So, late last year, I decided that I wanted to go scare people for money. There's this semi permanent one that opens every October in my hometown, and they are always looking for actors to run it. So I toss my application at the form on the webpage, and they got back to me just before it opened - about late November. I got dressed for the part - with a homemade Bioshock splicer mask and a bridesmaid's dress. I also wore "scarring" fluid - it's a makeup trick that pulls your skin into a convincing scar. I think the manager hired me because I had a book of costumes with me - my cosplays and I was dressed as a convincing Pyramid Head with bare shoulders and arms. She asked me if I wanted to play a specific character and if I had experience with haunted houses. I replied that I would work as any character, except for Alice (the haunted house had an Alice in Wonderland themed one - not really scary, but more cool looking) and the completely "in-the-dark" one (because I have shitty nightvision already). The haunted house place is set up with like six different themed areas, with two of them outdoors.
So the day of the dress rehearsal comes around, and I'm already exhausted because I ended up walking into the fairground and into the building/area the haunted house is set up in. It's crazy busy because there are so many "new" actors and people were getting costumes and shit done. (By the way, the new hires had those shitty costumes from Spirit Halloween, and they looked awful.) So, we were guided through our respective houses, and it turns out that I was working in one themed after a mental institution. So, after getting scared by air whips and thumps in the haunted house that I was working in, I found my section. I was to be playing a mad butcher in a kitchen type setting - and the section I had was awesome, with coffee pots, pots/pans, a toaster and generally looking great with the exception of fake blood, and random body parts in the pots and pans. (And they had foam brains - which was fun.)
So the next thing that happened was that we were supposed to go into other haunted houses, and have the other actors work their magic on you. Personally, the worse attraction for me was the "completely in the dark" one - because the actors will sporadically turn on their flashlights and scare the piss out of you. And it was so damn dark that you literally couldn't see your hand in front of your face. My favourite one has to be the classic "haunted house" - because it featured the demon from the Exorcist and there were so many clever hiding spots for people. (Seriously, if you go, go see that haunted house - the actress is pretty damn convincing!)
So finally, the night is over, and I end up walking home (could have taken the bus, but it was late and I needed the time to completely wind down from the experience). So the next day, we were on for working - we had to arrive early for makeup and instructions. I get my makeup done - black grease paint on the eyes, white greasepaint everywhere else and two types of fake blood (some of this was called "fresh scratch" - it's the stuff that looks like it's clotted and stays put, the other kind is the loose/free running stuff, but it tastes like butt).
So, my coworkers and I get into position, and because it's the start of October, not too many people come in to get scared. I do get a couple of good ones - but I because of my voice and my role, I decide not to go with screaming - just growling and lunging at people.
Here are my favourite scares of the month:
0) Group is a mixed group of people and I'm kneeling in my hidey hole. I can practically see the lead (a black guy wearing a white sweatshirt), and he's distracted looking at the grill/props. I jump out, growling all the while, and he instantly jumps up and lands on his butt. His friends don't react, but he does, which made them laugh so hard.
1) Victims are two tough looking asian guys, and I hear them coming. I pop out, growling, and they actually jumped into the opposite wall hard enough to bounce off of it.
2) I hear a mixed group with a bunch of girls, and I scurry back into my hiding spot. I practically plow into them, and get up close and literally growl into this girl's face. She loses her nerve and sprints for the exit, bringing all of her friends with her. (The funniest part was that I could pinpoint the exact point she lost her nerve.)
3) This one's my favourite - I was getting tired already and my voice was starting to break from the deeper growls. There are two tables with seated ghouls in my area, and I heard the lone guy coming through. I turn to face one of the ghouls and I start singing in Mandarin Chinese in a high pitch, and stroke the thing's face, and as soon as he passed me by, I whipped around, and dropped my voice into a deep growl. That got me the "reward" of an actual whimper, and the lady behind him saying "I love your performance!"
