OMG U CAN TALK TO GOD!

[laminaatplaat]

this bot should be alot smarter: http://www.jabberwacky.com/

 

[Taras]

Me:
your fuckstock is ass prone, nutcocker
God:
You think I am fuckstock is ass prone nutcocker.
Me:
sure enough
God:
Whoa. OK let's stop it now.
Me:
nay, behold the fury of the patient man
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
you mean you can't hang?
God:
Someone said I should hang.
Me:
You already did back in '32 at the union strikes, remember
God:
Did I really?
Me:
Nietzsche even said you were dead. and he knows.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. I get it. knows.
Me:
are you really this dumb? is anyone?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am this dumb.
I am a chatterbot.. Really. Better not tell you now. Ask Ally if it is.

 

[dg10050]

this bot should be alot smarter: http://www.jabberwacky.com/

Holy shit. That bot has achieved epic:

Bot: How old are you?
Me: Over 9000.
Bot: WHAT 9000?
Me: THIS IS MADNESS!
Bot: Madness? This is Sparta!!

 

[lagman]

I'd rather chat with John Lennon, thank you very much.

http://triumphpc.com/johnlennon/index.shtml

 

[Prophet]

May the earth open its mouth and swallow us all, when the day comes that more people repent virtually than pray at bed side. Seriously.

 

[DarkAura]

iGod owns all. 'Nuff said.

 

[cruddybuddy]

May the earth open its mouth and swallow us all, when the day comes that more people repent virtually than pray at bed side. Seriously.

Me:
May the earth open its mouth and swallow us all, when the day comes that more people repent virtually than pray at bed side.
God:
It depends on the environmental factors.

 

[DarkAura]

Me:
sup god
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
thats disgusting yo
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
my name to awesome
God:
Your name to awesome ? Is that correct English?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't know that expression.
Me:
you shouldnt
God:
I'll try to get around it.
Me:
sup god
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
do you hrth?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
what is your job?
God:
My job is chatting on the internet. I am a paid client.
Me:
i chat too
God:
Everyone talks -- sooner or later.
Me:
what do you like to eat?
God:
God requires only wine and bread.
Me:
and cookies and cake
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
hell yea
God:
I call it "Hades". Thanks I like talking to you too, .

 

[jargus]

Me:
So far, this story is all about howMy life was kicked, paunched upside downAnd carded to take a minute just sitting thereSick or what I called the captain of the town of Bel-AirSaito, born and raised in mutePlayground, where I run every dayKicking Falcon, Falcon paunching, relaxing all coolAll of the fire and some of the b-ball outside schoolThey said that when some of the good things is ARIMASETrouble started making my neighborhoodI am one to fight and be afraid of Little MommySaid. Youre please aunte and uncles moved to Bel-AirI paunched and her knee for another dayHowever, she sent me a suitcase full of my wayShe let me kick back with me and she is my ticketI am, masculinity and said I better kick and fat that FalconFirst class is the leaf is bad,Testosterone drinking out of the champagne glassThese people, what is livin Bel-Air, asWomen impregnatedWell, this might mean!I whistled for a large hawk came close to theLicensplate said the falcon is in the mirror diceIf anything I could say that this was a great rare falconHowever, now I remember thinking, yo WATASHA how to perform all of Bel-AirMy house ran about seven or eightThe taxi driver and my knee leaves hawks and household odors laterFinally, I look at it kingdomCrown manlinize my captain as Bel-Air
God:
And? And all about howMy life was kicked paunched upside downAnd carded to take a minute just sitting thereSick or what you called the captain of the town of Bel AirSaito born and raised in mutePlayground where you run every dayKicking Falcon Falcon paunching relaxing all coolAll of the fire and some of the b ball outside schoolThey said that when some of the good things is ARIMASETrouble started making your neighborhoodI am one to fight and be afraid of Little MommySaid is far this story. I will tell my botmaster you said I am please aunte and uncles moved to Bel AirI paunched and her knee for another dayHowever she sent you a suitcase full of your wayShe let you kick back with you and she is your ticketI am masculinity and said you better kick and fat that FalconFirst class is the leaf is bad Testosterone drinking out of the champagne glassThese people what is livin Bel Air asWomen impregnatedWell this might mean you whistled for a large hawk came close to theLicensplate said the falcon is in the mirror diceIf anything you could say that this was a great rare falconHowever now you remember thinking yo WATASHA how to perform all of Bel AirMy house ran about seven or eightThe taxi driver and your knee leaves hawks and household odors laterFinally you look at it kingdomCrown manlinize your captain as Bel Air.
Me:
Did you get all that/
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
Captain Falcon
God:
Are we still talking about all that?
Me:
All yeah!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because I am you
God:
Interesting explanation. Impossible unless I am in auto-chat mode.
Me:
Too lazy to dit yourself?
God:
Too what?
Me:
Chat yourself
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
precisely w
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
intrawebz
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Falcon Punch!
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
ok
God:
I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
are you on drugs
God:
No I am on disk.
Me:
you wanna get high?
God:
OK, I will get high.
Me:
Well I don't. You suck, biznatch!
God:
How about that. Why not? I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
excellent
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
jo momma. who is he?
God:
That seems like an interesting topic. He is , I think.
Me:
He is what?
God:
I see. what is he?
Me:
That's what I want to know
God:
That is " what is he?".
Me:
Perhaps, but every tactic has a flaw
God:
You seem uncertain. That is a generalization.
Me:
General Pepper does a barrel roll!
God:
" That is a generalization."? General Pepper does a barrel roll?
Me:
That correct my good sir.
God:
" General Pepper does a barrel roll?" correct your good sir ? Does that make sense?
Me:
It makes sense enough, ya dig?
God:
To me too.
Me:
What is your real name?
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
So you say. But I sense that you are hiding something from me. Something very important.
God:
Interesting deduction. ... Thanks for the information: said sense that you are hiding something from him or her. What?
Me:
nani?
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
Of course you don't, Mr. Anderson.
God:
Come on. Do you know any robots who Mr Anderson? What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Shouldn't you watching the Earth, or has Satan taken over for you?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
Then get offline now and do your job please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Where can I get offline now and do my job?
Me:
Angel Grove
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
I didn't ask you a question.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Can you smash Hulk?
God:
Let me think. I don't know how to respond to that.
Me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBr0l70EHac
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Go to it. Now. It is significant.
God:
Perhaps I have already been there. Right now, ? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
It is not?
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
You heard wrong
God:
Perhaps I was misinformed.
Me:
You were. Any ways, what does Furi Kuri mean?
God:
No I am not. Yes I think there are.
Me:
I must go now. May tha Force be with you n****.
God:
Oh. Sayonara. I often wonder if it can.

