Difficult first date questions

[some1whodeletedhisaccount]

There are certain questions I ask on the first date but there are also other questions I want to ask but don't.

The questions I do ask are the easy ones like "do you smoke?" and "do you have any tattoos?".

Some questions are difficult but not impossible to ask. If I want to know if my date uses drugs (and if she does, our first date will also be our last) I might say "I saw an article on the news about weed being legalised. What do you think of it?"

The questions I want to ask but don't is "do you have an STD?".

I've tried thinking of various ways to tactfully and indirectly ask but they don't sound right and I've never tried actually asking. The closest I've gotten is asking about her previous relationships. An option I've thought of but haven't tried is asking whether she's applied for a work or study visa which requires a health checkup.

Some of the wordings I've thought of are "I had a sexual health checkup a few months ago and lucky for me I tested negative to everything.", change the subject to travelling then say "some of my friends told me to visit the red light district in <insert country here> but I wasn't willing to risk getting a disease" and "monkeypox seems to be a big issue among the gay community right now. Sometimes I get paranoid that it might mutate to become more contagious.".

So how would you ask your date about their sexual health or seek this information?

 

[Hayato213]

You got weird first date questions lol

 

[TraderPatTX]

The only question I have is, "How does $500 sound?"

 

[dragonblood9999]

On my 1st date with the girl I'm currently dating, we asked what video games we play, types of music and movies we like, if i liked anime and if i did what kinds, if I have any pets and what kinds of pets, would any girl be upset with me if she talks to me, foods we liked, if we drink or smoke cigarettes or weed(she does weed and I honestly dont care she does)sexual kinks and fetishes we had.

I told her I didn't drink much, honestly I don't remember the last time I drank enough to get drunk. I do vape sometimes but don't really smoke weed itself(not that I had a problem with her doing it), told her i didnt do any drugs and she told me nothing other than weed, I asked her if she was OK with reptiles and other pet like that, she said she really likes frogs. So I sent her some pictures of my frog. She was hesitant in telling me her kink/fetish cause some people get scared off, she told me what it wad and I told her it wasn't that bad and I wouldn't be scared off because of it. It's nothing gross or anything and I had a LOT of friends that are open with me about their fetishes. Some definitely disgusting imo. I told her mine which is pretty vanilla imo.

We've been on a couple of dates now and I really like her. Honestly I'm probably a 5.5 or 6/10 and she's a solid 9/10

Basically we just did random small talk.

 

[Veho]

I take it "are you perchance a wanton disease ridden junkie whore" doesn't go over well?

 

[subcon959]

I think it's a little weird asking about sexual health on the first date. You might as well get her to pee on a stick or bring a nurse with you.

 

[Stwert]

In my experience, before I got married and became a good boy, being concerned about sexual health on a first date is definitely a concern, but then, I was a huge hoe bag

 

[some1whodeletedhisaccount]

I take it "are you perchance a wanton disease ridden junkie whore" doesn't go over well?

You try it first and let me know how it goes.

 

[AmandaRose]

There are certain questions I ask on the first date but there are also other questions I want to ask but don't.

The questions I do ask are the easy ones like "do you smoke?" and "do you have any tattoos?".

Some questions are difficult but not impossible to ask. If I want to know if my date uses drugs (and if she does, our first date will also be our last) I might say "I saw an article on the news about weed being legalised. What do you think of it?"

The questions I want to ask but don't is "do you have an STD?".

I've tried thinking of various ways to tactfully and indirectly ask but they don't sound right and I've never tried actually asking. The closest I've gotten is asking about her previous relationships. An option I've thought of but haven't tried is asking whether she's applied for a work or study visa which requires a health checkup.

Some of the wordings I've thought of are "I had a sexual health checkup a few months ago and lucky for me I tested negative to everything.", change the subject to travelling then say "some of my friends told me to visit the red light district in <insert country here> but I wasn't willing to risk getting a disease" and "monkeypox seems to be a big issue among the gay community right now. Sometimes I get paranoid that it might mutate to become more contagious.".

So how would you ask your date about their sexual health or seek this information?

What weird questions for a first date. If you were asking me them I would politely excuse myself by saying I was going to the toilet or something then I would be outta there in a flash.

 

[DBlaze]

are you on a date or are you conducting an interview? cause it sounds like the latter

 

[some1whodeletedhisaccount]

What weird questions for a first date. If you were asking me them I would politely excuse myself by saying I was going to the toilet or something then I would be outta there in a flash.

Thank you for your feedback. Maybe that's why I'm still single.

 

[DaniPoo]

Damn, you are overthinking things.

I don't know how you found this date but if you are using Tinder or something like that then you should probably state in your profile what you are looking for and what you want to avoid.. That way you don't have to ask any awkward questions later.

Otherwise, just observe your date on the first date, Like if your date is smoking or doing any drugs then you can just thank him/her for a nice date and just don't agree to another one.
If you're anything like me, then personal chemistry is the most important thing to check for on the first date. basically, do you enjoy each others company and do you both want a second date.

About the tattoos, I don't know why that matters to you but you can either just find out on your own..
Or you can just improvise, like if you see someone with a tattoo you can probably just remark. Something like "Wow, look at that tattoo! Do you have any tattoo's?". Make it a casual question.

What you don't want to do on any date is an interrogation.
Don't just sit there and ask your date questions, talk about yourself as well and tell some stories.
Fun casual "unfiltered" chitchat like you do with your friends.

Your date is probably also curious if you are the right person, and the only way to know is if you are yourself.

Also about the sexual health, perhaps you can use protection the first time and if he/she ask you to remove it then you could bring up the sexual health concerns.

 

[Maximumbeans]

So how would you ask your date about their sexual health or seek this information?

I wouldn't.

But back when I occasionally dated people I was doing it to meet someone and not just get laid, so that wasn't at the forefront of my thoughts.

EDIT: I can see that you're genuinely looking for input on these things and not just trolling, so let me add to this:

I can understand having a lot of questions for your date if you genuinely are open to being in a relationship with the person you're meeting, but you can't just ask them questions that are so incisive and somewhat personal. Yes, a date is to get to know somebody more closely, but going for questions like this will often turn people off because it makes it more like an interview or a business transaction. It's better to learn these things as you just talk and converse naturally, without trying to finesse your questions in sneakily (because anybody with a brain will pick up on what you're trying to do anyway).

 

[The Catboy]

I've mostly dated friends and tend to not treat first dates as if I am just meeting someone for the first time. I don't really understand dates like that, seems kind of strange to me.

 

[Marc_LFD]

Thank you for your feedback. Maybe that's why I'm still single.

Ah, sometimes it's better to be single than with bad company.

This way, you're not paying someone else's bills, screaming at you or asking you for money.