How do you make friends and keep them going? (online & offline)

[Sonic Angel Knight]

Laugh at me if you want or even call me names or whatever, but this is a serious question. Believe it or not, there is people out there who do not know how to do this yet, despite their age, is just something not easy to master. Understanding that, I will just like to say that if someone willing to admit to having trouble with this, is okay.

But the thing is since these are probably more personal.. ummm skill... techniques... habits... opinions (Whatever you wanna call them) Is however you do it personally, may not work for everyone, these are suggestions. So i guess this statement is a disclaimer for anyone who tries these personal experiences or SUGGESTIONS, not to complain if it doesn't work, really is just "Trial-and-error"

Also I would like to ask if you could specifiy the experience if is for online i guess either long distance, people from around the world, playing games online, social media like the instant messages or whatever communities, or offline around the local area doing whatever, that will help i think. If i should come up with another idea to help add detph to the experience then this post will be updated.

 

[DinohScene]

By being the most awesome faggot there is.

Prove me wrong.

 

[Viri]

I'll be your friend!

 

[Bimmel]

Going outside is a start.

But it's dangerous to go alone.

 

[Cyan]

Asking people to be friends make them freak out. they always answer nicely and politely, but never let you contact them or contact you again.
Asking people to meet again are giving the wrong impression, if it's the opposite sex they think you are into them, if it's the same sex they think you are homo.
Doing the first step is awkward when adult, not doing it can lead you being alone because nobody will do the first step.

Try doing an activity where there are other people. (sports, mountain walking, museum, learning playing an instrument, board games, card games, role playing games, any activity you like, etc.), something like a club where you can see the same people more than once without asking anything. there are probably some place where you can subscribe to do different activities. your town having clubs or associations. if there's nothing interesting, create one.

I know it's not easy, if you don't have friend you probably are not the type to go to others and create things for others.
I'm thinking about it too, like creating a club to play iGO (board game), but I don't know if I'll be capable of doing it, nor if it will interest other people. But there are already a Chess club in my town, why not a GO club?

Another Idea I had was to invite random people to try PS VR ! it's new, people might be interested to try Virtual reality.... But the website I subscribed to (which let us create friendly meet up) is full of old peoples in my town (20 to 30+ older than me, not sure they would be interested), and young people my age live a lot farer, in other cities.
I could do it ... I could .. but I'm afraid to meet unknown people or even invite them to my home. not sure the consequences.

I could go to other meet up, but I'm too shy to even decide to go... And It's in other towns (my town is full of old peoples).
Young people often organize "werewolf" games. they seem to do it often, it could be fun but that's not the game genre you play when you are extra shy.

 

[Deleted-355425]

If you are struggling id start out by asking the guys from your place of work if they would like to go out for a drink after work one night, pick a sports night so you have something to do in case there are any awful silence moments until you get to know them a bit better

 

[Bimmel]

Asking people to be friends make them freak out. they always answer nicely and politely, but never let you contact them or contact you again.
Asking people to meet again are giving the wrong impression, if it's the opposite sex they think you are into them, if it's the same sex they think you are homo.
Doing the first step is awkward when adult, not doing it can lead you being alone because nobody will do the first step.

Try doing an activity where there are other people. (sports, mountain walking, museum, learning playing an instrument, board games, card games, role playing games, any activity you like, etc.), something like a club where you can see the same people more than once without asking anything. there are probably some place where you can subscribe to do different activities. your town having clubs or associations. if there's nothing interesting, create one.

I know it's not easy, if you don't have friend you probably are not the type to go to others and create things for others.
I'm thinking about it too, like creating a club to play iGO (board game), but I don't know if I'll be capable of doing it, nor if it will interest other people. But there are already a Chess club in my town, why not a GO club?

Another Idea I had was to invite random people to try PS VR ! it's new, people might be interested to try Virtual reality.... But the website I subscribed to (which let us create friendly meet up) is full of old peoples in my town (20 to 30+ older than me, not sure they would be interested), and young people my age live a lot farer, in other cities.
I could do it ... I could .. but I'm afraid to meet unknown people or even invite them to my home. not sure the consequences.

I could go to other meet up, but I'm too shy to even decide to go... And It's in other towns (my town is full of old peoples).
Young people often organize "werewolf" games. they seem to do it often, it could be fun but that's not the game genre you play when you are extra shy.

Sometimes it takes a crazy amount of courage to do something, I know the feeling.

But imagine: What could be the worst possible outcome? And then think about what could be the best possible outcome? Go for it Cyan! Reading your posts here makes me sure that you are capable of something like that.

(I would definitely take a look into that club, and if it's just out of curiosity. Others will likely think so to. :-) )

 

[Cyan]

I know I could do it, I just need to take the courage and try.

About inviting someone to my home, I always feel "and what if someone come and steal my stuff knowing where I live and what I have". But I guess people subscribing to that meeting website are more looking for friendship than potential house robbing.

