Why I haven't been feeling so great lately

I think this will make a lot more sense if I start from the beginning.

I met this girl who goes to my university (one year bellow me) back in September on VanEnthusiasts.com Tinder and we got along really well. Everything felt great for that month because we hanged out and got to know each other as individuals. We did share intimate moments and I was fine with that. The charm of GhostLatte is unmatched ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). This continued well into October and I was in my glory.

However, everything changed in November and that's when things started to go downhill. We haven't hanged since October 30th and every time I've asked her to hang she always has either cancelled (two times now?) or said she has homework to do. I get the homework part because she majors in art and they have the heaviest course load at my school. However, she just isn't the same person from when I met her. She barely responds to my texts anymore. I called her up like two weeks ago to ask what was wrong and she said didn't want a relationship and that she needed space. I was fine with this. I mean trust me just being friends would be alright and then eventually she would get in the van. I've done everything I can to make this work. I've given only the utmost compassion and kindness. I've been a supporter of her work from the beginning and have given her motivation. I've told her things I have't told others because I trusted her. I even gave her a great birthday gift last week from the heart. I'm conflicted in my emotions. as part of me is saying she doesn't need you in her life and that you fucked up. The other part is saying that you haven't done anything wrong and that she needs space like she said. I'm honestly just really lost in all of this. I was sad for a bit, but I realized that I would be fine without her if things didn't work out as there plenty of people to drag into the van.

Thanks for reading this and I hope you enjoyed the subtle humor throughout. It was good to get this off my chest.
  • Like
Reactions: 17 people

Comments

GhostLatte
Ironically she thinks I spend too much on stuff I don’t need but I mean it’s with my own money and I fail to see the problem with that @FAST6191
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
The Real Jdbye
@GhostLatte Maybe you do spend too much on stuff you don't need. A lot of us are probably guilty of that. I wouldn't necessarily say it's a problem if you can afford it and don't have anything better to spend the money on, but if you're spending all your money right away and never saving anything, it could come back to bite you.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
Alexander1970
If you like someone and maybe get into a Partnership,then with all "Consequences".:)

If someone spends a lot of Time with his Stuff,then please:

Some do it very superficial,some look behind the "Mask" or take time for it,to learn to "to meet someone".
Some have no Time for this "humbug",some have this important time for sure...

If someone do not have Time,then it was not important for this Person.......and you can walk away without any regrets.
Click to expand...

That should clarify before......
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
G
Aww man that's terrible :/
especially since you trusted her, that's really got to hurt...
hope you make it bby <3
 
  • Like
Reactions: 2 people
Chary
At the very least, you can turn this into a learning experience. I’m sorry to hear that happened to you, and I wish you the best of luck in recovering and finding a new girl to introduce to your van.

On the topic of spending “too much”, you should reflect on whether that was a valid criticism, or if it was her just not agreeing with your hobby. I find it highly important for an SO to understand one’s hobby. I have a giant plushie collection that my boyfriend tsk’s at, but he understands it’s something I love, and I feel that having some level of minimal support means a lot in the long run, even if it seems like a small deal.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3 people
2Hack
Honestly, no one can say what is really going on other than her. there's lots of possibilities, and some may sound worse than others, but you can't dwell on it too much. Sometimes people lose interest because the interest is going somewhere else, or maybe they don't see themselves with you anymore, or they actually don't want to be in a relationship and just wanted to casually date. The younger you are, the more likely you are the switch up or change, and that is completely normal and applicable to everyone. So it can also be a simple fact that she had changed her mind on the whole dating thing. Only she knows why she is doing what she is doing, and you'd be hard pressed to get the real answer from her. The only people that can change her mind is her, or her friends. The only thing you can control is you, and how you bounce back and react.

The thing is, the more we try to get closer to them during this time, or try to be extra caring or show too much love, the more they push away. Desperation is unattractive, yet when your intentions are honest and you just want that interest back, it seems like the most logical.

My advice, is withdraw and do you. stay respectful, but don't let her have you, and not have you. I know you said you wanna be friends but I personally wouldn't do that. Post on social media, keep the flex up, drip on point, and don't skip a beat. That way, you're working on building yourself, and if she comes back, or a new one comes in to your life, that's an additional benefit.

I'm no love guru, if those even exist, but these are all based off my personal experiences and what has worked and what hasn't. What I do know is the flex comes before everything.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 4 people
GhostLatte
So a little update is that she ghosted (kinda ironic I know) me as we’re only doing streaks on snap. If she makes an effort to contact me, then that is fine but I’m not making an effort to contact her anymore on my own. I feel much better being on my own now and I’m keeping my horizons open. Thank you guys for all the advice/support!
 
  • Like
Reactions: 7 people

Blog entry information

Author
GhostLatte
Views
617
Comments
60
Last update

More entries in Personal Blogs

More entries from GhostLatte

Share this entry

General chit-chat
Help Users
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    i just want a wizard to stick his wand (whether literal or figurative is up to interpretation, either way it's either freaky or sus, or both i guess) up my ass
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    I'm making Texas sheet cake for first time today, my Nieghbor brought us some few weeks ago and damn that's good, so I got her recipe and gonna try it today.
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    mmm, sounds good
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Its not a brownie, and its not a cake, so what is it- Texas sheet cake.
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    I tried making chocolate lava cakes the other day in cupcake pan, what a mess, my lava exploded out of the cakes everywhere while baking, was still ok tho, just no lava inside.
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    We had our grandkids over yesterday and I got a small above ground swimming pool I filled for them to play in. Well today I woke to find 3 ducks swimming around in it. Don't mind really but they are annoyingly loud, quack quack. Gotta drain it today. Guess what were having for dinner, lol.
     +1
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    lol
  • AncientBoi @ AncientBoi:
    :O
  • AncientBoi @ AncientBoi:
    BBQ'd 🦆
     +1
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    also i'm sorry your molten lava cakes failed
     +2
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    just looked up a pic of texas sheet cake, and it looks delicious
     +1
  • AncientBoi @ AncientBoi:
    🌋 Science Project?
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    i think i might need to try making lava cakes for the 4th of july fr
     +2
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    I used butter instead of vegetable oil, and think that's why they squirted out during baking, who knows
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    yeah i think oil is the right call
     +1
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    plus if you're making brownies or lava cakes for people with dairy allergies, you should use oil instead of butter anyway
     +2
  • ZeroT21 @ ZeroT21:
    @BakerMan Make me a space cake plz
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    I make rum cake for 4th July every year, I make it a week prior and then soak it in rum in the fridge all week. I flip the cake each day, and add little more rum, it soaks it up everyday, so good.
     +2
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    sorry, idk what you mean by a space cake, and even if i did, i'm not really taking requests right now, because otherwise people will get mad at me for taking a request but not making a birthday cake for @Xdqwerty (i'm sorry for that btw bro)
  • ZeroT21 @ ZeroT21:
    @BakerMan lies, you just want to smoke it

    :rofl2:
     +1
  • ZeroT21 @ ZeroT21:
    Guess all the food in my fridge can knock out a cow or two
  • ZeroT21 @ ZeroT21:
    I should visit Florida again, miss the alligator barbecues
  • BigOnYa @ BigOnYa:
    Me and wifey was deciding on our next vacation, so I hung up a map on the wall, and give her a dart and said, wherever you hit, we will go. She threw the dart and it missed the map completely and fell into a trash can below on floor. So I said "ok Florida it is."
  • BakerMan @ BakerMan:
    @ZeroT21 ohhh a pot cake?
     +1
  • SylverReZ @ SylverReZ:
    Gimme some of dat
    SylverReZ @ SylverReZ: Gimme some of dat