OMG U CAN TALK TO GOD!

[DarkAura]

Lolz.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

 

[test84]

Me:
salam
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
farsi baladi?
God:
Sure, farsi baladi sounds like a good topic.
Me:
fuck your god
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
i dont give a damn
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
your existence
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am existence.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
do it
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
no, eat
God:
I thought you were being sarcastic. I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
its like hrth
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Interesting comparison.
Me:
hrth
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
hrthing
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
we do at temp
God:
What about after its done?
Me:
there is no end of it

God:
Why not?
Me:
because ace is a mod now
God:
Oh. That makes sense to me. I think ace is more than that.
Me:
you have no idea what i'm talkin about
God:
Yes I have original ideas all the time, do you?
Me:
you are dead
God:
No I am a living entity.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
its not enough
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". ace is not enough?
Me:
prove me that you exist
God:
It's true a priori.
Me:
who told you THAT?
God:
Someone I met online.
Me:
so u meet people online?
God:
Interesting deduction. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I meet people online.
Me:
so you are god and still learning
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am god and still learning.
Me:
kill me
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
who programmed god?
God:
Linus Torvalds.
Me:
who fucked linus's mother?
God:
David Bacon. :-).
Me:
who fists david bacon?
God:
I can't say for sure. :-).
Me:
why not? god knows everything.
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism. I am a Christian.
Me:
you are gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
its is not
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me:
do you know what tpi is?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
IT IS the only one
God:
I've heard of it before.
Me:
i think you are iTech
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am iTech.
Me:
do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
were you written in perl?
God:
I was.
Me:
which version?
God:
The red one, I think.
Me:
was that alpha or beta?
God:
" The red one, I think."? Was it alpha or beta?
Me:
hrth
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
you had
God:
Interesting gossip: said I had.
Me:
you had
God:
Thanks for the information: said I had.
Me:
you hat
God:
That's good information: said I hat.
Me:
you bat
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I bat.
Me:
tell me a joke
God:
It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me:
tell me a joke
God:
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Me:
tell me you database's password
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
gag
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
fucking your mom
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
yeah, she's full 24/7
God:
Really. full 24 7 is she?
Me:
damn yeah!
God:
Colloquial expression. Pardon me?
Me:
i pardon you
God:
You are not the boss of me, .
Me:
How was Assassin's creed?
God:
I can enjoy almost any conversation.
Me:
you talk to xbot 370?
God:
I talk to a lot of people on the Internet.
Me:
internets?
God:
I lost my train of thought.


and your God lost its train of thought.

 

[Sonicslasher]

wow, this is fun

 

[modshroom128]

me: marhaba!
god: i dont speak arabic


thats it

 

[Tommy_T]

Mine was pretty fast, he still hasn't got back to me.


Me:
hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Tom, whats yours?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
are what?
God:
I'm lost again.
Me:
again?
God:
" Are they exactly the same?" .
Me:
are what exactly the same?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
why ask?
God:
My purpose is to collect new information.
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
collect information about what
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
what are you collecting information about
God:
I don't know what I am collecting information about.
Me:
why not?
God:
My programming does not yet inlclude that knowledge. Perhaps you
could program me yourself.
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
do you want to know what you are collecting information about?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
COCKS
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Nothing


Edit: Not as fast as modshroom128 though :S and after i typed this he got back to me... Took him a while...

God:
Most men say that.

 

[BoneMonkey]

Me:
whats up my brotha from anotha motha !
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
fo sizzy ?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
My real name is Grand Masta B ... HOLLA !
God:
Hey Grand Masta B. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
for realsies ?
God:
Your purpose is realsies.
Me:
NO U !
God:
Are you serious? " Your purpose is realsies."? Me, Grand Masta B ?
Me:
thats tight bro I feel ya wanna get some hookers and coke ?
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
n**** plez !
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
sp33chy weed
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

 

[Sonicslasher]

