Thank you so much for the spelling/grammar fixes and going in to give it a really good look. I appreciate it a ton! Now that I'm home I'll be going in and making some changes to the game. For a more in-depth response (including some of my reasoning for a few things) please see below!
Keep hope in Father is a reference to the previous conversation with the Rainbow Sage, who tells the Avatar not to lose hope in their Father. The presence of and perseverance of hope in the avatar is one of their defining characteristics and an important theme in the story. The phrase is intended to convey to the audience that Corrin began their journey with hope, and is desperate to keep that hope alive while dealing with the tragedies that unfold in the story.
"But I have nightmares every night about the Hoshidans I've killed" is from the basegame paralogue between Corrin and Azura. They are a whole other can of worms that I didn't bother opening -- maybe when I finish the Revelations rewrite I'll go back and touch up on them, though!
For Glory! Iron Awake! is a subtle reference to an old friend and guildmate who held that as their battle cry. It's a rephrasing of the battlecry "Awake Iron!" which was used in the Middle Ages when entering battle to frighten foes and call forth their blades. Pretty cool!
Great point about the dashes instead of hyphens. I had a character error in the JPN version of the game and replaced them, but there's no reason for that in the ENG version. You're also spot on about some of the wording choices and lack of punctuation. Once I finish the Revelations re-write I plan on going back to both games and editing the text so that it flows better, along with adding emotes to the characters in game.
I LOVE the idea of giving a name to the Trade War. Maybe "Rejection of Iron" since weapons were what Nohr traded with, and it fits the peaceful Hoshidan motif.. Eh, something like that anyways!
"That you're here to take me back to that thing in Father's body so that-" I can definitely see how this would be confusing. This is part of three "That you are..." statements designed to emulate a flustered person. It begins with Corrin saying "I know what you are going to say. That I.." then spouting off an angry list of assumptions. However using "That" three times in one sentence is just asking for trouble. I'll switch it to "You're here to take me back to that THING in Father's body, so-" so that it makes a bit more sense.
"The throne purged him from this form." The wording for this was chosen to mirror Mikoto and Corrin's earlier statements about the throne being able to restore one's true form and mind. It's also intended to reveal that
the two were previously sharing a body. There may be a better way to describe the situation, but I enjoy the callback. I'll have to think about it.
Thank you! The Revelation rewrite is coming along steadily, although it is more difficult than I anticipated. Conquest was easy to write for since it already contained the ingredients for a compelling story. Revelation doesn't really have that -- it's more of a leftover potluck of story fragments -- so each chapter requires significantly more mental energy to connect events while keeping things interesting and being true to the cast. That said, I'm pretty happy with the way things are turning out. I'll be posting some screenshots of the first two or three chapters once I feel I've made enough progress to take a break. I appreciate the encouragement!
Excellent to hear that! If you ever need help, I'd be glad to lend a hand or two.