pizza sauce massacre

so i had to blow my nose right, and i seen i already had a 'clean' tissue laying around. i go to use it, and blow my nose right into a metric ton of pizza sauce. at first i was like WHAT THE FUCK then i remembered that i had some pizza on a napkin earlier and it spilt. so i go to leave my room to go to the washroom, right. and my mom walks up and she sees me with a bunch of red sauce on my nose with my hand trying to stop it from dripping everywhere. she says, "ARE YOU OKAY!? DO YOU NEED HELP!?" and rushed up the stairs, tripped, ate shit and looked up. now my mother has an ACTUAL bloody nose and i burst out laughing, drop my hands from my face and pizza sauce drips onto the carpet. she tries to get up, and places her hand RIGHT INTO all the pizza sauce that just dropped off my face. so now i'm laughing ever harder, she's pissed off trying to rush into the washroom that's five feet away, i'm trying to clean up the rest of my pizza sauce face-

then the power cuts out. we are in the dark, and i laugh even HARDER. my mom's so mad and embarrassed at this point, and i try to put out my hands to come help her, but i end up poking her right in the EYE.

we struggled for a bit, and then the power came back on and there was a mixture of blood and pizza sauce sittin' on the carpet.

swear to god i laughed so hard, almost popped out a lung.
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Comments

H
Holy shit this is intense. I was on the edge of my seat while reading this, along with all of your other revolutionary, life-changing pieces of art. Love it.
 
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H
Why are you posting them here? I'd buy this if it was published.
 
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Wait, "pizza sauce massacre"?
So is the pizza sauce being massacred, or is the pizza sauce doing the massacring?
 
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slimbizzy
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  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    @SylverReZ, understandable
  • SylverReZ @ SylverReZ:
    Hopefully it wasn't a DDoS attack.
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    @SylverReZ, i was already believing that was the reason it was down
  • SylverReZ @ SylverReZ:
    @Xdqwerty, The response from the page said it had too many connections. So perhaps, flooded traffic?
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    @SylverReZ, it didnt say that for me
  • SylverReZ @ SylverReZ:
    @Xdqwerty, It only shows that if you do 'View Source', right below that it'll tell you the SQL response query. I feel like a nerd lol.
  • SylverReZ @ SylverReZ:
    But for everyone, it said unexpected database error.
    +1
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Just said database error for me
    +2
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    @BigOnYa, she said it only said "too many connections" when you view the source
    +1
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    btw gonna try to actually beat touhou 6
    +1
  • SylverReZ @ SylverReZ:
    @Xdqwerty, Have fun.
    +1
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    @SylverReZ, i recall playing some hard undertale fangames way before playing touhou, like the genocide asgore fangame or the mettaton neo 2.0 one
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    so atleast im already kinda used to bullet hell games
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    and yea i played both undertale and deltarune too although those are a piece of cake compared to any touhou game
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    aaaaaaannnnnnd i already lost all my continues
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    I only set three default lives btw
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    cuz of score
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    i think i first should focus more on beating the game rather than obtaining a high score
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    good night
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    yawn
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    -deleted-
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    Stop ctrl cing me
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Sorry, here ctrl-Z
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    Ctrl u 2 u
    K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2: Ctrl u 2 u