4) This one was just funny. A group of older ladies were going through the haunt, and most of them were unaffected by the scares. One of them however, was looking terrified and completely horrified. I pop out, and actually hit the wall behind her. I also ended up growling at her, and she responded by going limp and saying "I don't want to be here!". I ended up tailing them to the exit, and the lady was still going "I know you can't touch me..." And her friend pulls an asshole move, she actually grabbed her friend's coat, and that got a terrified scream.
5) Two younger girls wearing makeup and going through with their boyfriends. Because they were reacting so much, I ended up tailing them to the end of the haunted house, and was actually starting to run. The girl reacted in genuine fright and actually ended up flailing her arm so hard she got me in the throat and actually knocked the air from me.
6) It was a busier day and we were encouraged to keep the "lines" moving. It was a tiring day, and my feet were killing me from all the lunges and slapping I did. Plus, the maniac laugh I did involved a full body posture. This group was a bunch of preteens, mostly guys. The one guy at the front had basically did a full stop, deer in the headlights look at my costume/makeup (at this point, I was wearing gelatin flesh that looked like Freddy's burn marks)...and he was stopping all traffic. I decided to make the best of it, and ended up rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet and then feinting a lunge at him. Instantly, the guy grabbed the nearest weapon - a toaster rack, and I lunged again growling "Put that back!" He did, and ran out taking the entire group with him.
7) I was slinking out of the haunted house on break, and I had to use the bathroom. I was crossing to the main building and I saw a group of three girls take one look at me and my makeup (the burned/decaying flesh) and they turned and ran in unison. My manager saw that too and both of us ended up dying of laughter.
8) So my coworker works in a room with fake decapitated heads, and one of his lines was "Would you like a head?" So...one of the guests had a dirty mind and responded with "Nothing wrong with some head!" And that ended up making me chuckle through my makeup and completely making me break character.
9) So, the flooring in my section is pretty uneven with fake wood flooring. I always end up jumping out at the guests and I'm pretty fat. So, I ended up jumping out at guests, landing funny and actually felt a small bone in my foot break. I spent the month limping and finally headed to the doctor to ask him for an X-Ray. And yup, a tiny sliver of bone came loose from my foot. The only good thing that came out of it was that I had a pretty convincing limp for the rest of the work days.
10) I hear a group coming, and I pop out of the alcove I'm in. The group turns out to be Chinese, and consisting of 2 guys and 2 girls. The girls are completely sandwiched between the two guys. I growl at them, and they get a good look at me, and both the girls shut down completely. They start weeping and they sink to the ground. One of the guys had to rescue them and escort them out of the attraction.
11) Mixed group with a couple of kids. I growl and get into one of the kid's personal bubble. He drops down onto all fours and basically crawls out of the attraction.
12) Straight couple with the guy leading. Girlfriend is holding onto the boyfriend's shoulders. I pop out and growl at them, and the girlfriend pulls on the guy's shoulders so hard that it looks like she might just snap his neck.
13) The funniest one yet was this guy jumping half a foot into the air and then landing again. And he complains to his friend, "Why do the short ones always get me?"
14) I'm in the main building and there's a straight couple. The guy gestures for me to chase his girlfriend out of the corner of my eye. I see her cringing away from me and just as I pass her, I lunge at her. She screams and then runs off, I spend the next 10 minutes cackling madly and running at her. She finally runs into her boyfriend's arms, and I laugh and slink off...(Hell, I was out of energy completely...)
15) One of the guests took one look at me and then backed up into the curtains into the other area. I start stalking him and he just bolts for the exit like he was on fire!
16) My coworker brought her boyfriend through the haunted house, but called out to the actors to "cool it". I was mid-maniac laugh and then I dropped my expression to just a glare, and the boyfriend was like "What the hell was that?" That made me laugh so hard later...
Bonus: And the cutest couples costume was a couple dressed as Mulder and Scully. The wig was awful although, maybe I'm used to cosplay wigs, but urgh, that was Dollar Store quality...
Would I work at that attraction again? Yes. The pay was minimum wage, but we got a bonus if we made a guest pee or poop themselves. (But I didn't have the heart to make the poor guy stand there in wet pants while I called over a manager to confirm!) It was a very physical job (lots of running and lots of jumping) - we would be freezing at the beginning of shifts, but be sweating like crazy. I had rubber work gloves on as part of my costume, but usually by the first hour, I would be soaking in sweat and literally have to peel the gloves off.
