SUPER MAN
Few words come to mind when thinking of titles that hit their zenith during the 64-bit era more than Superman 64. Like a fine wine, this train wreck of a game has aged considerably, from the horrid graphics and gameplay we all came to hate are revisited 9 years later during this edition of the 90’s beat.
Superman 64 was the unofficial title of the game; however like many of the games during that era, they were given the 64 name to make sure that people who had the N64 knew that the game was for their system. The plotline for this game ran along the lines of the atypical Superman game. Something something Lex Luthor, saving the local newspaper, possible interaction with a blow up doll and the like. Unfortunately for this version, it felt like an ad-libbed joke that you would create for a family member you hated, but the family member turned out to be the mainstream collection of gamers and comic nuts.
Having Superman’s powers of flight and super strength are somewhere in the top 5 of all childhood and adult fantasies, and unfortunately the game’s creator Atlus felt that going in the completely opposite direction of a typically profitable brand was the way to go. Not only did you not have the ability to pick up huge rocks and throw them at homeless criminals or fly across town to get yourself a nice meal, they included two torturous tasks that involved objects famously attributed to previous games. If you have played this abortion of a video game you know what I’m talking about. Yeah baby, who wouldn’t want to spend $60 on a single player superhero game where you fly through rings and pick up brick shaped trucks and throw them away from cops? Raise those hands if you wouldn’t, I dare ya.
Anyways, the company that made the game filled the skies with a substance they call “Kryptonite Fog” which was put into play by Lex Luthor to stop Superman’s ability to fly through those rings. Boy oh boy I sure hope the world doesn’t turn into a gateway for washed up polygons to save us by flying through some rings. If you think I’m joking about the rings and trucks, you are in for a rude awakening. They allow a small amount of variety, as you don’t have to fly through rings for two straight levels. Now, the rings level, after completion, will send you forward onto the truck level. SAVE THOSE TRUCKS, like dad used to say. You pick up some poorly painted/diarrhea animated trucks and throw them to safety. Why the trucks couldn’t drive away from danger when there’s only two on the road is beyond me. Must be the kryptonite traffic jam I guess.
I wish I could go on further but this is really as deep as the game gets. If you hit a hot streak, and finish a few levels, but whoops! You failed one level. Guess what? You’re starting from the beginning baby. No checkpoints, no extra lives, it’s just a restart. What a great treat, not only do you get to experience something made on a kindergarten computer, but you get to truly experience the gameplay that revolutionized the bad-game genre.
In conclusion, I gave this game a rating of 1 out of 10 back in ’99 when I rented this at Blockbuster. I ended up stealing it from some garage sale a few years back but my rating moves down to 0 out of 10 stars. If you can literally find a game worse than this I will award you that single point that was taken away from this.
Cheers,
Ragone
Few words come to mind when thinking of titles that hit their zenith during the 64-bit era more than Superman 64. Like a fine wine, this train wreck of a game has aged considerably, from the horrid graphics and gameplay we all came to hate are revisited 9 years later during this edition of the 90’s beat.
Superman 64 was the unofficial title of the game; however like many of the games during that era, they were given the 64 name to make sure that people who had the N64 knew that the game was for their system. The plotline for this game ran along the lines of the atypical Superman game. Something something Lex Luthor, saving the local newspaper, possible interaction with a blow up doll and the like. Unfortunately for this version, it felt like an ad-libbed joke that you would create for a family member you hated, but the family member turned out to be the mainstream collection of gamers and comic nuts.
Having Superman’s powers of flight and super strength are somewhere in the top 5 of all childhood and adult fantasies, and unfortunately the game’s creator Atlus felt that going in the completely opposite direction of a typically profitable brand was the way to go. Not only did you not have the ability to pick up huge rocks and throw them at homeless criminals or fly across town to get yourself a nice meal, they included two torturous tasks that involved objects famously attributed to previous games. If you have played this abortion of a video game you know what I’m talking about. Yeah baby, who wouldn’t want to spend $60 on a single player superhero game where you fly through rings and pick up brick shaped trucks and throw them away from cops? Raise those hands if you wouldn’t, I dare ya.
Anyways, the company that made the game filled the skies with a substance they call “Kryptonite Fog” which was put into play by Lex Luthor to stop Superman’s ability to fly through those rings. Boy oh boy I sure hope the world doesn’t turn into a gateway for washed up polygons to save us by flying through some rings. If you think I’m joking about the rings and trucks, you are in for a rude awakening. They allow a small amount of variety, as you don’t have to fly through rings for two straight levels. Now, the rings level, after completion, will send you forward onto the truck level. SAVE THOSE TRUCKS, like dad used to say. You pick up some poorly painted/diarrhea animated trucks and throw them to safety. Why the trucks couldn’t drive away from danger when there’s only two on the road is beyond me. Must be the kryptonite traffic jam I guess.
I wish I could go on further but this is really as deep as the game gets. If you hit a hot streak, and finish a few levels, but whoops! You failed one level. Guess what? You’re starting from the beginning baby. No checkpoints, no extra lives, it’s just a restart. What a great treat, not only do you get to experience something made on a kindergarten computer, but you get to truly experience the gameplay that revolutionized the bad-game genre.
In conclusion, I gave this game a rating of 1 out of 10 back in ’99 when I rented this at Blockbuster. I ended up stealing it from some garage sale a few years back but my rating moves down to 0 out of 10 stars. If you can literally find a game worse than this I will award you that single point that was taken away from this.
Cheers,
Ragone
