Could the backwards long jump be deadly in real life? (Super Mario 64 physics theory)

[CupheadtheCritic]

You know what BLJ is already, as I see your blistered thumb from your reckless behavior on the N64 trying to make a 0 star speedrun.

But here's the thing, how DEADLY could the maneuver be in real life based on the laws of physics?

Well, the higher the slope you BLJ off of, the more speed you can pick up, leading to achieving beyond the speed of light, which is DANGEROUS because it can lead to a Supersonic Boom, which can rip a hole in the Space-Time Continuum, leading to the world collapsing before the eyes of God, who said "Let there be Backwards Long Jumps so that I can fix my biggest mistake."

But hey, ThAT's JuSt A tHeOrY-

 

[Kioku]

yes

 

[M7L7NK7]

I can't even long jump forwards

 

[CupheadtheCritic]

yes

YA-HOO! YA-HOO! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA-HOO!

 

[Kwyjor]

leading to achieving beyond the speed of light, which is DANGEROUS because it can lead to a Supersonic Boom, which can rip a hole in the Space-Time Continuum

I'm not interested in trying to run the numbers, but I'm pretty sure that even the advanced zero-A-press techniques, where people spend dozens of hours building up negative speed, still feature speeds orders of magnitude less than the speed of light.

Also the speed of light does not work that way. At all.
https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/

 

[hippy dave]

Blow Long Job

 

[JuanMena]

15 years old?

You survived school for this?

Post automatically merged: Apr 6, 2023

You went to school, right?

 

[SylverReZ]

You went to school, right?

You survive on blowjobs cause you didn't get a job?

 

[CupheadtheCritic]

I'm not interested in trying to run the numbers, but I'm pretty sure that even the advanced zero-A-press techniques, where people spend dozens of hours building up negative speed, still feature speeds orders of magnitude less than the speed of light.

Also the speed of light does not work that way. At all.
https://what-if.xkcd.com/1/

This was a Game Theory parody because MatPat is a dumbass who got all Fs growing up