How would you dispose of a body?

[ThatDudeWithTheFood]

I'd put it in a Gym bag then take my heli out for a "spin" across oceans. SADLY my gym bag fell while helicoptering over the Atlantic.

 

[elimist]

What if the drain gets clogged? surely it won't completely dissolve?

@Raika: Skills

No cloggin. It would dissolve completely when given enough acid. The only problem is that I'd have to make sure if the pipes are metal or not, plastic pipes would heat up and melt.

and metal pipes would turn into hydronium ions and hydrogen gas...

 

[signz]

Cut, slash and crush it into little pieces and flush those down the toilet.

 

[nando]

why dispose of it when there are so many fun things you can do with it?

 

[KingdomBlade]

Churn it into a juice and sell it on Ebay.

 

[Sterling]

For a serious answer, if I killed someone in a fit of rage, I would have no chance of a premeditated disposal plan. If I whipped a gun out and shot him, I would have to make sure to do whatever quickly. Also, the place has an effect on what you do. Scenario: I make a move on a guy's ex girlfriend, he knocks her out, and since I like this woman, I beat the living shit out of the guy and knock him out. Keep in mind, I'm behind the restaurant because I was making out with her. Still mad, I see a glass bottle in the garbage and beat him and cut him until there is no way that I could have reconcile. He's starting to gush, so I grab that garbage can and use it to maximum effect. Then I clean up the small pool of blood and clean up the glass with my jacket. Starting to think, I then place a note in the girl's pocket that tells her, he beat her, and then knocked me out as well. I know where he went and tell her I'd tell the restaurant owner what happened and ask him to call the police and stay with her while I make a run to the pharmacy and grab a few medications for pain and smelling salts. After taking the unconscious woman inside, I come back out and grab the garbage can and take it to his car. Thinking on my feet, I slash my tires to blame it on the bastard, and provide an excuse to say that I had to walk and that's why I took so long. So, as I drive, I figure out where this guy lives and take him to the place, and then I decide to make it look like an accident. So I bring the body in and extract it. Making sure to place it somewhere the blood won't seep. I find a candle Which I light, and then I knock it over onto something combustible (I wipe it clean before hand). As I walk out, I wipe the door knob clean. I then take the trash bag and trash can with me (I dispose of it later). I also removed the smoke detector battery and put into a draw (After gingerly eliminating all of my presence). As I make sure the house is burning and the body has been consumed by flames, I call the fire department and tell them that I was driving by and saw smoke. Tell them the address and leave. I left the car in the garage where it will burn too. I call an acquaintance (That no one knows that I am friends with) to pick me up at the the Pharmacy where I was now headed. After getting the drugs, I then get him to drop me off half a mile from the restaurant. Where I walk back too, and then I start spinning the lies from there. Making sure to keep my story straight.

Eh, you can never tell what sort of situation you're gonna be in. Where you might have done it. How much sanity you'd have and such.

 

[ineap09]

Spoiler

For a serious answer, if I killed someone in a fit of rage, I would have no chance of a premeditated disposal plan. If I whipped a gun out and shot him, I would have to make sure to do whatever quickly. Also, the place has an effect on what you do. Scenario: I make a move on a guy's ex girlfriend, he knocks her out, and since I like this woman, I beat the living shit out of the guy and knock him out. Keep in mind, I'm behind the restaurant because I was making out with her. Still mad, I see a glass bottle in the garbage and beat him and cut him until there is no way that I could have reconcile. He's starting to gush, so I grab that garbage can and use it to maximum effect. Then I clean up the small pool of blood and clean up the glass with my jacket. Starting to think, I then place a note in the girl's pocket that tells her, he beat her, and then knocked me out as well. I know where he went and tell her I'd tell the restaurant owner what happened and ask him to call the police and stay with her while I make a run to the pharmacy and grab a few medications for pain and smelling salts. After taking the unconscious woman inside, I come back out and grab the garbage can and take it to his car. Thinking on my feet, I slash my tires to blame it on the bastard, and provide an excuse to say that I had to walk and that's why I took so long. So, as I drive, I figure out where this guy lives and take him to the place, and then I decide to make it look like an accident. So I bring the body in and extract it. Making sure to place it somewhere the blood won't seep. I find a candle Which I light, and then I knock it over onto something combustible (I wipe it clean before hand). As I walk out, I wipe the door knob clean. I then take the trash bag and trash can with me (I dispose of it later). I also removed the smoke detector battery and put into a draw (After gingerly eliminating all of my presence). As I make sure the house is burning and the body has been consumed by flames, I call the fire department and tell them that I was driving by and saw smoke. Tell them the address and leave. I left the car in the garage where it will burn too. I call an acquaintance (That no one knows that I am friends with) to pick me up at the the Pharmacy where I was now headed. After getting the drugs, I then get him to drop me off half a mile from the restaurant. Where I walk back too, and then I start spinning the lies from there. Making sure to keep my story straight.