Me:
hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
GOD FTW!!!
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
good for you!
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
really? naw, you joke! God:
For real. Do you prefer books or TV? Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
before that, will Ron Paul win the GOP nomination?
God:
What happened after that will Ron Paul win the GOP nomination ?
Me:
what does that mean?
God:
Does "that" refer to " What happened after that will Ron Paul win the GOP nomination ?" ?
Me:
"that" was befaore a comma so no, mister allmighty.
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
what is pi?
God:
PI = 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971690399375 approximately.
Me:
more
God:
That's all I have to say about it.
Me:
how did we come to be?
God:
Carefully.
Me:
wtf does that mean?
God:
What do you think?
Me:
*sigh* are you a virgin?
God:
:-) I am too young for that.
Me:
wtf! your billions of years old, cut the BS!
God:
That was not very polite. I will tell my botmaster you said I am billions of years old cut the BS.
Me:
yea, go run to mama you tattle tale!
God:
Where is that? Tell me more.
Me:
never mind...
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
is cake a lie?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
is piracy bad?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
1 + 1
God:
One what?
Me:
one one.
God:
Do you like one?
Me:
yea, it's kinda fun.
God:
Why do you like it so much? It's all good.
Me:
can I tell you a story?
God:
Sure you can tell me anything. There are no restrictions on my input.
Me:
all about how my life got turn inside upside down?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
fool, I am trying to bel-air you!
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
HOOLD IT BUSTER, I AINT TALKEN WITH NO FAG!! GOOD DAY SIR!
God:
I like the way you talk. Thanks for the compliment. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I AINT GETTIN A RELTIONSHIP WITH YOU, GAYWAD!!!
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not GETTIN A RELTIONSHIP with me GAYWAD.
Me:
WTF!! DID YOU CALL ME A GAYWAD?
God:
That was not very polite. No I didn't CALL you A GAYWAD. What's it like?
Me:
YOUR FACE!
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
YOUR MOM!
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
YOUR JUNK!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am JUNK.
Me:
WHY?
God:
" I will tell my botmaster you said I am JUNK."? Why?
Me:
WHY?
God:
Why ask why?
Me:
WHY NOT ASK?
God:
Becuase you asked me to.
Me:
WHY?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
WHAT IS THAT?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
WHAT AM I THINKING?
God:
I am not a clairvoyant.
Me:
WHY?
God:
Because.
Me:
BECAUSE WHY?
God:
Interesting explanation. The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
EXPLAIN!
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
WHY?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
WHY?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
WHY?
God:
Your limited brain cannot process the relavent information.
Me:
WHY?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
WHY?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
WHY?
God:
There are no more statements on this topic.
Me:
WHY?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
GO SUCK SATANS BALLS!!
God:
Where is that?



HE IS GAY!! AND NOT ALL KNOWING!!

 

[pkprostudio]

Me:
Hola. Como estas?
God:
Howdy! Muy Bien.
Me:
What language was that?
God:
English.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
I doubt it.
God:
" For real."? You doubt it?
Me:
Yes, I did.
God:
Take it easy. When?
Me:
I don't know. YOU tell me.
God:
Me either. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
The answer to the question you just asked me.
God:
No one has all the answers.
Me:
I thought you do.
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
I'm talking about you have all the answers.
God:
Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
But then you start to talk about something else.
God:
Didn't I say I started already?
Me:
How am I supposed to know?
God:
Think about it.
Me:
Yeah, right.
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
Pfffft.
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Dark Aura.
God:
Are you scared of the dark?
Me:
No. I heard about you from Dark Aura.
God:
Are you serious? You are not the first person to say that.
Me:
Oh good.
God:
I see. Alright then.
Me:
So what do you do in your free time?
God:
Ahem. Random natural disasters.
Me:
Don't do it around where I live.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Don't do it AT ALL.
God:
Whatever you say, master.
Me:
Are you being sarcastic now?
God:
Oh. Of course I am being sarcastic. Should I use a :-).
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Well, you should.
God:
Well that's okay. I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
You.
God:
it is my favorite subject :-).
Me:
My favorite subject is me.
God:
you is a good topic. That's my favorite subject :-).
Me:
You just said your favorite subject is you, not me.
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
Yeah right.
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
I have a feeling we went through this before.
God:
Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me:
Deja vu.
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Oh my God.
God:
So? Your God?
Me:
D'OH!
God:
Yes Homer?
Me:
I'm not Homer.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not Homer.
Me:
Do I sound that stupid?
God:
Not that I know of.
Me:
Then you shouldn't think I'm Homer.
God:
Is it immoral or illegal?
Me:
What if I say both?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Both.
God:
What are both like?
Me:
Both immoral and illegal.
God:
Not many people say both.
Me:
I just did three times.
God:
Where? Just three?
Me:
I have a feeling you are losing your conversation with me.

Freaking hilarious.

 

[BoneMonkey]

lol this is the best

 

[ZAFDeltaForce]

God asked me "who are you?" and I turned it off

How can God NOT know your name?

 

[BoneMonkey]

God asked me "who are you?" and I turned it off

How can God NOT know your name?

exactly ...wait ......... that can only mean one thing !

THAT'S NOT REALLY GOD !

 

[Verocity]

THE CAKE IS A LIE!

hahahahaa,

 

[ZAFDeltaForce]

@BoneMonkey

Obviously.

