Okay, I'm gonna talk about customers in general now.
No, I won't do your shopping for you
I understand that I'm there to help you locate items. I am not, however, there to do your shopping for you. I have other things to get done and other customers to help. I do not have the time to show you personally to all 30 items on your shopping list.
I am NOT MacGyver
No, we do not carry a container that is made to store triangle shaped paper. No, I do not know of a way to tape some items together to make said triangle shaped paper container.
I can not read your mind
To help you find your product, I need more info than "It's a thing that does this thing. Oh, you know what I'm talking about, right?" No, I do not. We carry many "things".
Stay out of our midstock
Everything that we carry is on the shelves. There is no reason to climb up our shelving to look at a briefcase that you think looks different than the ones on the shelf. If the shelf is empty and you want to know if there are any more in midstock, ask us.
We do not know when we will get more in
We do not control what or when items are sent to us. It is all controlled by the computer and corporate. They send us whatever they feel like. We could have 50 of an item that we haven't sold any of in a year, and they will send us more. We once sold out of Crayola markers during Back to School time and didn't get more sent to us for over half a year.
Staplers 101: There are different kinds of staples
Different staplers use different kinds of staples. I can not help you when you come in and ask, "I have a stapler, which staples do I need?". Also, unless you have a Swingline or Staples brand stapler, I do not know off the top of my head what staples you need. We only carry Staples and Swingline staplers and staples. Coming in and saying you have a Boston 73Z Deluxe stapler and want to know which Swingline staples will fit it, is not helpful. I'll need to see it to know which ones will fit. What I always tell customers is to assume we won't know off the top of our head which staples you need and to just bring your stapler in to be sure we will be able to help you.
Matte vs Glossy
Do not ask me which is better, Matte or Glossy photo paper. I will stab you.
Denied credit cards
I do not know why your credit card was denied. The computer just says denied. I do not know what you did to make the bank deny your card, I'm sure you would have a better idea than I would. And no, I can not magically make the register make the bank accept your card no matter how many times I run it through or what combination of buttons I push.
It's called tax, welcome to life
Yes, I realize the tag says $9.99. The other .60 cents is called tax. Unless you are on vacation from Alaska, you know what this is, don't play dumb. We will not remove the tax for you.
Business hours
We are open for 14 hours a day (on weekdays). Do not show up at 9:01 and be mad that we won't let you in. And the doors won't open no matter how many times you yell, "But I just need one thing!"
Define calender
Do not ask me where our calendars are and then get mad and act like I'm an idiot when I ask what kind of calendar. We have daily rip off ones, normal hanging ones, monthly desk ones, yearly laminated ones, hanging erasable marker ones, academic year ones, sport team ones, and more. And they are all in different places. I am simply trying to point you in the right direction.
No, I won't do your shopping for you
I understand that I'm there to help you locate items. I am not, however, there to do your shopping for you. I have other things to get done and other customers to help. I do not have the time to show you personally to all 30 items on your shopping list.
I am NOT MacGyver
No, we do not carry a container that is made to store triangle shaped paper. No, I do not know of a way to tape some items together to make said triangle shaped paper container.
I can not read your mind
To help you find your product, I need more info than "It's a thing that does this thing. Oh, you know what I'm talking about, right?" No, I do not. We carry many "things".
Stay out of our midstock
Everything that we carry is on the shelves. There is no reason to climb up our shelving to look at a briefcase that you think looks different than the ones on the shelf. If the shelf is empty and you want to know if there are any more in midstock, ask us.
We do not know when we will get more in
We do not control what or when items are sent to us. It is all controlled by the computer and corporate. They send us whatever they feel like. We could have 50 of an item that we haven't sold any of in a year, and they will send us more. We once sold out of Crayola markers during Back to School time and didn't get more sent to us for over half a year.
Staplers 101: There are different kinds of staples
Different staplers use different kinds of staples. I can not help you when you come in and ask, "I have a stapler, which staples do I need?". Also, unless you have a Swingline or Staples brand stapler, I do not know off the top of my head what staples you need. We only carry Staples and Swingline staplers and staples. Coming in and saying you have a Boston 73Z Deluxe stapler and want to know which Swingline staples will fit it, is not helpful. I'll need to see it to know which ones will fit. What I always tell customers is to assume we won't know off the top of our head which staples you need and to just bring your stapler in to be sure we will be able to help you.
Matte vs Glossy
Do not ask me which is better, Matte or Glossy photo paper. I will stab you.
Denied credit cards
I do not know why your credit card was denied. The computer just says denied. I do not know what you did to make the bank deny your card, I'm sure you would have a better idea than I would. And no, I can not magically make the register make the bank accept your card no matter how many times I run it through or what combination of buttons I push.
It's called tax, welcome to life
Yes, I realize the tag says $9.99. The other .60 cents is called tax. Unless you are on vacation from Alaska, you know what this is, don't play dumb. We will not remove the tax for you.
Business hours
We are open for 14 hours a day (on weekdays). Do not show up at 9:01 and be mad that we won't let you in. And the doors won't open no matter how many times you yell, "But I just need one thing!"
Define calender
Do not ask me where our calendars are and then get mad and act like I'm an idiot when I ask what kind of calendar. We have daily rip off ones, normal hanging ones, monthly desk ones, yearly laminated ones, hanging erasable marker ones, academic year ones, sport team ones, and more. And they are all in different places. I am simply trying to point you in the right direction.
