I'm typing this because I'm fairly sure that nobody will give two cents to read this nor even care to acknowledge this blog exists. I'm completely bummed out and right now, border-lining deep depression. I feel invisible and I'm tired of it. I feel like I'm constantly looked down on or ignored. At work, when I'm out shadowing a lead technician (I have this gig as a cable technician for now), most customers never bother to address me. It's completely rude! "I know the other guy can fix your issue a bit better than I can but, for fucks sake, when someone politely says hello, have the human decency to acknowledge that he/she exists".
When I'm at home or even out and about, nobody ever takes the time to say "hello" to me. I have to initiate all the damn contact with my "friends". I know people have lives, go through tough times and can be busy but It would be nice for people to show that I matter to them. to top things off, let's not even get started how how ugly I feel. Sure, I'm married to a lovely woman and I care about her a lot but sometimes I get tired of knowing that so many people find her attractive and I never get a second look. I'm not looking around or anything but for fuck sake I don't want to feel ugly too.
My self esteem is completely shot. It's like when the Power Rangers blow up a monster and you know that muthafucka isn't coming back anymore. That's how low I feel. To the point of wanting to tell the world good bye. I'm tired of feeling like people think I'm stupid and just not worth talking to. I'm tired of people thinking that they can push and bully me around and I'm tired of feeling like I'm invisible. It's like my teenage years when people would ask me what's wrong and then walk away as I tell them. "Why the fuck did you ask in the first place if you were not going to listen?!"
People say that suicide is so horrible but damn, I'm in fucking agony and I cant take it anymore. There's never anyone around I can relate to. Sometimes I just want GBATemp in real life. I want people I can talk to and debate with about gaming, wrestling, politics and yes, even Power Rangers. I feel like such an oddball that it's driving me crazy. If anyone watched last night's episode of Big Bang Theory (April 25, 2013), I feel like I'm in Leonard's situation. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that SmackDown comes on tonight, I would probably sleep off the evening and that's a bad sign. it's never good when a person prefers to sleep more than living their life. I just feel like there's not much to live for. Especially when many of my interest are slowly going to shit (don't get me started on the sorry ass state of gaming and most gamer's frat boy mentality).
If people read this, oh well. If people don't, it's not like the Earth will move. I guess I'll go and fight off my urge to sleep.
Adios!
When I'm at home or even out and about, nobody ever takes the time to say "hello" to me. I have to initiate all the damn contact with my "friends". I know people have lives, go through tough times and can be busy but It would be nice for people to show that I matter to them. to top things off, let's not even get started how how ugly I feel. Sure, I'm married to a lovely woman and I care about her a lot but sometimes I get tired of knowing that so many people find her attractive and I never get a second look. I'm not looking around or anything but for fuck sake I don't want to feel ugly too.
My self esteem is completely shot. It's like when the Power Rangers blow up a monster and you know that muthafucka isn't coming back anymore. That's how low I feel. To the point of wanting to tell the world good bye. I'm tired of feeling like people think I'm stupid and just not worth talking to. I'm tired of people thinking that they can push and bully me around and I'm tired of feeling like I'm invisible. It's like my teenage years when people would ask me what's wrong and then walk away as I tell them. "Why the fuck did you ask in the first place if you were not going to listen?!"
People say that suicide is so horrible but damn, I'm in fucking agony and I cant take it anymore. There's never anyone around I can relate to. Sometimes I just want GBATemp in real life. I want people I can talk to and debate with about gaming, wrestling, politics and yes, even Power Rangers. I feel like such an oddball that it's driving me crazy. If anyone watched last night's episode of Big Bang Theory (April 25, 2013), I feel like I'm in Leonard's situation. Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that SmackDown comes on tonight, I would probably sleep off the evening and that's a bad sign. it's never good when a person prefers to sleep more than living their life. I just feel like there's not much to live for. Especially when many of my interest are slowly going to shit (don't get me started on the sorry ass state of gaming and most gamer's frat boy mentality).
If people read this, oh well. If people don't, it's not like the Earth will move. I guess I'll go and fight off my urge to sleep.
Adios!
