Discussion about my Grandparents...

Yeah, my grandparents think that they know everything. They think that we should be like they were in the late 60's early to mid 70's. My grandma was cooking and changing baby diapers at the age of 8, because her mom was a major alcoholic. So she learned to be "a responsible adult" early on in life. I, on the other hand, am not changing diapers and cooking.

I am 15 so I should be hanging out with friends. Walking around town with friends. Being involved in stuff I want to be involved in at school. But no, I can't hang out with friends because my friends are "bad influences". I can't be involved in the things I want to do at school, because they "won't teach you anything that will help you in life". I can see where they are coming from... but seriously. I literally have no say so in my life. It's just do this, do that, you didn't get this done so no supper for you.

(But here's the thing... my friends rarely ever get in trouble at school. They are straight A students. They are friendly with everyone. They are literally the best people to have as friends. But no... they are "bad influences")

And here's something that happened. My little brother (age 12) stepped up and said that when we lived at our aunt's house, we got a small allowance for doing chores. My grandma got all mad and said "well you guys have a roof over your heads, clothes on your backs, and food to eat. why should we pay you?" So, that night, my grandma went and emptied our bank accounts and instead of giving us supper, she put a quarter in each of our spots at the table and told us to go to bed. I have a brother and a sister, so that is 3 bank accounts emptied, each with around $50, and all we got were quarters. I guess it makes sense, because she put the $50 in each... but still. WTF.

They think I am depressed and suicidal because of the people I hang out with and the music I listen to... but in all actuality, they can't seem to comprehend the fact that it might be themselves that are making me be this way. I can't take the mental and emotional stress and abuse that they put me through everyday. And then, my grandma comes home from work one day and tells me to get in the truck. I am thinking that maybe I have some doctors appointment I didn't know about... no... she takes me to a counselor. I had no fucking clue that she was taking me here. She said that she didn't tell me, because she didn't want me to "make up answers on the way".

My grandparents say, "Oh, you think you have it hard, back when we were kids we got beat by our parents." That is literally the only thing they don't do. Well... every once in a while my sister gets in trouble and my grandma takes a belt or a wooden spatula and spanks her bare behind. From what I heard, that is illegal... but according to them, it isn't because God allows it. Well you know what... that's another thing. God this, God that... I mean, I try to be a Christian, but sometimes it's hard. Last night, my grandma came upstairs and started to yell at my sister, "God says to the CHILDREN to obey their parents!" "He tells the PARENTS to give their children what they need to be successful. We do that, but you don't obey!" Ummm.... that's bullshit.

I do things that they tell me to do ALL THE TIME. Yet, they don't give me what I need to be successful. I needed a cheap digital camera for biology... but no. I am going to fail this project because they wouldn't let me get a camera. I have the money. I have $40. That should be enough to get a fucking camera. Or even a little cheap smart phone that has a camera... but no... my grandma said "If you need pictures for this scavenger hunt for biology, give me the list and I will take the pictures" Umm... no that's not how this works AT ALL. This is a learning experience for me... so I need to take the pictures... I guess that's a wonderful way to start the school year. Failing my first assignment that I had a whole week to work on.... Oh well...

(I admit there is a reason as to why they don't let me have a camera. Let's just say that I had some "bad stuff" in my pictures on my SD card... but that is every teenage boy.. come on people. Nothing illegal though. I didn't take them.)

Oh and another thing they do that mentally and emotionally kills me. Well… it’s mainly my grandma that does this. She says such… degrading comments to us and they hurt A LOT. Last night she must have been pissed or something. This weekend, we are going camping. So, today we are supposed to start backing as soon as we get home. But last night, she was explaining to my brother about what we needed for the trip. My brother asked a question and my grandma flips out and says "I don't think your smart enough for advanced math." This may not sound like a really mean or degrading thing to say, but my brother was very excited to be in advanced math... and to say something like that to him in the tone that she said it.... I wanted to go downstairs yell at her. It pissed me off. She does this to me all the time. Telling us that we aren't smart. And that you can't do that because you don't have the brain capacity. It hurts to hear someone tell you that. Especially when you know for a damn fact that it isn't true.

They literally make me want to commit suicide everyday, but I have too much to live for in the future. If this little essay thing isn't enough to understand what I go through everyday... then I don't know what will.

