Not sure if this is how you would describe it in English but maybe you still get what I am going to.
I often have the Problem that even though I am not stupid and even though I am not bad at the Sport I am doing, I often have some kind of blockade that won't let me give it all or just won't let me accept myself that I am not that bad
After learning Metal Miller and completing the Aprenticeship with very good grades and skills noone else in my class and company had I was still allways wary and thought that I am no good and got scared to do mistakes,
Now again I changed to IT and my Teacher who was a Psychologist before told me he noticed that I seem to be scared of doing mistakes even though I seem to know a lot.
But I guess most of it is Subconsciously ...
Same with Sports, I am not that bad and currently I win my games but no matter how good or bad the opponent is I am allways playing until the last set (I play Table Tennis) and only win very close in the last set usually no matter what. Even lost some sets that were kind of impossible to lose only to get into the final set .... and I really don't do that on purpose.
So all together I feel like there is some kind of blockade within me that takes me down somehow with a lot of things I do.
I often have the Problem that even though I am not stupid and even though I am not bad at the Sport I am doing, I often have some kind of blockade that won't let me give it all or just won't let me accept myself that I am not that bad
After learning Metal Miller and completing the Aprenticeship with very good grades and skills noone else in my class and company had I was still allways wary and thought that I am no good and got scared to do mistakes,
Now again I changed to IT and my Teacher who was a Psychologist before told me he noticed that I seem to be scared of doing mistakes even though I seem to know a lot.
But I guess most of it is Subconsciously ...
Same with Sports, I am not that bad and currently I win my games but no matter how good or bad the opponent is I am allways playing until the last set (I play Table Tennis) and only win very close in the last set usually no matter what. Even lost some sets that were kind of impossible to lose only to get into the final set .... and I really don't do that on purpose.
So all together I feel like there is some kind of blockade within me that takes me down somehow with a lot of things I do.