I feel so completely broken, this is quite lengthy so beware...

So, as you all know, I've had my ups and downs on here, and this year has been especially hellacious for me when it comes to my emotions and my anxiety. I'm going to be very open and upfront/honest about my deepest, darkest inner demons. This is very very difficult for me to even confess this, but, it's better that I get this out in the open, first and foremost, I have Asperger's, I've had it for the majority of my life, and while I have overcome much of it, it still remains. This makes certain social cues hellishly difficult and I wanted to apologize for the misunderstandings that this has caused people on this site, but alongside that, I also suffer from anxiety, which also isn't very fun to deal with, but these are only but two of the facets that account for my recent behavioral issues. See, I have some serious issues with addictions, or rather, addictive behaviors that I'm not exactly proud of, things that are proving to be extremely difficult for me to overcome, something I cannot overcome on my own. These addictive behaviors have gained control over me, to the point of disrupting my sleep and even going so far as to prevent me from properly holding down a job. Yes, it's that bad, and I have confessed these to family, who I trust with my life, and they were very understanding and open right back, especially my brother, who himself has had serious addictions that he's overcoming. I finally see the true hell that is addiction, the horrible things it does to body and mind, how it enslaves and gives one a false sense of security. It's been a problem for far longer than it should have been, but, I have concluded that this has been the root cause of pretty much, if not all my problems, especially as of late, and I'm not ashamed that I admit I need help. But the thing that worries me the most, is that people who know me in here, and outside of the Temp, very well could think less of me than they already do, given that I'm pouring out my heart right now about my issues. I can only hope that people are understand me and don't shun me for these problems that so haunt me and cause me to feel such anguish and anxiety. I won't go into too much detail about the addictions, but let's just say it's not the kind of material I can just post on here, it's explicit material and I'm not proud of admitting that. I'm a mess, I need help, and I'm sorry that I'm posting this on here, but, you all have a right to know why I've been such a pain in the ass to so many people, and for what it's worth, I can't be sorry enough. This is a very serious blog, something I need to get off my chest. I hate this feeling, I hate not having control over these urges to look up explicit material, addiction is hell, a literal enslavement of body and mind. I want the old me back, I want to be happy. It does't help that I am grossly overweight, doing a number on my self esteem and self-image and so on, but sadly, I lack even the motivation to get into shape. So yes, I am broken, and I am currently speaking with a trusted friend who is an LCSW, so I'll be starting the path to recovery once and for all. I just wanted to vent, and to let you know what was going on, thank you for taking the time to hear this, as I'm writing this, I am on the verge of crying my eyes out, I want to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.