Regret

Ever feel like you're drifting away from a community but would do anything to get back? Well, sit tight, because this is gonna be a hell of a story, and probably my longest blog.

It all starts in November 2017. My friend, let's call him "Kevin", sends me a link to join his new discord. His discord was related to game preservation and the such. It was nice, and he was nice. Then he made a secret channel, kind of like the secret channel in the ReSwitched server. This was way later, when the server blew up, and I was inactive for like two months. He was glad to see me come back. It was all smooth sailing, he gave me access to the secret channel. I met the rest of the people in the channel, some of whom I already knew and some of who I didn't. But the majority of people I met there were people I know we beforehand. There was this one person, let's call her "Sarah". She was quite nice. Sarah recommended me as a staff member later, and I was really quite happy that day. This is the part where it a starts falling apart. I was really happy, but the eagerness took me over. I accidentally deleted a few messages, and a demotion occurred. I got demoted to the Content Releaser role. I didn't really mind the demotion, it was just a pink role. Anyhow, I got kicked from the server later for "being annoying and slight attention whoring" by Sarah herself. I think I might've said some bad stuff to her before, which I deeply regret and am sorry for. Sarah, if you're reading this, which you probably are, I'm sorry. Anyway, I came back without any roles but still able to access the secret channel. I asked Kevin later, "Could I have the content releaser role back?" To which he replied, "You didn't release shit." His words. I've actually released something before, but I'm not gonna say what it was. A few weeks pass. Slow, tense weeks between me and the others. Of course there were some people who still liked me in that little group, and they might be some of the nicest people that I have never deserved to met. Anyway, Kevin bans me later for saying the word "Epic". I had to say sorry to Kevin for betraying him and his poor hatred of the word Epic. Like what the fuck, Kevin?
Anyway, after this I didn't get the secret channel back. That's the only channel that has some semblance of activity within it, so without it the server was basically a desert. So I only chatted a few times, usually close to midnight. I took a break after this, hoping to see that they realise they have done wrong, only to find out that there was some drama involving me joining and rejoining the server as a user named "EpicGamer." Someone said, "Kevin that's a server scraper" and he said, "oh sorry." I wasn't gonna reply to him with a regular old "k kev" to him, no. I blocked him and left the server and deleted my own discord, which at the time had 156 members in anger. That was a shitty decision, but the server was dead anyway. Kevin apologized to me later, and I accepted it reluctantly. Now, let's cut to today. I was talking to one of my friends still in that secret chat, let's call him "Dan." Me and Dan were talking about stuff, then Kevin's discord came up. He was out of the loop when Kevin removed me from the secret chat, so he asks, "hey why'd you remove jelly" and Kevin said "he's annoying." Only difference from me now from me before is that I chat way way less. The server is a wasteland without the secret channel. And then I said, it's probably just him, to which he sent me a screenshot of him saying "Man even the people are starting to annoy me here, especially jelly"
To which Sarah replies "same"
And another replies "same"
I'm gone from that server for the near future. I loved that server at some point, but it's changed. I'm sorry guys, but I'm gone.

And I can't wrap my head around how I'm being annoying. Is it from being relatively inactive because the rest of the server is?

Tl;Dr I'm gonna get a lot of flack from this blog and I'm sorry to all of you who've read my masterpiece and I'm sorry to Sarah.

Also uh if you were in there and don't feel like hiding your name you could tell me how I'm annoying thx :-)

Comments

Also it probably seems I'm making a big deal out of something so petty as this, but it means a lot to me. Words cannot express how much regret I'm feeling for all the actions I've done.

Also please don't post useless shitty comments here. They will be deleted.
 
You're 14, you likely don't have a whole lot else to make a big deal out of.

Some formatting would really go a long way though. Someone might actually read this then lol.

Sounds like a lame kiddy server. Just move on and find interesting people more in line with you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 10 people
Well, typical story at your age, everyone has passed that.

Just move on, and stop thinking about it, they are probably come to you in the future for stuff and then you can choose to be better than them and accept them, or, revenge.

That's my 2 cents.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
D
You'd probably be better off without them imo. I don't know who they are and I really don't care enough to get to know them, but they don't sound all that pleasant to be around.
 
Yeah, sounds like typical 14 year old occurrences. As stated before, its usually best to move on, instead of vying for their approval. Put your time towards bettering yourself and finding new people.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4 people
I don’t know what you’re trying to gain from them anyway? Approval?
You could probably find approval by putting effort into something else. What are you going to gain from a group of people so seemingly irrational?
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
Honestly just sounds like normal 14 year old boy stuff. Just roll with things, man, and learn from the past.
 
>Calling r* kev
>You got demoted from staff because you made another poll about unbanning s* after r* told you to stop iirc
>c* probably turned on you for saying certain no no words
>Why do you hunger for c*'s approval so much
>Who is this dan
>#LeSecretChannel is pretty dead anyways

Oh and one more thing
unknown.png
 
@snails1221 no, the demotion really was deleting a few messages, ask others about it.
Can't tell you who Dan is, figure that out. It isn't t*.
 
I'm just going to tell you:
shit happens and it doesn't happen; diarrhea and constipation. Cofefe and cheese. Pepto-Bismol.

While I'm not entirely unsympathetic to your blog, go to pokemonshowdown, pick a random chat room and watch
1434984203-30336-135.jpg

get played and recycled from the discard pile.
 
The anthropologist of the internet within finds the approach described being done for something as ephemeral as an IM service quite odd. I would normally only expect it for "permanent" and readily searchable (think your classic forums, blogs and things like it). I would then wonder if this is a reflection of the approach used by the world nowadays.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 1 person
All I can say for sure is that you'll get over it. In time you'll look back and laugh at how petty this all is.
 

Blog entry information

Author
JellyPerson
Views
502
Comments
45
Last update

More entries in Personal Blogs

More entries from JellyPerson

General chit-chat
Help Users
    SylverReZ @ SylverReZ: @DinohScene, How's that hard drive recovery project going?