Boutta quit school

@PetitMagique I'll find a way. The truth is that I absolutely love studying and I like my teachers and subjects. The people and the pressure are the problems, those things are what I want to avoid.
If I could get homeschooled or even I don't know, private classes, I'd be a lot happier, but that's kind of impossible.

I'll be talking to my psychologist tomorrow, I'll explain everything to her and see if she can find a better solution.

All I know is that I'm not going to school today, I'm feeling too nervous... I don't want to torture myself any longer.

I wish you all the best, mate.

well, you can take the test to graduate but what is the fun in that. if you enjoy classes then keep at it. Not everyone fits in socially at school, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just be and do what makes you happy, don't worry about the future so much, its not here yet. Thinking about it to much might lower your chance of success. Just live in the now and be optimistic, im sure good things will come. And remember your not alone. Well i'll be around, PM me if you want,

@azoreseuropa No, college is nothing like High School. The people are easier to get along with. If you don't want to talk to anyone you don't have to. If you do then the people are friendly.

Just out of curiosity, what did your friend major in? If you major in any of the S.T.E.M. stuff you should be fine.

You think you have it hard in high school? My dear friend, don't leave so early. Real life is even worse. It's like what you are currently living, but you also have to pay the rents, and endure terrible coworkers. Life is cruel, and you gotta bear with it.

Don't leave high school, you are making a big mistake.
College is nothing like high school, nothing. In college you can easily find many types of people, find a group you belong to.
High school is shite, it was shite for lots of people.

You need to really get some confidence, talk to new people, find those out. At least find 1-2 friends you can click with.
If bullying is a big problem, just ask to move school. That would be the best move you can do.

In terms of those people fucking with you, act with confidence, fake confidence even if you have to. Like the way you write on temp is pretty confident, do the same IRL. It is easy, once you start sticking up for yourself, training at the gym/martial arts, just be cool with people, don't take shit. Then everyone literally falls in your hands. If I knew this before, I would've been king of high school.

All i can tell you , with all the honesty and kindness that i can offer is that , the cliche ''High School depressive phase'' always goes away with time.

I was bullied in High School , but i never gave up. I acknowledge is difficult , you feel powerless and with apathy in regards of what you do or are gonna do , but it certainly gets better a long the way.

Even as the victim i used to be , i would still think dropping my education just because people and other issues would be the most stupid desicion in my life. Why let them win? Why let your problems get over you and not you get over them?

Also i certainly can agree , now that i finished college , that High School was a piece of cake in comparision to an adult life.

Don't get negativity overcome you , it never is the way. Giving up is never the answer , i should know and i'm grateful i never did.

@:-infern: There's no one I can click with, I've already tried.
I study at night and there are very few students, so I can say I already kind of know how everyone is like. They are all the same, they all know each other and they all couldn't give 2 shits about me. If I tried to fit in, I'd be ridiculed.

@SWRosetta I know this sounds dumb, but I feel like my situation is different.
I've already heard that a lot, but I just can't relate to other people. I have problems, mental health issues, most people don't.
I know that this is the cause of that, and that makes me different. I don't want to be different, but I am accepting who I am and that's why I want to get better. By continuing HS, I'll never get better, it's the biggest reason why I'm like this right now.
I wish I could go out too, maybe walk around and find an outdoor hobby, but school chops away way too much time from me. The only thing I do besides is use the PC and play games.

My life is so uninteresting that my biggest source of fun right now has been tweaking my Linux setup and trying out different distros... That's all I've been doing because I don't have time for anything else.
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I'll go to school today, and I'll see what happens...
This might be my very last day at high school.

Day after day, the supplementary exams seem more and more appealing than having to deal with this bunch of bullshit in the middle of my teenage life.

And know what's my biggest fear? Sounding like an edgy teenager going through a phase, even though that's clearly the case.

Thanks everyone, I'll keep shit updated, not that anyone cares, but I do.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
I hope you can move forward and get better.

Thank you very much.
I will.

Try night classes.

