Will I have my online friends intact...
Or will they desert me and seek better people other than me?
Granted, this year was NOT the good year I expected. Everything was just disappointment, daily failures and hopelessness. I have been depressed since April of this year, lost a few online friends, unemployed and made an online enemy for 2-3 months. I got taunted by my enemy that I'm an autist, ugly, lying, selfish being and began complimenting how shit my artworks are and deserves not to be noticed because of copying someone else's artstyle. It drove me down to anxiety, uncontrollable crying ang questioning about my existence to the point that I'm having suicidal thoughts or thinking ways to end my life so that no one has to see my ugly existence ever again.
Just this last week took a turn for the worse, as I got an e-mail from my ex-friend showing how much she hates me now and began throwing hurtful words that degraded me as a human being. No one at my Skype (save at least 2-3 people) cared at my vent while the others gave me just a "Meh" and a cold shoulder. Some friends I have to my contact list, nothing but a mere decoration to my list.
As I type this, I could not help but to cry how much of a big mass of a failure I truly am. Will 2016 renew me? Or will I be thrown in an endless cycle of curse and misfortune all over again?
Or will they desert me and seek better people other than me?
Granted, this year was NOT the good year I expected. Everything was just disappointment, daily failures and hopelessness. I have been depressed since April of this year, lost a few online friends, unemployed and made an online enemy for 2-3 months. I got taunted by my enemy that I'm an autist, ugly, lying, selfish being and began complimenting how shit my artworks are and deserves not to be noticed because of copying someone else's artstyle. It drove me down to anxiety, uncontrollable crying ang questioning about my existence to the point that I'm having suicidal thoughts or thinking ways to end my life so that no one has to see my ugly existence ever again.
Just this last week took a turn for the worse, as I got an e-mail from my ex-friend showing how much she hates me now and began throwing hurtful words that degraded me as a human being. No one at my Skype (save at least 2-3 people) cared at my vent while the others gave me just a "Meh" and a cold shoulder. Some friends I have to my contact list, nothing but a mere decoration to my list.
As I type this, I could not help but to cry how much of a big mass of a failure I truly am. Will 2016 renew me? Or will I be thrown in an endless cycle of curse and misfortune all over again?