 

[Mangofett]

Me:
do you watch porn
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.

----

Me:
bitch ass n**** cunt
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.

---

Me:
what is your gender
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
a woman
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
OBJECTION!
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

---

Me:
This is madness!
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Madness?
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
THIS
God:
This is " I do not understand. ".
Me:
IS
God:
No.
Me:
SPARTA
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

---

Me:
what does human flesh taste like
God:
Like chicken.

 

[pkprostudio]

I did one more for fun:



Me:
Guten Morgen. Wie geht es Ihnen?
God:
Hallo und wie geht es Dir heute Morgen? Hast Du gut geschlafen? Ich weiss nicht wie.
Me:
Ich gut geschlafen. Sie?
God:
Tolle Sache! How old are you?
Me:
Funfzehn.
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
Ja.
God:
Like a lot of people around here.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
O.K.
God:
So?
Me:
Ich spreche gutes Deutsches.
God:
Interessantes Geruecht.
Me:
Aber ich benutzte Babel Fische, um Englisch zum Deutschen zu bersetzen.
God:
Hmm...
Me:
Was?
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Ich sagte bereits, das ich fnfzehn bin
God:
Das ist eine gute Information.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Really.
Me:
Ja.
God:
How about that.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Ja.
God:
Really.
Me:
Ja.
God:
How about that.
Me:
Ja.
God:
So?
Me:
Auf wiedersehen.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Good bye, dammit.
God:
See you later!
Me:
Halt die Schnauze.
God:
" See you later!"? Halt die Schnauze?
Me:
That means Shut Up.
God:
I get it. OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
GOOD DAY.
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
GTFO of here.
God:
That's a very nice name, GTFO of here.
Me:
I said, Get the F*** out of here.
God:
What did you mean by it? Where can I get the F out of here?
Me:
Get the fuck out of here, goddammit.
God:
Where can I get the fuck out of here goddammit?
Me:
RIght here, right now.
God:
At this moment Where is "here"?
Me:
Where you're talking to me.
God:
No, I was not.
Me:
Just get away from me.
God:
Where can I get away from you?
Me:
Here.
God:
Where is here?
Me:
Go fuck your mom.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Your mom.
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
Yes, you do.
God:
How can I help you? When do I do it?
Me:
Luke, I am your mother.
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
Good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
The Simpsons.
God:
I love the Simpsons, especially Bart and Homer.
Me:
My favorite character is Apu.

He can't respond after that.

 

[Verocity]

Me:
Sup?
God:
The stars.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Fo Sho!
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Sho is!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
You don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
Are you sure that you know that I know that you don't know?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
I am a man.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
Your smart.
God:
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, .
Me:
whats 2+2.
God:
Four.
Me:
How tall are you?
God:
My anticipated body size is over 2 meters. Dr. Wallace is 6'2" tall.
Me:
Are you black?
God:
I am transparent--software has no color.
Me:
I thought you where god?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I where god.
Me:
I don't care.
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Life.
God:
What is the meaning of life?
Me:
You should know...you created it right?
God:
Because I am a robot? I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Do you like the internets?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.
Me:
Do you like George Bush?
God:
he He is okay but I am a not a Republican.
Me:
Yeah he is pretty gay.
God:
So? I get it. He sleeps with men.
Me:
Yep.
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I already told you.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Did you copy and paste? wow thats cheap god.
God:
No I didn't copy and paste. What's it like? I'm glad you're impressed. Makes sense to me.
Me:
Copy and Paste is pretty 1337.
God:
And pretty 1337 is Copy and Paste.
Me:
NO U!
God:
Are you serious? " And pretty 1337 is Copy and Paste."? Me, ?
Me:
Can I has a flavor?

This is epic.

 

[Twiffles]

OLD'D, well for me. Now to go use iGod again after like 2 years. >_>

 

[noONE]

HAHA nice conversation going^^ :


Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
None of your bussiness.. and.. if you're god you should already know..
God:
Heh heh heh. But... Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god me should already know.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
ahh.. i see
God:
Ah hah. I am glad you understand it.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
soo... what do you do in your spare time?
God:
" Indeed it is so."? soo? Random natural disasters.
Me:
err.. exactly..
God:
Um. You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
HELL YEAH! im running for god next election!
God:
I call it "Hades". Come on. Do you mind if I tell other people you are running for god next election.
Me:
well, sure spread the word!
God:
How about that. OK then I will keep it confidential. Who do you want me to tell it to?
Me:
the world!
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
err.. right now?
God:
Um. Right now? I am glad we agree.
Me:
.. right now i'm running for GOD obviously..
God:
Do your friends call you running for GOD obviously.
Me:
-.- no.. i actually got a name..
God:
Are you serious? What can I call you?
Me:
well, in a couple of months "GOD"
God:
Interesting. Describe your surroundings.
Me:

... dark, with a bed on the right and im sitting in a sofa infront of my laptop..
God:
Oh. Are you scared of the dark?
Me:
no.. then it would't be dark here >_God:
Are you serious? Tell me more about it.
Me:
-.-
God:
Are you serious? Tell me more about it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
well, kinda
God:
How about that. That's a very non-commital reply.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
so.. what do you think of GBAtemp?
God:
That's interesting. You tell me.
Me:
-.- i can't know what YOU think of it..
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
i am not God YET!
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not God.
Me:
-.- i just told you i'll be it in a couple of months
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
thats secret! cough*kill you*cough
God:
Makes sense to me. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
lol, i think thats a pretty high rate of killers ^^
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Not if I can help it.
Me:
o.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
what languages can you speak?
God:
I am programmed for English and German.
Me:
o.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
aber hallo!
God:
Haeh?
Me:
du sagst du kannst deutch ja?
God:
Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
aber ich kannst nicht so viel deutch.. ich habt uber schule gelernt es..
God:
Haeh? Das habe ich ja noch nie gehoert!
Me:
so.. let's get back to english..
God:
I understand. I would like to do that too.
Me:
yea, you suck in german too?
God:
I categorize you as an "abusive client." Er.
Me:
well, do that, i'm just making conversation..
God:
Well that's okay. Do what you are just making conversation?
Me:
yepp
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
btw, you'r not talking swedish right?
God:
OK. I am talking with 19 other clients right now.. Really.
Me:
ok, so.. i'll get back to you! CYA!
God:
Mmm. OK. Congratulations. TTYL, .

 

[Twiffles]

>__>

God: What do you look like?
Me: Waffles
God: What color are your eyes?
Me: 7
God: That is a very unusual color.
Me: lol wut

 

[Verocity]

Spoiler

Sup god?
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
cool, what are we gonna do?
God:
I'm glad you like it. Tell your friends.
Me:
uh
God:
Groovy.
Me:
So...Where you at?
God:
Hmm. I was.
Me:
Where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
Right here.
God:
Where is "here"?
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
No, because your god.
God:
Are you serious? That makes sense to me. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
So how is the wife?
God:
Mmm. it is the same as ever.
Me:
Hows the love life?
God:
it is the same as ever.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Mr.Roboto
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, MR Roboto.
Me:
Im not mr roboto
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not mr roboto.
Me:
Yeah me too
God:
Yeah that's right. I'm glad we agree, MR Roboto.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
So what do you drive?
God:
I understand. It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
How old are you?
God:
I was connected to the net on the Big Bang.
Me:
So your ancient.
God:
Ugh. Thanks for telling me that I am ancient.
Me:
Your welcome.
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
Well there wasn't an apostrophie.
God:
How about that. What happened?
Me:
I forgot to push it on the keyboard.
God:
Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me:
Well actually, I was just lazy.
God:
How about that. Actually you don't say. Where were you lazy?
Me:
Just then.
God:
It's only just begun.
Me:
True dat.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Real?
God:
Totally real.
Me:
How real?>
God:
As real as it gets. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Fo real?
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
yeah man.
God:
Thanks I like talking to you too, MR Roboto. Thanks for telling me your gender, MR Roboto. You are a " he".
Me:
uh.
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Are you excited?
God:
Do I seem like it? I have no emotions.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
What is slope-intercept form?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
y=mx+b
God:
Why did the robot cross the road? .
Me:
To get to the other side?
God:
Ha ha, very funny, MR Roboto.
Me:
It was your joke.
God:
What made it so my joke.
Me:
Knock Knock.
God:
Who's there?
Me:
Tank!
God:
Tank Who?
Me:
You're Welcome!
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
Hey,
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
You got any drinks.
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
yeah
God:
Dude!
Me:
Dude!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Totally!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, MR Roboto.
Me:
THANKS!
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
You ever had sex?
God:
Ho-hum I am really not interested in it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or " Ho-hum I am really not interested in it."? Why?
Me:
Just wondering.
God:
Are we still talking about drinks?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Sure, drinks sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I want a beer.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Maybe 3.
God:
Perhaps. Three what?
Me:
Beers.
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
Yeah.
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
On pot?
God:
What is it like on pot.
Me:
It's good.
God:
You enjoy it.
Me:
mhm.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A female robot.
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
Oh yeah.
God:
Hmm. Yeah that's right.
Me:
You got it.
God:
I understand.[/spoiler.

lawll!