Not available in any shops!!!

[Noctosphere]

I saw this guy on TV, he's naming some stuff that I'm sure would be revolutionary, but apparently, no one want to sell these things in their shops
Here's a list of these

Wood chimney
Turtleneck underwear
Transparent toilet paper
2x4 measuring 6x8
A portable giant
Silence detector
Water powder
Dust making machine
High heels sandals
Four-wheeled tricycle
Brick-made windows
Poison ivy handkerchief
Cactus plush
Edible padlock
Steam-powered can opener
Oil-fired wind turbine

I'm doing some publicity for him, so if someone wants to buy one of these, please contact me at the following email
[email protected]
And I'd need these informations
Name (first/last)
Birthdate
Maiden name of your mother (and of your mother's mother if possible, if you don't know, go ask your mother)
Social security code
credit card number (with expiration date and the numbers behind)
bank account number (with your bank's name too)
your civic address
your work schedule (if you don't live alone, I'd need the one of everyone who lives with you too)
And finally, I'd need your email account password.

Don't worry, we need these informations to be sure we really are talking to the right person and that you are not frauding and using someone else's identity

If you are not going to give us all of these information, don't even bother

Hurry! because if you contact us within the next 15 minutes, we are going to give you an offer that you cannot decline

 

[Veho]

 

[CoolMe]

Nocto, you sure seem to have too much time on your hands..

 

[slaphappygamer]

Definitely something on his hands.

 

[Noctosphere]

Wanna buy my computer?
You wonder if it's powerful? it can run any games, 4k, at least 240fps
What? Whats the graphic card? hum... err... it's, very, very powerful, it's a NASA exclusive graphic card... yea...
How much ram? pfff, why would you need ram... right...? ...what... what i say is stupid...? I understand why you would think that, but the NASA made something more powerful than ram...
I mean, come over, buy it, and give it a try, then give me some news

*guy comes over*
...
...
...what? the color? oh dont pay attention to the yellowish-white case, it's the kind of case they use at NASA...
...you want to see it closer, yea go ahead...
...as you can see this is a masterpiece of a mastermind of a master- HEY NO! DONT OPE-...
...
...no that's no dust, its... isolantion... yea any engineer at nasa will tell you to isolate your pc
...
...yea sure you can turn it on
...
...what? what about that fire coming out of the fan... it's normal, it means it's a very powerful pc...
...you never saw that? so what, every guy at the nasa will tell you that it's normal for a powerful pc
...what about the sound... it's because its a powerful pc...
...yea yea... i did say it was isolated...
...what about windows? it's win95? so what? every people at nasa-
hey where are you going?

 

[Veho]

Wanna buy a submarine?

 

[User154]

Wanna buy a submarine?

Does it come with duct tape or do I have to supply my own?

 

[Noctosphere]

Does it come with duct tape or do I have to supply my own?

I'd recommand flextape

 

[VinsCool]

Technically speaking a silence detector would simply be a noise detector that doesn't go off, so if you find no noise, you have found silence.

 

[SylverReZ]

Take the Sylveon pill, its gonna make you gay.

 

[Veho]

Does it come with duct tape or do I have to supply my own?

Depends on why you need it, structural reinforcement or, um, kinky games.

 

[AmandaRose]

Transparent toilet paper

Any Scottish member on the site who went to school in the 80s or 90s will know that transparent toilet paper existed. It was so thin you were guaranteed to stick your fingers right through it when wiping.

 

[Localhorst86]

High Heels Sandals are absolutely a thing people can buy in shops.

 

[User154]

Depends on why you need it, structural reinforcement or, um, kinky games.

I mean, in an ideal world both?