I learned very on that college life was not for me. However once I switched to night classes things were so much better. You might also want to do a little traveling. (it's a lot cheaper then most think if you do local and in your car..if you have one or go by bus somewhere.)

@CallmeBerto Been on night classes for over 5 months now. I must admit that it really is a whole lot better than day classes and I reccommend it to everyone. You have more energy and can actually sleep well.

As long you know where you're going and you're confident about it, there is nothing that can stop you, even schools.

I know this isn't much comfort, but I suppose I went through something similar during my time in school.
I lost my father early in my life, when I was around 5 years old, and grew up in a rather depressive environment. My mother was always overworked and trying to cope with her own depression so she never had much time for me either. As a result, I ended up turning into a rather unstable child.

I was heavily bullied during most of my middle school years, and I was the kind who would always bottle everything up and never say a word to anyone, until i hit my boiling point and exploded. I'd turn pretty violent during my outbursts and do things that could've had terrible outcomes, like chasing after and beating down the bullies with the classroom's chairs, which were made of wood and iron. I'd obviously get in a lot of trouble with the school due to my reactions, and I also started building up a reputation with the other students of being straight up crazy. Looking back on it, I can't really fault the others for thinking that of me.

As the years passed, I learned to better control my anger and to use the people's perception of me as a shield. I'd deliberately do things to intimidate them and pass myself off as dangerous and deranged, as a way of protecting myself from them. For the most part, it worked. Almost everyone would stay away from me due to my notoriety, as a result however, my life in school became one of extreme isolation. Essentially no one would approach me, and I'd turn away the ones who did out of instinct, because I would rather be alone than let someone get close to me and possibly hurt me. My life turned into one of wallowing in my own loneliness and depression, especially once the few remaining friends I had all transferred to other schools or moved to different states. This situation reached it's peak on my first year of high school, when I had no remaining friends in the entire school, and in one particular month of that year, life decided it was time to turn things up to eleven: my mother had a stroke overnight.

My mother had been going through a lot of stress in her job, and she made use of copious amounts of high grade painkillers to deal with terrible chronic headaches that she had since she was a child. She had been leading a very unhealthy lifestyle and one day, it all caught up to her. She had a stroke while she was sleeping, and when she woke up half of her face was drooping and she was essentially unable to speak. We had been going through economically tough times, so we had no health insurance and had to rely on public health services (which are pretty bad, as you should know). She ended up staying in a public hospital's ICU for two months.
It was during this period that I felt truly alone. While my mother had always been a rather busy person, I always got along extremely well with her and used to talk to her frequently when she had time. Whenever I felt lonely, I could always talk to her and she'd be there for me. Except now she wasn't. There was no one waiting for me in my house, except for my older brother who had grown very distant from us over the years. I lived every day during this period in depression and fear that I might wake up to the news that my mother was no longer, and I had no one to rely on. No one to talk to. My willing isolation had come back to bite me, in this moment when I yearned for any form of company to help take my mind off things, I had no one. Yet life didn't stop, I had no choice but to continue moving forward.

My mother eventually recovered, but this incident left me with emotional scars that would last for quite some time.

It wasn't until my 2nd year of high school that my outlook on life started to improve, when a certain group of people transferred into my class from other schools. One such person decided that for whatever reason, he was going to become my friend. He insisted on trying to talk to me even though I continued to isolate myself in my shell, pushing away all who approached me. Eventually, he got through to me and we became friends. It was some time after this happened that I realized: I had been running away. Instead of facing my problems, I ran away to protect myself. I instinctively pushed away everyone around me because I was afraid of being hurt any further. Meeting this new friend made me realize that I couldn't keep living like this, that I couldn't keep isolating myself from society out of fear of what it might do to me, that I had to break out of my shell if i wanted to win my losing battle against depression, and that I had to face whatever came at me head on, lest it escalate into something far worse.

Of course, doing all that isn't easy, I'm still working on it myself. But the take away here is that you shouldn't run from your problems. A problem that you run away from today will come back to haunt you tomorrow with a vengeance.

And remember, even in the longest and darkest nights, dawn will always come. You just can't give up.
....This sure ended up being longer than I intended.