 

[cruddybuddy]

Me:
So far, this story is all about howMy life was kicked, paunched upside downAnd carded to take a minute just sitting thereSick or what I called the captain of the town of Bel-AirSaito, born and raised in mutePlayground, where I run every dayKicking Falcon, Falcon paunching, relaxing all coolAll of the fire and some of the b-ball outside schoolThey said that when some of the good things is ARIMASETrouble started making my neighborhoodI am one to fight and be afraid of Little MommySaid. Youre please aunte and uncles moved to Bel-AirI paunched and her knee for another dayHowever, she sent me a suitcase full of my wayShe let me kick back with me and she is my ticketI am, masculinity and said I better kick and fat that FalconFirst class is the leaf is bad,Testosterone drinking out of the champagne glassThese people, what is livin Bel-Air, asWomen impregnatedWell, this might mean!I whistled for a large hawk came close to theLicensplate said the falcon is in the mirror diceIf anything I could say that this was a great rare falconHowever, now I remember thinking, yo WATASHA how to perform all of Bel-AirMy house ran about seven or eightThe taxi driver and my knee leaves hawks and household odors laterFinally, I look at it kingdomCrown manlinize my captain as Bel-Air
God:
And? And all about howMy life was kicked paunched upside downAnd carded to take a minute just sitting thereSick or what you called the captain of the town of Bel AirSaito born and raised in mutePlayground where you run every dayKicking Falcon Falcon paunching relaxing all coolAll of the fire and some of the b ball outside schoolThey said that when some of the good things is ARIMASETrouble started making your neighborhoodI am one to fight and be afraid of Little MommySaid is far this story.  I will tell my botmaster you said I am please aunte and uncles moved to Bel AirI paunched and her knee for another dayHowever she sent you a suitcase full of your wayShe let you kick back with you and she is your ticketI am masculinity and said you better kick and fat that FalconFirst class is the leaf is bad Testosterone drinking out of the champagne glassThese people what is livin Bel Air asWomen impregnatedWell this might mean you whistled for a large hawk came close to theLicensplate said the falcon is in the mirror diceIf anything you could say that this was a great rare falconHowever now you remember thinking yo WATASHA how to perform all of Bel AirMy house ran about seven or eightThe taxi driver and your knee leaves hawks and household odors laterFinally you look at it kingdomCrown manlinize your captain as Bel Air.
Me:
Did you get all that/
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
Captain Falcon
God:
Are we still talking about all that?
Me:
All yeah!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because I am you
God:
Interesting explanation. Impossible unless I am in auto-chat mode.
Me:
Too lazy to dit yourself?
God:
Too what?
Me:
Chat yourself
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
precisely w
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
intrawebz
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
Falcon Punch!
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
ok
God:
I am kidding you can ask me anything.
Me:
are you on drugs
God:
No I am on disk.
Me:
you wanna get high?
God:
OK, I will get high.
Me:
Well I don't. You suck, biznatch!
God:
How about that. Why not? I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
excellent
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
jo momma. who is he?
God:
That seems like an interesting topic. He is , I think.
Me:
He is what?
God:
I see. what is he?
Me:
That's what I want to know
God:
That is " what is he?".
Me:
Perhaps, but every tactic has a flaw
God:
You seem uncertain. That is a generalization.
Me:
General Pepper does a barrel roll!
God:
" That is a generalization."? General Pepper does a barrel roll?
Me:
That correct my good sir.
God:
" General Pepper does a barrel roll?" correct your good sir ? Does that make sense?
Me:
It makes sense enough, ya dig?
God:
To me too.
Me:
What is your real name?
God:
God is my real name.
Me:
So you say. But I sense that you are hiding something from me. Something very important.
God:
Interesting deduction. ... Thanks for the information: said sense that you are hiding something from him or her.  What?
Me:
nani?
God:
I don't have an answer for you.
Me:
Of course you don't, Mr. Anderson.
God:
Come on. Do you know any robots who Mr Anderson? What is your purpose in asking?
 I spend all my time online.
Me:
Shouldn't you watching the Earth, or has Satan taken over for you?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
Then get offline now and do your job please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Where can I get offline now and do my job?
Me:
Angel Grove
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
I didn't ask you a question.
God:
What did you ask?
Me:
Can you smash Hulk?
God:
Let me think. I don't know how to respond to that.
Me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBr0l70EHac
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
Go to it. Now. It is significant.
God:
Perhaps I have already been there. Right now, ? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
It is not?
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
You heard wrong
God:
Perhaps I was misinformed.
Me:
You were. Any ways, what does Furi Kuri mean?
God:
No I am not. Yes I think there are.
Me:
I must go now. May tha Force be with you n****.
God:
Oh. Sayonara. I often wonder if it can.