The perks of the job are basically free amusement rides and free food, and watching human beings get scared to death. Plus, it's basically fun - you are paid to scare people and make sure they have a bit of fun. (Why you would pay to scare yourself is beyond me, but whatever floats your boat, man...)
So the day of the dress rehearsal comes around, and I'm already exhausted because I ended up walking into the fairground and into the building/area the haunted house is set up in. It's crazy busy because there are so many "new" actors and people were getting costumes and shit done. (By the way, the new hires had those shitty costumes from Spirit Halloween, and they looked awful.) So, we were guided through our respective houses, and it turns out that I was working in one themed after a mental institution. So, after getting scared by air whips and thumps in the haunted house that I was working in, I found my section. I was to be playing a mad butcher in a kitchen type setting - and the section I had was awesome, with coffee pots, pots/pans, a toaster and generally looking great with the exception of fake blood, and random body parts in the pots and pans. (And they had foam brains - which was fun.)
So the next thing that happened was that we were supposed to go into other haunted houses, and have the other actors work their magic on you. Personally, the worse attraction for me was the "completely in the dark" one - because the actors will sporadically turn on their flashlights and scare the piss out of you. And it was so damn dark that you literally couldn't see your hand in front of your face. My favourite one has to be the classic "haunted house" - because it featured the demon from the Exorcist and there were so many clever hiding spots for people. (Seriously, if you go, go see that haunted house - the actress is pretty damn convincing!)
So finally, the night is over, and I end up walking home (could have taken the bus, but it was late and I needed the time to completely wind down from the experience). So the next day, we were on for working - we had to arrive early for makeup and instructions. I get my makeup done - black grease paint on the eyes, white greasepaint everywhere else and two types of fake blood (some of this was called "fresh scratch" - it's the stuff that looks like it's clotted and stays put, the other kind is the loose/free running stuff, but it tastes like butt).
So, my coworkers and I get into position, and because it's the start of October, not too many people come in to get scared. I do get a couple of good ones - but I because of my voice and my role, I decide not to go with screaming - just growling and lunging at people.
Here are my favourite scares of the month:
0) Group is a mixed group of people and I'm kneeling in my hidey hole. I can practically see the lead (a black guy wearing a white sweatshirt), and he's distracted looking at the grill/props. I jump out, growling all the while, and he instantly jumps up and lands on his butt. His friends don't react, but he does, which made them laugh so hard.
1) Victims are two tough looking asian guys, and I hear them coming. I pop out, growling, and they actually jumped into the opposite wall hard enough to bounce off of it.
2) I hear a mixed group with a bunch of girls, and I scurry back into my hiding spot. I practically plow into them, and get up close and literally growl into this girl's face. She loses her nerve and sprints for the exit, bringing all of her friends with her. (The funniest part was that I could pinpoint the exact point she lost her nerve.)
3) This one's my favourite - I was getting tired already and my voice was starting to break from the deeper growls. There are two tables with seated ghouls in my area, and I heard the lone guy coming through. I turn to face one of the ghouls and I start singing in Mandarin Chinese in a high pitch, and stroke the thing's face, and as soon as he passed me by, I whipped around, and dropped my voice into a deep growl. That got me the "reward" of an actual whimper, and the lady behind him saying "I love your performance!"
4) This one was just funny. A group of older ladies were going through the haunt, and most of them were unaffected by the scares. One of them however, was looking terrified and completely horrified. I pop out, and actually hit the wall behind her. I also ended up growling at her, and she responded by going limp and saying "I don't want to be here!". I ended up tailing them to the exit, and the lady was still going "I know you can't touch me..." And her friend pulls an asshole move, she actually grabbed her friend's coat, and that got a terrified scream.
5) Two younger girls wearing makeup and going through with their boyfriends. Because they were reacting so much, I ended up tailing them to the end of the haunted house, and was actually starting to run. The girl reacted in genuine fright and actually ended up flailing her arm so hard she got me in the throat and actually knocked the air from me.
