iTech has dead

[iTech]

Thought I had died? Well, I do have cancer (of the dorsolateral Coolness Gland in the posterior hemisphere of my Awesomeness System) but other than that, I'm still alive (for now).
Just a quick message to let y'all know.
I'll disclose the details of my sudden disappearance later. It's quite an interesting story actually, involving time travel, crackaïne junkies, and a mysterious foul-smelling creature I call a "Rasta Monkey".

I wish I had some nice pictures to show you of the various sights I've seen during my quest, but believe it or not; Gastric Parasites ate my Memorycard.

(I had previously swallowed it to conceal it from a satanic talking dog I didn't quite trust because he claimed immigrants were ruining the country)
I can tell you this allready, however; I have learned from a very reliable source which I would trust with my life (the Satanic talking dog I just mentioned) that all politicians that have held power in this country for the past 50 years are not human. They only appear human to the eye, but in reality, they are Rectiles. Yes, Rectiles! So, before I get killed for saying this, spread the word that all politicians, especially those part of the Bush Dynasty, are Rectiles!
I didn't believe it at first either, until I saw with my own two eyes how President Bush spewed feces all over a crowd when he opened his mouth. (this is a definite sign that you're a Rectile!!)
Untill then, I leave you with this poll and a riddle; Can YOU figure out the type of narcotic I accidentally abused before writing this post?

 

[Beware]

lawlzzomgwtftitsbbq!?!?! I knew it all along! My hole life finally makes snes.

BTW, was it acid? :-P

 

[Mangofett]

Heroin?

 

[Costello]

I'll disclose the details of my sudden disappearance later. It's quite an interesting story actually, involving time travel, crackaïne junkies, and a mysterious foul-smelling creature I call a "Rasta Monkey".

HO HO HO

I think I had the same dream last night!

 

[leetdude_007]

Ether, ether, ether!!

 

[cubin']

RIP itech. you were a good man and a decent forum member

 

[iTech]

BTW, was it acid? :-P


I dunno, it tasted kinda sour, so it could be...
I remember that it came in a can.
I got it from a psychiatrist I met down at The Illuminati Lodge where I play Testicle Tennis every friday.
The can said "Zyklon-B" on it.
I thought it was stale blueberry marmalade.
It tasted like shit dug out of the ass of roadkill left in the sun to rot for twenty three days.

QUOTEHO HO HO

I think I had the same dream last night!

It ... it wasn't a dream man...
Shit, they got you too?!
Take off your shirt, quick!
Look in the mirror - do it quick!
Do you see a deep circular scar just below your stomach? Now look below it, quick!
Is there a large purple-colored tentacle coming from between your legs? And a bulbous appendage attached to it below, that feels as though it contains a liquid when you give it a jerk? That's The Mark! You have being abducted by the Rastaqueen in your sleep!

here's a tip; Extract the poision by squeezing the tentacle about 150 times in rapid succession. It will purge the poisonious liquid it contains which is designed kill you when your actions become counterproductive towards The Hive (they send a naked lady into your bedroom at night which acts as some sort of neuro-trigger that activates the tentacle and ejects the toxin all over your body, causing sure death by asphyxiation due to clogged pores)

 

[cubin']

ohhh he's back! huhARH! welcome back itech

 

[yus786]

lol yay itechs back

how old are you btw itech??

regards

yus786

 

[iTech]

how old are you btw itech??

According to the Rolex I glued on the Flux Capacitor of my timetraveling toiletbowl, I am now about 25 lightyears old. Which is odd, since a lightyear is a measurement for speed, and not time. And speed, is a measurement for coolness, not velocity. The more speed you got, the cooler your are in my eyes. Until I've leached your entire stash and tell you to bring more next time, and that your sister forgot her red panties in my lawn.

I'll get back to y'all later, since I have something detrimentally (

 

[Taras]

condolences on your contracting the gay ass-cancer.

 

[mthrnite]

Soaking the seeds of the Jimson Weed?
A little of the old Nightshade Lemonade?
I hear it's a real trip when your respiratory system shuts down.

 

[[M]artin]

REVIVAL!

 

[pkprostudio]

Me chose the first one.

 

[science]

Objection!

 

[iTech]

http://objection.mrdictionary.net/go.php?n=2184600

Don't doubt my time-traveling abilities. I based the construct on scientific principles I learned mostly from fancy encyclopedias;
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Time_machine

 

[test84]

http://gbatemp.net/index.php?showtopic=59891&hl=

 

[JacobReaper]

lol, "itech has dead"

LOL grammer,

 

[Mangofett]

lol, "itech has dead"

LOL grammer,

 

[cory1492]

iTech, I fear you have had an encounter with one of the most notoriously addictive and more common drugs on the planet. Even newborn babies have contracted the illness associated with withdrawal of this drug, symptoms of withdrawal being anything from skincolor turning purple, to exploding capillaries and veins, to death. In science terms this drug is most commonly known as O2, in street slang they have been calling it everything from oxygen to air.

I mourn the loss of another human being to this drug that consumes nearly 21% of our planet's atmosphere.