If you're alone I can hook you up with TWO hot pussies. One's fat and meaty (all the more to love, eh?) and the other is somewhat skinny, curvacious, and feisty. You'll just have to abandon your owner and live with me. (^-^)
Every so often there's some really old guy walking for a year or two across the country naked, and stuff like that appears in the news when he gets near civilization