You, and the shiny golden pedestal

Do you have social anxiety?
Do you feel like you're accomplishing the exact opposite of what you wanted while taking a walk intended to chill you off?
Do you have many people know you and expect you to behave like you have been behaving in the past very long time, and that makes you uncomfortable?

If these fit you, then you may be a victim of being displayed as a decorative statue on a shiny golden pedestal by others.
It may be time to walk off of the pedestal, and take a deep breath already after all this time.


Backstory:
I absolutely hate meeting people (besides those rare few who accept my quirks and didn't leave me), and thus I hate leaving my room, let alone the house.
I just hate the crippling feeling of accidentally offending someone by passing by them and not noticing them, or to meet someone you know when you don't want to meet anyone, and just want to shop in peace.
Very frequently I wish everyone just disappeared.

But then when I was in Austria (Vienna), I was able to experience enlightment.
I didn't know anyone, nobody knew me, and nobody really cared about my existance. I was able to chill on the tram, take some beautiful photos of greenery and nature, eat something new, and take walks during late night in the nice, dark, and cold enough weather.


Fast forward to a few months ago, still suffering from the current world event consequences and the regulations caused by it.

I've been getting more and more insane as time passed.
It was so bad already that attempting basic necessities, like even just the thought of going to the shop for groceries caused me to have a panic attack, spazz out, and basically turn blind for the duration of the panic attack.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I had yet another panic attack for a reason. I messaged someone who was partially the reason for my panic attack, and accidentally managed to offend her during a nice casual conversation.
Next day I had a nightmare, experiencing the same thing she has experienced by me accidentally offending her.

I already knew a thing or two about attempting to ignore people, and I have been asking around a few people about what their magic is on being able to not care about others' shitty opinions, and being able to live a good life due to the lack of that kind of stress.
However, even after their easy-sounding explainations, I still was unable to do what they were able to do.

But after that nightmare, it hit me right in the guts...

"I can't be crippled by others' thoughts if they can't have any expectations of me."

This knowledge is crucial at being able to ignore others' stupid opinions you didn't ask for.

Verdict:
Don't let people have expectations of you.

For example, if you're known for your nice clothing, then you're placed on the pedestal as a decoration for having nice and admirable clothing. However, you hate nice clothing, as it's uncomfortable, hard to clean, and expensive to repair/replace.
This creates unnecessary and unneeded stress on you, as you're afraid of disappointing people by showing up in normal clothing, so your mind - as a last resort - decides that if you don't leave the house and/or don't meet people then you can't disappoint anyone, and thus the stress goes away.
But at what cost? Now you can't go shopping (or really anywhere) anymore without stress.

You have just been placed on the shiny golden pedestal.
You turned into a decoration statue which is admired by everyone who knows you for that quality they choose your statue for. But it's there only for decor.
During your stay on the pedestal, you're just a shiny, nice-looking, and admired decoration piece, and you're not allowed to change or to be different, as that breaks the "atmosphere".

The best way to kill off stress casused by this kind of act is to drop the expectations of people, and don't allow them to pick it back up.
You basically must disappoint them*.

If you can do that, you have walked off of the pedestal.
You drop the stress, and everything associated with it.

I know it's hard, but it's necessary.
Mental problems are known and proven to cause other side-effects, like physical sicknesses and disabilities when the mental problems are triggered.

Besides, it's not good for you to keep toxic people around you.
The moment you walk off the pedestal, you'll know who keeps you around for the shiny pedestal factor, and who keeps you around for being the sacred statue you are, and no matter how run-down or damaged your statue is, they'll keep you and cherish you.

Post Scriptum:
There is a difference between being liked for what you are and people appreciating your decency, and people forcing modifiers they want and expect of you onto you.

For example, if you slip up, and deviate from your usual self for whatever reason, and people still keep you, then you're not on a pedestal, and people genuinely want your statue around regardless of its state.

If you deviate, and you're met with huge negative feedback mumbling something like "I didn't know you were like this" or "I didn't expect this of you", then you're placed onto a pedestal by others, and you must eliminate them out of your life.

You are you, and they have no right to force THEIR vision onto you.
...especially if they aren't your mother.


* Please note that it's okay to disappoint people, it's not really okay to offend them for something they might not have done intentionally. Try to convey your feelings conscisely, and try to stay civil until they turn rude.