Virginity..

[Calafas]

I'm strongly against that, I said it's not good idea to encourage sex at that age..It's good to start learning your kids about that stuff early, it's good to teach them how to act if they come to that situation, but it's not good to encourage them!!
Would you say to your 13 years old kid, here, have a condom and have as much sex as you can at tonight friends birthday party?!

If my 13 year old kid was going to a party, and might be having sex, im not saying i'd be happy about it, but if you cant stop them (well you could physically, but could lead to them wanting it more), wouldnt you rather send them on their way with some protection, if theyre going to anyway?

 

[Toni Plutonij]

If my 13 year old kid was going to a party, and might be having sex, im not saying i'd be happy about it, but if you cant stop them (well you could physically, but could lead to them wanting it more), wouldnt you rather send them on their way with some protection, if theyre going to anyway?

You're not getting what I'm trying to say!
Kids should know about that stuff really early, but we shouldn't encourage such behavior!

You shouldn't let them go wit the word of praise on that!!

 

[Calafas]

If my 13 year old kid was going to a party, and might be having sex, im not saying i'd be happy about it, but if you cant stop them (well you could physically, but could lead to them wanting it more), wouldnt you rather send them on their way with some protection, if theyre going to anyway?

You're not getting what I'm trying to say!
Kids should know about that stuff really early, but we shouldn't encourage such behavior!

You shouldn't let them go wit the word of praise on that!!

I know what your saying, your thinking that by giving them protection, would be like saying to them its ok to have sex at early age and maybe sleep around, or it may even encourage it!

I'm in school at the moment, and can tell you there's enough encouragement as it is! Even with the younger children (first/second year of high school) they talk about sex, and you always get the kids who have a rude image or two on their phone, all this is encouragement, and if they're going to them sort of parties, sounds like their friends would be encouraging it anyway. I'm saying *DO* talk to them about, tell them to let you know if they're being pressured into it, both directly, and maybe indirectly (perhaps the 'popular kids doing it, and so on), seriously think about it, but if theyre in an relationship (even at such an early age), you can see the age of their partner, or talk to their parents about it, and then far from encouraging it, tell them that its a big step and they might not be ready, but if they *really* persist, then i dont think giving them condoms is particularly encouraging it.

But im not a parent, and you're older than me, so who knows, but thats just my views.

 

[LightyKD]

My virginity was VERY important to me, then I gave it to someone that i loved, had a child with her and quickly learned how very, uncaring, crude, unstable and noncommittal she was and now my heart hurts. If you still have your virginity, save it for someone who truly cares about you. I know that most of us guys love to think about getting laid but hell, at least the one's we give out first moment to should be a happy memory not one that hurts every time you think about that day and the aftermath. ...Just my two cents...

 

[golden]

My virginity was VERY important to me, then I gave it to someone that i loved, had a child with her and quickly learned how very, uncaring, crude, unstable and noncommittal she was and now my heart hurts. If you still have your virginity, save it for someone who truly cares about you. I know that most of us guys love to think about getting laid but hell, at least the one's we give out first moment to should be a happy memory not one that hurts every time you think about that day and the aftermath. ...Just my two cents...
I'm very sorry to hear that and with all do respect but I just got to say:

The almost 50% divorce rate in American has to come from somewhere. >_>

TazaI'd never do that.

I would, however, explain the dangers and advise on the use of protection... far earlier than that.

I don't really care if 13-year-olds have sex. I wouldn't care if they were my kids either. The important thing is to avoid violence and diseases.

This statement is also pretty dumb. Although advising your kids is your choice whenever you wish whether you want to teach them at age 7, 8, 10, 12, etc. People as young as 13 years old having sex is very bad psychologically. You're thinking you are "releasing" them from being sexually repressed or whatever you said but it actually destroys their life. At the very least you got to wait till 16 or an age where some actual maturity in the brain develops. It's proven kid's brains aren't developed enough at age 13 and they can't reason as well as they should for sophisticated decision that can have long term impact on their lives. At the very least, wait till an age that they start to show that maturity like 16+.

Oh, but I do completely agree with you on the fact that people should have sex before marriage. It is a pretty dumb idea in my opinion to wait for many reasons but one would be the guy above me that I quoted.

 

[Lazycus]

@ Taza - Good luck when your daughter has a kid at 14 years old or chooses abortion. I assume you would let your 14 year old child make a choice about abortion since they are old enough to decide for themselves whether or not to have sex at 13. Would you also be receptive to your 13 year old child having sex with a 30 year old? Why not? Are you closed minded? Surely the 30 year old could educate them about protection and diseases and non-violence.

@ Calafas - What do you mean you can't stop a 13 year old from going to a party and having sex?

It's a parent's job to not only educate their kids about the physical aspect of sex but also the mental and social. To just hand a 13 year old some condoms and say 'take precautions' since 'they'll do it anyway' isn't much better than telling them nothing.