So basically to sum it up. My grandparents are literally the most controlling manipulative people I know. Even my other family members say that about them. They will stop at nothing to get their way. Even if that means destroying the only freedom that their grand-kids have. And they don't care what anyone else thinks about them, because they think that they are doing the right thing. They think that raising kids from the 21st century means no electronics (or what they call "distractions"), no friends that aren't Christian, no being a teenager, and ABSOLUTELY NO POKEMON. (Because, "Pokemon is satanic and teaches you bad things")

Also, you say that they want me to become a responsible adult... well that is what my grandma wanted her 4 kids to be... but I am starting to find a pattern here:

Kid one: my aunt - controlling manipulative bitch, bitchiest bitch of all bitches.

Kid two: my "dad" - drug addict, no license, often in jail, etc. - (I say "dad" because no one is 100% sure who my dad is... my dad might be my uncle)

Kid three: my "uncle" - was drug addict, shot himself in the head in 2006 (age 21) - (might be my dad... only blood tests will tell)

Kid four (adopted): my other aunt - does whatever she wants, has nothing to do with her "mom" (my grandma).

And then there’s her siblings that she raised - All hate her and have nothing to do with her.

None of her kids were successful and she raised them the same way she is raising us... maybe it's time for her to find a different way to raise us kids?

But yeah... I could go on another 1,300 paragraphs of why I don't like them. But I am tired of typing now. I know they love me and want the best from me... but this isn't how they are going to get the best out of me. Let me be me and I will be doing A LOT better in school. I will be less stressed and less suicidal... It would be nice.... one day without thinking, "Today is the day I die." That would be really nice.... but they just won't listen to me. They don't get the point that they are taking the wrong approach at raising kids this way. I am NOT going to raise my kids this way, that's for damn sure.

IDK... Your thoughts?
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Comments

But... I honestly don't think my grandparents are as bad as you think. IDK. My aunt and uncle even think they are bad... so maybe they are.... IDK... Also @TotalInsanity4.... I don't think I have that.
 
Anyway if things get worse and you start seriously thinking about suicide then make sure you get the help you need as fast as possible don't let yourself become another suicide statistic or if your siblings start feeling that way
 
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I can see where are you coming from. Your grandparents can't be your parents whether they like that or not, especially not with that kind of mindset that simply doesn't work in 21st century. RaptorDMG is right about lifelong effects, you should seek help from a qualified adult ASAP. And about the other things as well, they are the right decisions. At least in this time we're living in you can stay in contact with everyone, school is something that will end anyways in few years. You can always also insist with caretakers to be somewhere close as possible where your friends are. Let's be real, that's inevitable because your grandparents won't live forever. If you don't act now you might find yourself in a much worse position in the future when you're older and things have gotten not really like how you imagined and how most of your friends and peers ones did. And 2nd biggest advice I can give you, be smart. Don't do stupid things that will obviously harm you and will be extremely hard to reverse (just because you acted on impulse).
 
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"But... I honestly don't think my grandparents are as bad as you think. IDK. My aunt and uncle even think they are bad... so maybe they are.... IDK... Also @TotalInsanity4.... I don't think I have that."

@MrMcTiller That's a classic moral dilemma here I find familiar... If you feel so bad that you had to post this long text about that much stuff, that's definitely not good either. Your grandparents may not be bad people generally, but they are obviously bad for you and not adequate replacement for parents. Decisions that involve the closest ones are one of the hardest to make, even when you're sure they are right they still feel wrong. You have to break that barrier for yourself, at least just talk to someone about it (qualified adult ofc). Read again what you wrote about their children. You don't sound like a spoiled kid, your situation is serious.
 
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My grandparents forced me to go to a counselor. Because they think I am depressed because of my friends.
 
Stop delaying an coming up with excuses. This is something that needs to be dealt with NOW! Not soon, not later, NOW. Emotional abuse is the most harmful form of abuse there is (Next to sexual abuse) and can easily lead you on the path that your parents ended up on. Even if you showed your counselor or a teacher this post, it would be enough to get CPS called and you, and your siblings, the fuck out of that home.
 
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Well. Rest of their life, realistically

But in all seriousness... You really can't afford to think about that, you need to put the mental health of yourself and your siblings first. If your grandparents really, honestly love you, they'll either understand your decision or shape up to improve your situation
 
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Maybe they don't realize you don't treat kids that way. They were probably raised the same way, if not worse. It's really hard to break the cycle.
 
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I understand, but what about your siblings? Are they younger than you? If so, they'll need someone to speak out for them too.
 
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A lot it has to do with age they were raised in, there were much more conservatives back then. But borderline personality disorder more likely to be the bigger cause. We're not psychiatrists here, that's exactly why you should talk to someone qualified. Don't worry, if nothing has to be changed it won't be, it will just show true side about you grandparents.
 
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I know... I should talk to a qualified person... but I am more comfortable with talking to people here on the 'temp.
 

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