, tell her everything now, and about how dumb that guy is, and how you feel. She may know you like her, but you should just tell her anyways. It shows her you have enough guts.

I hope everything works out![/quote]

I agree with this post. If you get rejected, then you would have atleast tried. If you dont, maybe you'll regret it later too.

You can also try to wait it out.

[quote name='Delta517' post='3029557' date='Aug 6 2010, 11:32 PM']I agree with this post. If you get rejected, then you would have atleast tried. If you dont, maybe you'll regret it later too.

You can also try to wait it out. [/quote]

That's what I was trying to get at. Like, if you wait too long and miss your chance, you'll regret it. It could work out if you wait, too. But, I'm just saying.

[quote name='Jamstruth' post='3029533' date='Aug 6 2010, 11:20 PM']Also, my fear of her rejecting me is that from then on she'll be really awkward around me because she knows how I feel about her and she thinks its creepy.[/quote]
Don't think she doesn't already suspect your true feelings for her. If you don't talk to her about it, it will end up creepy and awkward anyway.

[quote name='Delta517' post='3029557' date='Aug 6 2010, 04:32 PM'][quote name='imshortandrad' post='3029539' date='Aug 6 2010, 11:24 PM']I think it's great to fall for your best friend. You need that friendship aspect in a relationship which just makes it better. And I wouldn't wait until it blows over. I say, tell her everything now, and about how dumb that guy is, and how you feel. She may know you like her, but you should just tell her anyways. It shows her you have enough guts.

I hope everything works out![/quote]

I agree with this post. If you get rejected, then you would have atleast tried. If you dont, maybe you'll regret it later too.

You can also try to wait it out.
[/quote]


The problem with that, is yeah, it could go great, but you don't wanna pester her cause then you ruin it for yourself. All things come with patience, he has to keep in mind, if the other guy is telling him how he feels and she's thinking about it, him telling him his feelings will make her feel like she has to break someone's heart and it'll put her in a bad position, either way, she has to lose someone, which is why it's best to wait.

I don't agree at all that a friendship will die if you try a relationship and it fails, unless you do something stupid.

I dated my best friend in the world. She and I were awesome friends, and we decided that maybe a relationship would be a good route.
3 or 4 months down the road we realized it may not be working as well as we hoped. Essentially she broke up with me, and I was hurt for about a week, then I realized i'm not going to ruin the best damn friendship I ever had over something like this, and we rekindled our friendship and ended up with an even stronger friendship. The relationship had left us with some fond memories that wouldn't have came to be without being BF/GF.

The problem with relationship advice is most people put their experiences into it as a bias.
We should all know that, despite a lot of similarities, humans are all quite different. Different things spawn different reactions.

So some questions to ask yourself to try figure out an answer. Answer with your heart, not your mind. Your heart doesn't overthink things.

1: Will you be able to maintain a friendship should she decide that your relationship as BF/GF isn't working out?
2: Same question, but do you think she could?
3: Are you willing to do, and say, what it takes to win her over? If you want her, you need to be a man and do this. You can't cop out halfway through, because THAT is what makes things awkward. If she's a good friend, and knows you like her, I really doubt things will be awkward if you make your move, and you make it strong. Even if it fails in the end, things should simply return as they were beforehand.
4: Can you handle rejection? There's always a chance for it. However slight it may be. Rejection will only harm your friendship if you let it. If you respect her decision with a smile, things will remain as they were before you asked.

If you can follow through with it, go for it. Speak from the heart, but try not to make it too heavy at first. Start out slow, and see how she reacts.
Also if you can and it feels right, try to do something like holding her hand, or simply putting your hand on hers. Works well if you're both sitting.

I've sort of lost my train of thought, I kinda got interrupted like 5 damn times while writing this, my bad. So if this is a little muttled or repetitive, that's why.
I can't even proof read because i've gotta go right now, doh.
If you like my advice, feel free to ask me questions. I've gotten fairly used to giving relationship advice.

Unanimous advice in this thread: Get your act together and stop being so terrified.
Differing opinions on friends and relationships, personally I'm in the camp that its not that bad an idea in theory. Doesn't always work out, of course, but in this case I really hope it does.

I can handle rejection, its basically the reaction I expect from her if/when I talk to her about it. Hell, I've kinda been through it before, felt crushed for a while but it didn't ruin our friendship. That was a terrible situation though, I tell her that I like her then 2 days later my best friend tell her he likes her (Yeah, sucks). This resulted in awkwardness between the 3 of us for the last 2 weeks or so of school followed by her choosing my best mate in a relationship that lasted less than a week.

[quote name='Jamstruth' post='3029533' date='Aug 6 2010, 05:20 PM'][quote name='phoenixgoddess27' post='3029519' date='Aug 6 2010, 10:13 PM']That was harsh?
Haha, Jams knows he's awesome in my book, my advice is always bluntly put.
Isn't that right, Jams?[/quote]
*peeks head out from behind the cushions* You mean you're not going to hurt me?

Yeah, I know I'm a wuss. I just overthink everything and I have no self-esteem. THis is what comes of years of being the butt of the joke for the entire school for 5 years.


Also, my fear of her rejecting me is that from then on she'll be really awkward around me because she knows how I feel about her and she thinks its creepy.
[/quote]

i know what your talkin about i have a girl whos a friend but she knows i like her but im too big a pansy to ask her.

as for your situation id say go for the ride and tell her how you REALLY FEEL worst she can do is say no thats how i see it.

you think your butt of the joke for three years well since middle school every student and most teachers hated my guts for no reason

[quote name='pokefreak2008' post='3063540' date='Aug 22 2010, 06:02 PM']you think your butt of the joke for three years well since middle school every student and most teachers hated my guts for no reason[/quote]

Just like some people here hate me for no reason

EDIT : Yes it was supposed to be a smiley