What is the absolute stupidest joke you know?

[hippy dave]

A priest, a convict, and a pedophile walk into a room... and that's just the first guy

 

[Creamu]

America is a free market economy.

 

[Gep_Etto]

How do you find out which one loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them in the trunk of your car for a whole afternoon, then open it up and see which one is happier to see you.

 

[The Real Jdbye]

2 Fish meet in the Sea.
Said one Fish to the other Fish
"Hi"
The other Fish
"WHERE ?!?!?!?!?"


(.....maybe you English People no understand dumb Joke.......
in German Language Shark is Hai...
so "Hi" sounds very similar to "Hai"....)

It kinda makes sense in norwegian too except that "Hi" is "Hei" which doesn't quite sound the same as "Hai".

 

[Dark_Phoras]

People are usually shocked when they find out that I'm not a good electrician.

 

[CraddaPoosta]

Roses are red
Violets are red
Everything is red
I have retinal hemorrhaging

 

[Gep_Etto]

Roses are red
Violets are red
Everything is red
I have retinal hemorrhaging

I heard a different version.

Roses are black.
Violets are black.
Everything is black.
I'm f*cking blind, you *sshole, stop asking!

 

[AmandaRose]

My one Legged friend got a job at a beer factory. They put him in charge of the hops

 

[CraddaPoosta]

The company that makes yard sticks, unfortunately, will not be making them any longer.

 

[jeffyTheHomebrewer]

Guess what?

 

[AmandaRose]

I want a job cleaning mirrors. It's something I can really see myself doing.

 

[CraddaPoosta]

What do you call a bear with no ear?

A B.

 

[AmandaRose]

A sobbing lady called Mary Murphy enters the church and approaches Father O'Grady.

He says: "So what's bothering you?"

She replies: "Oh, Father, I've terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says: "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Did he have any last requests?"

"Certainly father," she replied. "He said: "Please Mary, put down that damn gun."

 

[CraddaPoosta]

Yesterday, my grandpa kicked the bucket.

It was mostly peaceful. I was not sad. No one was.

We were all actually pretty impressed. He got like four feet of air on that thing.

 

[kristianity77]

Its always better to own a small dog as you only have to bag up small poo's on a walk. I saw a woman the other day walking a Great Dane and it looked like she had been to the butchers.

 

[mthrnite]

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A♭minor.

 

[AmandaRose]

What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

 

[Lostbhoy]

Why are penguins shops so busy?

Because the fish fillet!

 

[Gep_Etto]

How many angry gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but you'll need a lot of light bulbs.

 

[AncientBoi]

How many angry gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but you'll need a lot of light bulbs.

I do believe the gorillas got banned somewhere on this site.