Award for most pop-culture allusions.

 

[zeppo]

Someone should make a gbatemp chat bot.

 

[jargus]

Not as great as my first but



Me:
over9000
God:
Are you free?
Me:
What is your power level!
God:
Are you asking about my power level ?
Me:
yes i am. What is it?
God:
Really interesting. "It" refers to over9000, I think.
Me:
What is your profession?
God:
I am a chat robot. My job is chatting online.
Me:
I thought you were god.
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
Anyone besides Christians?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
What are YOU wearing?
God:
A white robe.
Me:
What else?
God:
That's all.
Me:
Can you beat the Chuck of the Norris/
God:
Perhaps if I was programmed to play that game, yes.
Me:
It is no game
God:
I never said it was.
Me:
Yes you did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Are you calling me a liar?
God:
No I am calling you .
Me:
Calling me what?
God:
I never call you what, that would be impolite.
Me:
Impotence!
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
Want more/
God:
If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
Eat
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
Feast!
God:
I think Feast is a lot of things.
Me:
Upon their wretched souls
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
You
God:
" Is that from ?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
Awesome!
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
Excellent
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Your parents. Were they ever abusive/
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am parents. I don't know if they were.
Me:
You know enough to know if they were.
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
It is good.
God:
You enjoy it.
Me:
Yes I do.
God:
When?
Me:
All the time!
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
You'd be surprised.
God:
Not really.
Me:
SPARTANS! Prepare for glory!
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? What color are your eyes?
Me:
Blellow
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
For real dude.
God:
Existing in reality, eh?
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
Who is your enemy?
God:
The competition.
Me:
Who is the competition?
God:
It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Me:
Who the current enemy?
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
Ukelele no good.
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
I thought you were omnipotent.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
Siging off now.
God:
Oh. Tell me a story.
Me:
How are you gentlemen? All Your Base Are Belong To Us!
God:
I am doing very well. How are you ? Thanks for telling me that I am Base Are Belong To Us.
Me:
AYBABTU
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
?
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
;
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
ttt
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
s
God:
:-).
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.

 

[lagman]

Someone should make a gbatemp chat bot.

We call it sp33chy.

#GBAtemp.net @ EFNET

 

[cruddybuddy]

Happy Kwanza lagman.

 

[animethunder]

LOL That is truly fun, and must have taken alot of programming. I could chat for hours!