About going to existing meeting, yeah, I just need to decide !
sometime there are even simple things like "let's go watch a movie at cinema".
I also already seen people creating meeting for "let's have spaghetti at my home". people just want to be with others, not necessarily something big. I guess not eating alone is just enough to get people to meet.

I just would like to meet people my age, hoping we could share the same interest, not meeting 60 or 70 years old people just to eat pasta :s

 

[Bimmel]

I know I could do it, I just need to take the courage and try.

I always feel "and what if someone come and steal my stuff knowing where I live and what I have". But I guess people subscribing to that meeting website are more looking for friendship than potential house robbing.

Hm.. if that's the problem, what about taking the first meeting to some public place?

And yes, I agree. Robbers do not likely log into friendship portals - to time consuming and personal.

 

[proflayton123]

I tend to try to engage conversation would someone, although I always come off shy and awkward, social negatives of having AS :c

 

[Sonic Angel Knight]

and what if someone come and steal my stuff knowing where I live and what I have

Least you're not in new york. Perhaps take notices of the amount of crime in your area and what crimes are committed before filling the mind with ideas like that.

Sure I get it, is the year 2016, history come a long way with so many frauds, there a show on mtv called catfish where the whole idea is to expose people who create fake persona, literally use other people pictures to get attention or dates. Sure, that stuff does happy, is risky and all luck based, but it will start to make you feel less likely to trust people. I bet there lot more people who don't have trust and loss faith in humanity over reasons like this, but we cannot assume everyone is like this, otherwise we will miss out on possible good potential people.

Sometimes it takes a crazy amount of courage to do something, I know the feeling.

But imagine: What could be the worst possible outcome? And then think about what could be the best possible outcome? Go for it Cyan! Reading your posts here makes me sure that you are capable of something like that.

(I would definitely take a look into that club, and if it's just out of curiosity. Others will likely think so to. :-) )

Everyone life is at risk of something, we are always unware until is too late. It may not be this time but is guarantee at least once in everyone life. We just deal with it, and if it don't kill us, just keep going and try make it better. Not easy to accomplish i know but is only opinion and luck based observation, not everyone is the same in terms of luck.

 

[Engert]

How to make friends - In stores everywhere for the low price of $9.95 plus shipping and handling. 30 day money back guarantee.

 

[Sonic Angel Knight]

How to make friends - In stores everywhere for the low price of $9.95 plus shipping and handling. 30 day money back guarantee.

I feel bad your method requires money, i didn't know that was a thing.

 

[Engert]

I feel bad your method requires money, i didn't know that was a thing.

Oh no no no. It's the OP who requires money when he opened this type of (stupid) thread.
And you know what?
There might be (stupid) people out there who might buy it.

This is America after all.

 

[Meteor7]

I don't. Friendship with me is completely incidental, as I never feel the need to seek it out. As a result, the few friendships I've made are some of the tightest and most genuine relationships I've ever seen, despite the fact that I can count them on one hand. My advice is to be the kind of person who doesn't need friendship to be happy; then you'll forge the most rewarding relationships because they're not born out of emotional necessity, but deep connections.

 

[Alkéryn]

It depend of what you call a friend, if you want someone to have fun with and share things it is easy
but if you want real friends it is harder to find and it is what make them pressious
I would say the most important things are affection honesty and trust, knowing them and also know how to have fun with them

but the best way to aproach someone in ANY situation ( Friendship/ relationship / work ) is to have a good sense of humor and know how to balance it well depending of the person you are speaking to, the higher in hierarchy the person the most serious you must been
but the least you know a person the most you should be humourous and the most you know them the most you should be serious

but keep in mind that even if affection honesty and trust are the key to a good friendship, humour is the first step to get there
plus don't expect people to trust you if you don't trust them
don't expect people to like you if you don't like them
and don't expect people to be happy when they see you if you are not always happy when they see you.
it might seem dumb but people act a bit to you as you act to them
if you act as you are already close they will react so

physical contact is also a good thing for example a little slap on the shoulder or small discret things like that help others build confindence in you inconsiously

 

[el_gonz87]

I'm very outgoing and I think the biggest thing I've noticed with all the circle of friends I know is having a sense of humor. Not on others expense, but if you are in a social situation don't be afraid to crack a simple joke or speak up, you will learn from other people the more you speak in these situations pay attention to their vocal cues and body language.

The biggest part of communication is learning to listen and I don't always mean vocal feedback, the more you try the more you learn. Try to start by social settings such as in school when placed in groups or online in social media circles, be sincere and have a sense of humor starting with smaller jokes at the start.

For example at bio-stat conferences which I attend to for work, someone was telling a story and said "... And this doctor tried to call me a liar" so I said "well you know there are lies, damned lies, and statistics" a famous phrase by Mark Twain and the group started laughing because it was statisticians and it was a humorous way of saying we're paid to be liars.

Just an example but don't be afraid to speak up, that's the best way to get to know people.

 

[RevPokemon]

I just give my friends benefits

 

[Alkéryn]

I just give my friends benefits

Then they arent real friends xD

 

[Sonic Angel Knight]

I just give my friends benefits

Sorry i don't quite understand what this means.