How it is...

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godreborn

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I'm dug in here as well, but I don't think anyone should be fucked. I don't think this should be the way things are. I want to be honest.
 

godreborn

Welcome to the Machine
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Chary! Oh Chary!
Hit me baby one more time with your bat!
Say what you will, but Chary means nothing to me. Before you judge, read what I said to her in my last message. People have misinterpreted this. I want nothing to do with her.
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this is my exact message. if she's too stupid to read it,, that's on her:


hello. I hope you are doing well. I heard that you've been taking care of your dad. I hope he's doing okay too. I hope I didn't make you mad, especially for saying that I had a crush on you. I wasn't sure if you thought I was some sort of creep or I had embarrassed you or something. the truth is, after what happened with LadyDana, where she manipulated me, told her boyfriend everything we talked about, then posted our messages on their message board for everyone to laugh at me, I don't think I want a relationship like that anymore, possibly for the rest of my life. after what happened there, it's really crushed my heart to the point where I don't want to feel anymore. when my dogs passed away in 2019, I couldn't muster more than a few tears for each of them. when I look back, I feel so hurt by it, because when my first dog passed in 2004, I balled. I think I told you about Harley especially, that she was my dog. they were my two best friends, but Harley was always with me. sometimes I think that her spirit is in my room, in her usual spot, sleeping or hiding from thunderstorms or the oven timer. I've been hurting for so long by this whole ordeal that I get so agitated sometimes. I think about what's happened, and it makes me very upset. that's why I sometimes think about quitting all this stuff. I know I need to move on, but it's very difficult when this has been a part of my life for about 10-12 years. after what happened with LadyDana, I probably should've quit right there, but I was an idiot and didn't. however, if I had quit, I wouldn't have met all of you as this happened in 2013 I believe. I'm not sure what to do at this point, which is part of the reason I'm reaching out to you. I'm hurting inside, and I think something's gotta give.


I couldn't care less about how she feels about me.
 
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