Eh, you can never tell what sort of situation you're gonna be in. Where you might have done it. How much sanity you'd have and such.

I see opportunities for witnesses to see your strange behavior and report it to the police. Will there be no one who sees you slash your tires? Will no one see you carry the body in his house? Will no one see you leave a now burning house?

 

[ProtoKun7]

Before anyone asks: no, I've not killed anyone.
[...]
Again, I've not killed anyone.

Suuuure you haven't.

Anyway, shoot it into the sun? Black hole?
Or even just into space unprotected and it would probably explode from the pressure differential.

 

[Demonbart]

Burn it. Burn it with fire.

 

[Venenodecobra]

Well, the easy way to do it is to cut the human body in a way that they can fit 7 bags of trash, or trow it in a deep lake.

 

[Saken]

I would probably eat it.
Delicious...

 

[Sterling]

Spoiler

For a serious answer, if I killed someone in a fit of rage, I would have no chance of a premeditated disposal plan. If I whipped a gun out and shot him, I would have to make sure to do whatever quickly. Also, the place has an effect on what you do. Scenario: I make a move on a guy's ex girlfriend, he knocks her out, and since I like this woman, I beat the living shit out of the guy and knock him out. Keep in mind, I'm behind the restaurant because I was making out with her. Still mad, I see a glass bottle in the garbage and beat him and cut him until there is no way that I could have reconcile. He's starting to gush, so I grab that garbage can and use it to maximum effect. Then I clean up the small pool of blood and clean up the glass with my jacket. Starting to think, I then place a note in the girl's pocket that tells her, he beat her, and then knocked me out as well. I know where he went and tell her I'd tell the restaurant owner what happened and ask him to call the police and stay with her while I make a run to the pharmacy and grab a few medications for pain and smelling salts. After taking the unconscious woman inside, I come back out and grab the garbage can and take it to his car. Thinking on my feet, I slash my tires to blame it on the bastard, and provide an excuse to say that I had to walk and that's why I took so long. So, as I drive, I figure out where this guy lives and take him to the place, and then I decide to make it look like an accident. So I bring the body in and extract it. Making sure to place it somewhere the blood won't seep. I find a candle Which I light, and then I knock it over onto something combustible (I wipe it clean before hand). As I walk out, I wipe the door knob clean. I then take the trash bag and trash can with me (I dispose of it later). I also removed the smoke detector battery and put into a draw (After gingerly eliminating all of my presence). As I make sure the house is burning and the body has been consumed by flames, I call the fire department and tell them that I was driving by and saw smoke. Tell them the address and leave. I left the car in the garage where it will burn too. I call an acquaintance (That no one knows that I am friends with) to pick me up at the the Pharmacy where I was now headed. After getting the drugs, I then get him to drop me off half a mile from the restaurant. Where I walk back too, and then I start spinning the lies from there. Making sure to keep my story straight.

Eh, you can never tell what sort of situation you're gonna be in. Where you might have done it. How much sanity you'd have and such.

I see opportunities for witnesses to see your strange behavior and report it to the police. Will there be no one who sees you slash your tires? Will no one see you carry the body in his house? Will no one see you leave a now burning house?

Therein lies the problem with killing people in fits of rage. You have no predefined plan, witnesses are plentiful, and your sanity will be on edge from then on. Guilt knows no bounds. This is the problem with speculation. We aren't all cold blooded killers, not all of us have predefined plans to follow (If you do, there may be something wrong with you), and if your like me, the guilt will destroy you more than that jail cell and butt [censored] will. At a moments notice, most of us would just lose it and throw it into a dumpster and walk away.

