The screenshot you have linked now is grammatically better. However I'll give some examples from your previous texts:
why he been banned -> why he has been banned
Like he says on he thread -> Like he says on his thread
the translation take many time,month or year to finish -> the translation will take a lot of time, several months or even years to finish
Sorry all, even I make table file -> Sorry all, even if I make table file
I try finish what I can -> I will try finishing what I can
Glad to see rich person in here -> good to see someone rich here
Does girl really need love -> Do girls really need love
school to take care -> school to take care of
I see small mistakes happening very often. Not because of literal translation but wrong inflection or tense used.
This criticism is not about me trying to demotivate you, I'd like to see this translation to be a success. If you spend a lot of time and effort doing this and after release you will get negative feedback, I'm sure you would be very disappointed.