6) It was a busier day and we were encouraged to keep the "lines" moving. It was a tiring day, and my feet were killing me from all the lunges and slapping I did. Plus, the maniac laugh I did involved a full body posture. This group was a bunch of preteens, mostly guys. The one guy at the front had basically did a full stop, deer in the headlights look at my costume/makeup (at this point, I was wearing gelatin flesh that looked like Freddy's burn marks)...and he was stopping all traffic. I decided to make the best of it, and ended up rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet and then feinting a lunge at him. Instantly, the guy grabbed the nearest weapon - a toaster rack, and I lunged again growling "Put that back!" He did, and ran out taking the entire group with him.
7) I was slinking out of the haunted house on break, and I had to use the bathroom. I was crossing to the main building and I saw a group of three girls take one look at me and my makeup (the burned/decaying flesh) and they turned and ran in unison. My manager saw that too and both of us ended up dying of laughter.
8) So my coworker works in a room with fake decapitated heads, and one of his lines was "Would you like a head?" So...one of the guests had a dirty mind and responded with "Nothing wrong with some head!" And that ended up making me chuckle through my makeup and completely making me break character.
9) So, the flooring in my section is pretty uneven with fake wood flooring. I always end up jumping out at the guests and I'm pretty fat. So, I ended up jumping out at guests, landing funny and actually felt a small bone in my foot break. I spent the month limping and finally headed to the doctor to ask him for an X-Ray. And yup, a tiny sliver of bone came loose from my foot. The only good thing that came out of it was that I had a pretty convincing limp for the rest of the work days.
10) I hear a group coming, and I pop out of the alcove I'm in. The group turns out to be Chinese, and consisting of 2 guys and 2 girls. The girls are completely sandwiched between the two guys. I growl at them, and they get a good look at me, and both the girls shut down completely. They start weeping and they sink to the ground. One of the guys had to rescue them and escort them out of the attraction.
11) Mixed group with a couple of kids. I growl and get into one of the kid's personal bubble. He drops down onto all fours and basically crawls out of the attraction.
12) Straight couple with the guy leading. Girlfriend is holding onto the boyfriend's shoulders. I pop out and growl at them, and the girlfriend pulls on the guy's shoulders so hard that it looks like she might just snap his neck.
13) The funniest one yet was this guy jumping half a foot into the air and then landing again. And he complains to his friend, "Why do the short ones always get me?"
14) I'm in the main building and there's a straight couple. The guy gestures for me to chase his girlfriend out of the corner of my eye. I see her cringing away from me and just as I pass her, I lunge at her. She screams and then runs off, I spend the next 10 minutes cackling madly and running at her. She finally runs into her boyfriend's arms, and I laugh and slink off...(Hell, I was out of energy completely...)
15) One of the guests took one look at me and then backed up into the curtains into the other area. I start stalking him and he just bolts for the exit like he was on fire!
16) My coworker brought her boyfriend through the haunted house, but called out to the actors to "cool it". I was mid-maniac laugh and then I dropped my expression to just a glare, and the boyfriend was like "What the hell was that?" That made me laugh so hard later...
Bonus: And the cutest couples costume was a couple dressed as Mulder and Scully. The wig was awful although, maybe I'm used to cosplay wigs, but urgh, that was Dollar Store quality...
Me in my work makeup.
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View attachment 49037
Would I work at that attraction again? Yes. The pay was minimum wage, but we got a bonus if we made a guest pee or poop themselves. (But I didn't have the heart to make the poor guy stand there in wet pants while I called over a manager to confirm!) It was a very physical job (lots of running and lots of jumping) - we would be freezing at the beginning of shifts, but be sweating like crazy. I had rubber work gloves on as part of my costume, but usually by the first hour, I would be soaking in sweat and literally have to peel the gloves off.
The perks of the job are basically free amusement rides and free food, and watching human beings get scared to death. Plus, it's basically fun - you are paid to scare people and make sure they have a bit of fun. (Why you would pay to scare yourself is beyond me, but whatever floats your boat, man...)
