My crush and thoughts...

Hey guys!

You remember my situation: This girl who smokes hash and takes acid. And I have crush on her. She has a computer
and MSN. And she asked "Why your screen name is rest0re" and I explained her. All about the demoscene and stuff.
And I have talked with her over MSN some time now. She only had computer for two weeks. I helped over MSN to to
install uTorrent and stuff like that so she could get the movies and such stuff what girls use computer for (to watch lame
series). And I even gave her my old a6 Wacom and pirated full Artrage. Oh yea. I forgot I gave her Valentine's day gift.
A binded sketchbook with stencil on cover (her name in beautiful gothic golden letters).

Anyway this is my problem. Or actually I think I'm dumb and I don't understand what is best for me. I was talking with her
messenger again today. She hangs with her friend who is girl also. She is not from the same town. Let's call this other girl
Maria for example. She said "Oh Maria called he is coming to hang out with me for a couple days but I'm on MSN today."(She
goes to trip next week). I asked her something. And she went like. "Oh wait a minute. We just took LSD"

Yep, great :unsure: . I felt anger and then I felt like "I have crush on the most stupid girl on the planet." Coz at the school
I felt really connection between us. Or maybe I'm just daydreaming (like always probably). She smiles at me and is really open
and nice and I feel like she is treating me nicely. Especially after that present I gave her. We sat on dinner table together and
she was like "Oh you got blue paint on your cheek" like she is paying attention on me. And was really really awesome today.

I seriously felt little bit ill when she typed that LSD thing and I just closed MSN window.

I figured out that there is this little nice girl that has crush on me also. Or I think. We were hanging out with this older woman
and she was really laughing at my jokes and following me. But I don't have any feelings for her. She's bit weird and could
be gamer type girl but I just can't feel a thing for her. Also there is other girl who is two years older than me and she studied
architecture before and we even had a coffee together. And I felt strong connection on her too. But no love feelings. Just
confusion that I like this not-so-nice-girl. So it's kind good that my crush goes to trip next week. I just felt like when she smiles
at me I'm at heaven. Last sunday I was at the school doing some paintings with other girl (let's call her Heidi) and we were
discussing something. And I don't really remember how it went to that I'm being single and finally that "But you have crush
on her!" she said. And I was like "What you know too?" and I blushed. And she said "Everybody knows it". :hateit:

Other non serious funny things

I would like to concentrate on demoscene finally but our coder is now at usa army. He liked army so much he recruited
himself to usa military and he will be stationed at Iraq. And this idiot rejoined Jasoft under different name and released some
shitty text on diskmagazine trying to hurt our group. Fuck him. So I'm looking for new coder. I think I'll try DBF/GVY democode
forums for new coder. We just need to put out some productions soon. I want to make DS or GBA demo. I just want my mind
out of this girl :) Anyway...

Comments

Trolly
Hrm, you're right that's a big problem if you really like her. Have you spoken to her about it at all, or are you worried you will ruin what you have?
Really, it's vital you tell her what you make of her drug habits, or it'll just come between you at some point. Just ask why she takes them, and that does she know how bad it is for herself.
 
R
[quote name='Trolly' post='1823799' date='Mar 13 2009, 06:24 PM']Hrm, you're right that's a big problem if you really like her. Have you spoken to her about it at all, or are you worried you will ruin what you have?
Really, it's vital you tell her what you make of her drug habits, or it'll just come between you at some point. Just ask why she takes them, and that does she know how bad it is for herself.[/quote]
I don't even know if this girl likes me like I like her. But basically I told "You should not smoke that hash so much it clearly makes you paranoid" but it wasn't serious comment and it was about when she said to me "I feel that when I have to go to this meeting people hate me there". But I haven't really told her that "hey stop smoking hash and taking acid" or asked why she does it. But I think it's related her shitty life experiences in past I think. Her ex beat shit out her or that is what I figured...
 