 

[Depravo]

I wouldn't dispose of it. I'd keep it and treasure it forever.

 

[Venenodecobra]

I wouldn't dispose of it. I'd keep it and treasure it forever.

troll;

 

[Satangel]

Spoiler

For a serious answer, if I killed someone in a fit of rage, I would have no chance of a premeditated disposal plan. If I whipped a gun out and shot him, I would have to make sure to do whatever quickly. Also, the place has an effect on what you do. Scenario: I make a move on a guy's ex girlfriend, he knocks her out, and since I like this woman, I beat the living shit out of the guy and knock him out. Keep in mind, I'm behind the restaurant because I was making out with her. Still mad, I see a glass bottle in the garbage and beat him and cut him until there is no way that I could have reconcile. He's starting to gush, so I grab that garbage can and use it to maximum effect. Then I clean up the small pool of blood and clean up the glass with my jacket. Starting to think, I then place a note in the girl's pocket that tells her, he beat her, and then knocked me out as well. I know where he went and tell her I'd tell the restaurant owner what happened and ask him to call the police and stay with her while I make a run to the pharmacy and grab a few medications for pain and smelling salts. After taking the unconscious woman inside, I come back out and grab the garbage can and take it to his car. Thinking on my feet, I slash my tires to blame it on the bastard, and provide an excuse to say that I had to walk and that's why I took so long. So, as I drive, I figure out where this guy lives and take him to the place, and then I decide to make it look like an accident. So I bring the body in and extract it. Making sure to place it somewhere the blood won't seep. I find a candle Which I light, and then I knock it over onto something combustible (I wipe it clean before hand). As I walk out, I wipe the door knob clean. I then take the trash bag and trash can with me (I dispose of it later). I also removed the smoke detector battery and put into a draw (After gingerly eliminating all of my presence). As I make sure the house is burning and the body has been consumed by flames, I call the fire department and tell them that I was driving by and saw smoke. Tell them the address and leave. I left the car in the garage where it will burn too. I call an acquaintance (That no one knows that I am friends with) to pick me up at the the Pharmacy where I was now headed. After getting the drugs, I then get him to drop me off half a mile from the restaurant. Where I walk back too, and then I start spinning the lies from there. Making sure to keep my story straight.

Eh, you can never tell what sort of situation you're gonna be in. Where you might have done it. How much sanity you'd have and such.

I see opportunities for witnesses to see your strange behavior and report it to the police. Will there be no one who sees you slash your tires? Will no one see you carry the body in his house? Will no one see you leave a now burning house?

Therein lies the problem with killing people in fits of rage. You have no predefined plan, witnesses are plentiful, and your sanity will be on edge from then on. Guilt knows no bounds. This is the problem with speculation. We aren't all cold blooded killers, not all of us have predefined plans to follow (If you do, there may be something wrong with you), and if your like me, the guilt will destroy you more than that jail cell and butt [censored] will. At a moments notice, most of us would just lose it and throw it into a dumpster and walk away.

So true, if you've just killed somebody in a blind rage, you'll be panicking like hell and either just leave the body there, or carry it to your car and dump it in some kind of water.
Both methods are very likely to get caught.

 

[FAST6191]

Even if it was a rage it depends where I am, how much time I reasonably have to get things done and who I have killed- flashy forensics cost a fortune after all and most places tend to only go in for it to help assure a conviction and the like rather than as "due diligence". Chances are I would have to go the hidden killer rather than everybody is afraid to testify route.

Somewhere poor and I would skimp on it but somewhere rich and I go nuclear as it were- nobody cares about a murder (or indeed missing persons for a nobody) when things are not going well outside (few explosions and/or massive flood of high grade synthetic narcotics- clandestine chemistry is not that difficult). Misdirection is also quite useful- if their credit cards are active for a few weeks after going missing or something better (if they can bring dead rappers back as robots I reckon I can do something too)....... I doubt I would be good enough, especially for an unplanned killing, but if I could fit someone up for it then that would be an option.

