Arthur! Ready to Race (PSX) review

CupheadtheCritic

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I didn't want to review this, but the game rotted my braincells to the point of this.

For anybody who doesn't know, Arthur was an animated kid's series that ran from 1996 to 2022. It was also the only kids show aside from Sesame Street, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, and Bill Nye The Science Guy that anyone cares about. Which makes sense, given that Arthur was a Very Good outta Ten show that could tread minefields without stop. Discussing things like Autism and Cancer, things that a lot of shows try not to talk about. Then there's the PSX tie-in, Arthur! Ready to Drive under Influence. When I took a look at the full game, I was hoping for it to be EXACTLY like how the show was, but no...

ISSUE ONE: The story crashes it's own car. Like, Arthur and friends are talking about wanting smth to do, then a poster says "Elwood City Race Day." So they plan to make a soapbox car to help Arthur win. WHY DID THEY ALLOW TLC TO DEVELOP THIS GAME?!

ISSUE TWO: The animation and VA are ATROCIOUS. Arthur talks like a happy robot and his friends talk like the actors sniffed cocaine. The animation is more bogus. Like, in the intro cutscene, the poster doesn't fly off his lap when he stands up, and EVERYONE MOVES LIKE THEY SHIT THEIR PANTS. Also Arthur's eyes are inside his glasses.

ISSUE THREE: THE GAMEPLAY PROGRESS IS FUCKING STUPID: In the dream sequence, Arthur asks Bionic Bunny for a better car. WHY?! YOUR FRIENDS LIKED THAT CAR!!!

ISSUE FOUR: THE GAMEPLAY. It's TOO DAMN EASY. The only way to- actually, there isn't a way to lose.

ISSUE FIVE: The ending. IT'S SO BAD, IT IMPLIES THAT ARTHUR WAS THE ONLY ONE RACING!!!

ISSUE SIX: FALSE ADVERTISING. The case is full of so much lies I'm not even sure if anyone actually played it.
 
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r1vver

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I don't know what they teach you in schools nowadays, but it's anything but 'review'.
And even words like 'FUCKING STUPID' won't make it a 'review'. Even written in caps.
 
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hippy dave

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MFW OP posts another "review"
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