 

[golden]

@ Taza - Good luck when your daughter has a kid at 14 years old or chooses abortion. I assume you would let your 14 year old child make a choice about abortion since they are old enough to decide for themselves whether or not to have sex at 13. Would you also be receptive to your 13 year old child having sex with a 30 year old? Why not? Are you closed minded? Surely the 30 year old could educate them about protection and diseases and non-violence.

@ Calafas - What do you mean you can't stop a 13 year old from going to a party and having sex?

It's a parent's job to not only educate their kids about the physical aspect of sex but also the mental and social. To just hand a 13 year old some condoms and say 'take precautions' since 'they'll do it anyway' isn't much better than telling them nothing.

100% QFE

 

[antwill]

@ Taza - Good luck when your daughter has a kid at 14 years old or chooses abortion. I assume you would let your 14 year old child make a choice about abortion since they are old enough to decide for themselves whether or not to have sex at 13. Would you also be receptive to your 13 year old child having sex with a 30 year old? Why not? Are you closed minded? Surely the 30 year old could educate them about protection and diseases and non-violence.

Surely most of that from first hand experience too no doubt.

 

[Filter]

I never plan to get married so of course I will have sex when ever possible.

 

[Toni Plutonij]

@ Taza - Good luck when your daughter has a kid at 14 years old or chooses abortion. I assume you would let your 14 year old child make a choice about abortion since they are old enough to decide for themselves whether or not to have sex at 13. Would you also be receptive to your 13 year old child having sex with a 30 year old? Why not? Are you closed minded? Surely the 30 year old could educate them about protection and diseases and non-violence.

@ Calafas - What do you mean you can't stop a 13 year old from going to a party and having sex?

It's a parent's job to not only educate their kids about the physical aspect of sex but also the mental and social. To just hand a 13 year old some condoms and say 'take precautions' since 'they'll do it anyway' isn't much better than telling them nothing.

Thanks for putting it in a way that I can't because of my language differences!

Something like that would be my point as well!

 

[Taza]

@ Taza - Good luck when your daughter has a kid at 14 years old or chooses abortion. I assume you would let your 14 year old child make a choice about abortion since they are old enough to decide for themselves whether or not to have sex at 13. Would you also be receptive to your 13 year old child having sex with a 30 year old? Why not? Are you closed minded? Surely the 30 year old could educate them about protection and diseases and non-violence.

Surely most of that from first hand experience too no doubt.

Lookie here, someone already answered one of the points.

Also, the abortion bit? I'd be highly annoyed if it was a result of not having protection, and I'd strongly recommend abortion.

Frankly, "highly harmful"? Talk about brainwashed. Take a look at the history.

Hey, the youngest mother was 5. Which tells us something about the biological part.

EDIT: And to clarify my actual point: I would *educate* my children, from an age even younger than 13. I wouldn't repress them nor try to dictate my values. And if you think having sex at 12 is "HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE" and that 12 year old kids haven't a clue about sex you're kinda naive about 12 year old kids.

They'd want to have sex at 13? Use protection, take your partner into account, etcetera.
They were getting coerced to have sex at 13? Naturally I'd step in.

 

[antwill]

Hey, the youngest mother was 5. Which tells us something about the biological part.

Even so, thats still pretty messed up, and no im not saying that because of the impact of western societies views and values, im saying that because at 5 you can still barely care for yourself let alone another living being. I don't see why you would 'strongly reccomend' abortion, wouldn't that put more of a strain emotionally and mentally on the child than say adopting it out? Just my 2 cents, i could very well be wrong.

 

[Taza]

In Finland? Hardly.

Maybe in Glorious America, but here I think abortion is the more accepted choice for being pregnant at that age.

... but if she absolutely refused abortion I'd mandate adoption.

 

[LightyKD]

In Finland? Hardly.

Maybe in Glorious America, but here I think abortion is the more accepted choice for being pregnant at that age.

... but if she absolutely refused abortion I'd mandate adoption.

The United States isn't so "glorious". We have our problems and I for one will be one of the dumb ones who act as if we don't. I'm purely against any form of nationalism and can't wait for a global government but until that happens, I can truely say that I'm proud of what the Obama administration represents. "A renewed sense of hope!" Goodness knows we need it because whether you want to admit it or not, we're living in the second "dark ages".

 

[Lazycus]

EDIT: And to clarify my actual point: I would *educate* my children, from an age even younger than 13. I wouldn't repress them nor try to dictate my values. And if you think having sex at 12 is "HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE" and that 12 year old kids haven't a clue about sex you're kinda naive about 12 year old kids.

They'd want to have sex at 13? Use protection, take your partner into account, etcetera.
They were getting coerced to have sex at 13? Naturally I'd step in.

There was no need to clarify your point. The only difference is now you have lowered the age to 12. Of course 12 year olds and younger have curiosity towards sex and should be educated about it. Of course I think having sex at 12 is horrible. I think most people around the world (be it 'Glorious America' or glorious Finland or wherever) would agree with me, or am I still being naive?