As for disposal acid and/or thermite are summoned easily enough and there is almost always a dodgy guy running a cremation service/one I can misappropriate. Similarly after you have perhaps mopped up (assuming a bloody kill) what you can then spray some other evidence around. Amplifying evidence/tracking down something I might have missed (I can barely clean up a nosebleed as it is happening let alone some nice blood spray or a fight as it is still fresh- oh to be a sociopath) is considerably easier than filtering evidence after all.

Alibi maybe- I find myself "implausibly" far away shortly after the events then that is good. If I can explain my presence somewhere that is better.

Re call the police to help: alas my life as international criminal has thus far not taken off and paying off the filth is an expensive game.

Guilt- if I have had to actually clench a fist then chances are the now dead party was in the wrong or it was otherwise them or me. In the event of it being a medical condition or something I reckon I could live with that.

After that I would hope I did well enough to at least get the police to tip their hand at some point allowing me to vanish* if I even cared enough to try and stick around the place I did the deed in.

*this one could be interesting as I am not well geared for it.

@Blaze163 you really think a far reaching DNA database is a good idea? Even leaving aside the impracticality of the affair (small suspect pools being better for evidence purposes and what have you) I can not bring myself to trust the police and government let alone some of the more interesting debates that might arise (I find the idea of familial testing abhorrent although I guess if it was that far reaching it would not be as necessary).

 

[TLSS_N]

If I had to get rid of a body???

hmm, I guess I would have to list the steps below.

Spoiler: steps

1.place a piece of card board onto the bottom of your shoes securing it so that there are no prints.
2.Place a generous amount of glue on both of your hands, so that your finger prints and/or palm prints would not leave any evidence behind.
3. put on a pair of old clothes.
4.put a pair of elastic gloves on, not leather gloves as they leave prints.
5. carefully place the body in a bag, carry it to the bath tub and remove it from said container.
6. fill the bathtub about 1/6th of the way, slit both wrists to drain as much blood as possible. that way, the body is lighter to carry.
7. once the body is devoid of blood, burn the skin around where the wrists where slit, dry off the clothing with a hair drier.
8.clean up the bathtub, move the body to a room with a chair, cover it with flammable liquid, and proceed to pour said liquid around the hose for later.
9. take two candles, a tool box and a generous amount of sting into the next room, place the toolbox above a glass jar filled with said liquid, surrounded by said liquid.
10. tie the string to the toolbox, place the other candle on top of the toolbox and light it up now that it is floating in mid air, place the other candle just far enough from the base of the string so that the flame cannot catch the string on fire, but that the heat elevating from the wick, will over time weaken the string, the tension from the weight of the toolbox will cause the string to snap.
11. call a friend ask them if they would like to go out and do something, upon leaving, light the candle.
12. once in the car, and on the road. throw the gloves out the window, at a red light, rub the glue off of your hands out the window.
13. once you have met up with your friend go to the bathroom and wash the rest of the glue off of your hands. Start to head to wherever you where going, and then claim you forgot your cash, and that on the way to his/her house, your car started acting up. ask them to follow you home in case the car dies.
14. once you arrive at your place of residence, you discover that the hose is on fire, call the police.
15. claim that when you had left, the person wasn't at your residence, that he must have came in and committed suicide.

you have an alibi, your prints aren't anywhere on the victim, and any evidence has been destroyed.


Many thanks to gosho ayomata for the ideas!

 

[Guild McCommunist]

1. Chop the dude up.
2. Put his parts in plastic bags (must be thick enough for no leakage/deterioration!)
3. Go onto your boat (A Slice of Life) and dump them offshore from Miami.
4. Lock Doakes in a cage so he doesn't tell the cops on you.
5. Eventually have your psycho ex-girlfriend blow up Doakes in a massive explosion.

Pretty simple.

 

[Infinite Zero]

I'm not that strong so I would try to find a way how to bring it to the river. XD

 

[Paka]

This came up in forensics courses I took in college, lol. Best way might be, if you can do it undetected, is to bury it as deep, far away from the original scene in the middle of nowhere. Burning and water disposal tends to be ineffective, and chopping it up is one of the worst things you can do since it leaves marks as evidence that can be linked to the tools. Most of the searches will be in the area usually unless they have a lead, and dogs can sniff out buried bodies, or places where dead bodies have been (so you want to do it quickly as you can, before they start leaking decomp fluids). There is some luck involved with any method though.