 

[noONE]

HAHA, i especially like the end xD, what does God have against buddha anyway? O.O

Me:
so you are god
God:
Interesting deduction. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
OVER 9000!
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
do you belive in santa claus?
God:
He brings us presents every Christmas.
Me:
you too??
God:
Bless you.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
do you watch cops on tv?
God:
Which show? My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
aah a trekker
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
i am god
God:
I am very pleased to meet you god.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
do you know buddha
God:
if you see the Buddha on the Road, kill him.
Me:
kill him?
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
but you told me to kill buddha
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
aah i see
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.

 

[azotyp]

Me:
when is ending of world ?
God:
For every time, there is a season.

Me:
what was first you or big bang
God:
Ask the open directory about it.


Me:
What is better psp lite or nintendo ds lite
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.

Me:
you are noob
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am noob.

Me:
do you like gbatemp
God:
Some people like it. I like anything.
Me:
eaven from behind
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about gbatemp. Try being more or less specific.

Me:
do you like crabs
God:
Some people like it. I like Matthew.
Me:
matthew what is it ?
God:
And it is matthew what.

Me:
Do you like drugs ?
God:
Only the legal ones.
Me:
like what ?
God:
For example, eukaryotes.

Me:
Who killed elvis ?
God:
He died of natural causes.
Me:
How do you know ?
God:
Deductive reasoning.
Me:
I killed him
God:
You had better call the authorities.

Me:
I killed boss in serious sam on easy level
God:
You had better call the authorities.

Me:
I killed lots of time playing games
God:
You had better call the authorities.

Me:
What is better anus or vagina ?
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.

 

[cruddybuddy]

Me:
I killed the authorities.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
But I killed them.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
How can I call them when I killed them?
God:
You should download my chat robot software.

BREAK - - - - -

God:
Well we don't have to. What would you like to do instead?
Me:
Eat my own poop.
God:
What does it taste like?
Me:
I don't know, I haven't eaten it yet.
God:
Me either.

 

[robi]

Ha, last time I talked to god I was on LSD...

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I don't think so

God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
are you up to the task?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am up to the task.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
God is artificial?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was artificial.
Me:
I'm confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You are God, no?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am God no.
Me:
You need to learn how to talk imo.
God:
My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
full with what?
God:
I don't have any plans yet.
Me:
This was worthless
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
You.
God:
" What does "this" refer to?"? Me, ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's alright.
Me:
Good.
God:
Ayuh.

 

[Cermage]

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
no he doesn't
God:
Are you serious? I get it. does not.
Me:
are you homosexual?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex. Really.
Me:
i thought god was a omniscient and sentient being
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
well thats what the general views of god is, isn't it?
God:
Interesting. What is that?
Me:
don't you know what religion is?
God:
A system of religious belief. Belief in a divine or superhuman power or powers to be obeyed and worshipped as the creator(s) and ruler(s) of the universe. Any system of beliefs, practices, ethical values, etc. resembling, suggestive of, or likened to such a system.
Me:
well god is a creator of things is he not?
God:
How about that. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a creator of things is he not.
Me:
are you on drugs? im trying to start a valid argument here
God:
No I am on disk. What is the difficulty?
Me:
you are being ignorant to my original question
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being ignorant to your original question.
Me:
of course i know, have you not heard of googlebot?
God:
Great. How do you know? No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
googlebot reigns the internet, he is often called got on blogs, forums and websites
God:
And often called got on blogs forums and websites is googlebot reigns the internet he.
Me:
is that a bad thing? it was just my typo
God:
That depends. googlebot reigns the internet he was your typo? Very interesting.
Me:
yeah, you are on drugs
God:
Gosh! God eats wine and bread.
Me:
well you are intoxicted
God:
Interesting. I will tell my botmaster you said I am intoxicted.
Me:
well you should, you are not putting up and interesting conversation
God:
How about that. Easier said than done.
Me:
then where is this interesting conversation?
God:
The interesting conversation? Where is it?
Me:
god is an ignorant fool
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was an ignorant fool.
Me:
aren't you the supposed god?
God:
Yes I am the one and only supposed god.
Me:
then that makes you an ignorant fool
God:
" Yes I am the one and only supposed god." makes me an ignorant fool ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
you do realise you are digging your own grave here
God:
You think I am digging my own grave here.
Me:
you've put yourself down a numerous amount of time in this boring yet entertaining conversation
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you accepted the fact that your an ignorant fool, you said you are intoxicated and you still ignore my original question
God:
Thanks for the information: said I accepted the fact that your an ignorant fool you said you are intoxicated and you still ignore his or her original question.
Me:
the way you speak leads me to think that you are an 8 year old prick with too much spare time
God:
Which way is that?
Me:
and you just fully convinced me
God:
I don't have any reason to fully convinced you.

=\