Lazycus
It's obvious she knows you have a crush on her. If other people see it and you have given her gifts everybody knows. Here's all you need to do, but it will take some guts: Next time you are on MSN or are having a private chat with her in person, type/say exactly what you did above - "I have (a) crush on the most stupid girl on the planet." Tell her why you like her so much and then tell her why she is stupid for taking LSD and other drugs. I guarantee that at the end of the conversation that follows you will know exactly if she has the same feelings for you, and how important drugs are to her. Where you go from there is up to you. Initiate a change in your life - big risks lead to big rewards. Just letting her know could lead to a better change in her life too. Good luck!
 
silent sniper
well its not like hash and acid are on the same level as crack and meth, so just be thankful for that.

i do remember you old dilemma, but youre gonna describe her personallity (or what you've observed about her, at least) to people until any advice can be given.
 
R
[quote name='SpikeyBryan' post='1827531' date='Mar 15 2009, 09:26 AM']Dude, totally rape her while she's tripping on LSD[/quote]
Great idea :angry: Seriously. I think she has been on drugs at school also :P
 
R
[quote name='silent sniper' post='1827396' date='Mar 15 2009, 07:37 AM']well its not like hash and acid are on the same level as crack and meth, so just be thankful for that.

i do remember you old dilemma, but youre gonna describe her personallity (or what you've observed about her, at least) to people until any advice can be given.[/quote]
I know that hash and acids are not crack and meth but I can imagine (okay I imagine too much). We sitting home and
she is like "Hey you don't mind if I take geltabs now?" It's like she would be tripping there with me and when I'm
not into psychedelics, it's almost as fun as being only guy sober while everybody else is drunk. And I felt like when I
talked with her before Xmas break that she is just into them because her friend. Or it didn't sound like "I'm so waiting
to get high". It was rather "She's coming and we're going to use some drugs" with strange tone. Like bored or frustrated
tone. Dunno, maybe I'm just have wild fantasy world and I think I'm the prince that saves the most beautiful princess
from evil world :P
I just that I think she might be dangerous company for me.
I used to hang out with crowd that took psilocybin mushrooms and now one of my friends is fucking crazy. And I don't
want to end up into mental institution in vegetable state talking about "Spaghetti monsters are talking with me" :P
 

Blog entry information

Author
rest0re
Views
203
Comments
18
Last update

More entries in Personal Blogs

More entries from rest0re

Share this entry

General chit-chat
Help Users
  • No one is chatting at the moment.
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    They should've just made it a movie at 50 minutes
     +1
  • Psionic Roshambo @ Psionic Roshambo:
    No from Paramount Plus or whatever it is
     +1
  • Psionic Roshambo @ Psionic Roshambo:
    Psi now has access to every streaming and cable channel out
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    Eh I'd rather just download and delete is it already up on paramount?
  • Psionic Roshambo @ Psionic Roshambo:
    Yeah it's on now
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    @Psionic Roshambo, why are most new south park episodes half hour specials?
     +1
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    @Psionic Roshambo, let me get a Netflix account I've always been nice to you
     +1
  • Psionic Roshambo @ Psionic Roshambo:
    I made a honey pepper glazed turkey breast for dinner turned out pretty bomb
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    We can Netflix and chill
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    Nvm not half hour, but hour long
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    Normal south park episodes are already half hour
  • Psionic Roshambo @ Psionic Roshambo:
    Got 2 free Xumo boxes they work pretty good
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    I'm happy to get anything most series don't make it pass 6 seasons
  • Psionic Roshambo @ Psionic Roshambo:
    Except Stars and Encore those are being a bitch lol
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    I may consider that onn pro box finally a media box with type A ;O
     +1
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    @K3Nv2, cuz the companies don't want em to
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    No it's revenue and demand south park could argue has a bigger audience than family guy about the same
     +1
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    Family guy is worth 300mill south parks worth 1Bill according to the interwebs
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    @K3Nv2, probably cuz family guy is more disliked compared to south park
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    It just does the same formula south park can press buttons without going overboard
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    And bc most of the family guy budget is spent on the voice actors rather than on the animation
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    Southpark could spend 30k on a animated dick and people would laugh at it
     +2
  • K3Nv2 @ K3Nv2:
    lol one prescription to Lizzo
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    who is lizzo?
  • Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty:
    yawn
    Xdqwerty @ Xdqwerty: yawn