Clearly you don't have children and I hope you never do until you realize that most kids can't make educated choices about sex (and countless other things) until they reach an age much older than 12-13. Kids need rules and boundaries set by their parents. You may call it repression or dictating values but I call it being a loving, protective parent. To not use wisdom and experience in educating and parenting kids is truly naive and cowardly.

 

[LightyKD]

I would freak and pull all my hair out if my daughter ever tried something at that young of a age. Hell, I really don't want her to start dating till she's 16...LATE 16 lol. Luckily for me I have YEARS before I have to worry about that

. Still, consider me a protective father.

 

[Taza]

EDIT: And to clarify my actual point: I would *educate* my children, from an age even younger than 13. I wouldn't repress them nor try to dictate my values. And if you think having sex at 12 is "HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE" and that 12 year old kids haven't a clue about sex you're kinda naive about 12 year old kids.

They'd want to have sex at 13? Use protection, take your partner into account, etcetera.
They were getting coerced to have sex at 13? Naturally I'd step in.

There was no need to clarify your point. The only difference is now you have lowered the age to 12. Of course 12 year olds and younger have curiosity towards sex and should be educated about it. Of course I think having sex at 12 is horrible. I think most people around the world (be it 'Glorious America' or glorious Finland or wherever) would agree with me, or am I still being naive?

Clearly you don't have children and I hope you never do until you realize that most kids can't make educated choices about sex (and countless other things) until they reach an age much older than 12-13. Kids need rules and boundaries set by their parents. You may call it repression or dictating values but I call it being a loving, protective parent. To not use wisdom and experience in educating and parenting kids is truly naive and cowardly.

Ah, rules and boundaries set by parents. Love those axes, love them... well, I guess those would be guns if you live in Glorious America, but oh well.

My intention is to *educate* my own children, so that they can make educated choices about as soon as they have any need to. Parents controlling the actions of children even 12-13 without being repressive? Fat chance there. You're not a loving, protective parent exercising that much control - you're a tyrant who will be remembered with hate and psychological disorders.

And I think you'd be shocked to your core if you ever met some of the 13-year-olds I've met and grown up with. Not that, I don't think most of them lost their virginity until a few years later - but still well short of 18.

EDIT: Hey, I found an additional thing to note. Most people would find 12 year olds having sex horrible? Not so in Canada, where that is the minimum age of consent. As well as about half of Mexico. And oh, Japan's age of consent is 13. Looks like you're surrounded by people disagreeing with you.

And I would use my wisdom and experience in parenting my kids. My wisdom and experience says that it's better to have your child do the smart thing because he knows why he should rather than because of fear of punishment.

 

[Lazycus]

I'm not sure why you keep trolling with your anti-American statements but you'll get no bite here. I don't understand the "axes/guns" reference anyway.

If I'm labeled a tyrant for keeping my 12 year old kid from having sex than so be it. I don't think you'll get one person on here that will reply and agree with you about that. Visit Canada, Mexico or Japan and talk to the people there and you will be hard pressed to find anyone that wants their kid having sex at 12 or 13 years old. Maybe it's different in Finland but I think you would still have a hard time finding people who want their kids having sex at that age.

You don't seem to be able to grasp the concept that most 12 and 13 year olds can't intelligently make life changing decisions like having sex no matter how much education they've been given.

"My wisdom and experience says that it's better to have your child do the smart thing because he knows why he should rather than because of fear of punishment."

 

[NeSchn]

I want to lose mine kind of, its kind of hard being around all your friends when they are talking about it and you have nothing to contribute. I want to be in a relationship with the person though before I do anything though, and as we all know from many different blog posts. It's really hard for me to get a girlfriend lol.

 

[Taza]

You wouldn't get the axes/guns reference, only someone with both knowledge of my home area and a passing knowledge of the NRA would. Maybe you do once you've learned everything you will.

I'm not exactly *wanting* kids to have sex at 12, but I'm not exactly hell-bent on stopping them if they want to either.

And you don't seem to grasp that *some kids do anyway* and that sex isn't a huge life-changing decision. It's normal and a part of life and as far as my knowledge goes the age you do it in doesn't seem to matter that much, at least given you've already entered puberty and it's consensual.

13, 16, 19, 21? Well, maybe the 21 is a bit bad, and being a virgin at 24 is certainly traumatic, but the other ones, don't think so.

And why would it be horribly traumatic, given the body is more or less ready at the age between 11 and 15, depending on the individual. Not fully developed to adult form, no, but ready for sex. All trauma attached is merely social, and eventually, social trauma is about hard to come by as sand in Sahara.

EDIT: And oh, if you do keep your kid from having sex at 12 when he/she really wants to, whatever method you use that's more reliable than trusting her, it's bound to be more harmful than the sex would be.