Why is it so easy to get onto people's bad side on the Internet?

[Deleted member 608654]

And why is it so difficult to restore those relations?

 

[Kioku]

Pride... That's it... People's egos are over inflated when they have perceived anonymity.

 

[City]

Lack of accountability. People know they can get away with being complete assholes on the internet.

 

[Kwyjor]

Text-based communication has fundamental limitations and even particularly skilled people may not always be able to make their thoughts as clear as they might like.

Also, a lot of people just genuinely enjoy arguing. Successfully putting someone else down gives them a little shot of dopamine, or something, even if they have to willfully misinterpret someone else's writing to get there.

 

[Deleted member 608654]

So this all happens because when everyone's just a username and text, no body really trusts each other.

It's very hard to change someone's negative opinion about on the web because they want to reaffirm their beliefs that you're a pest to them, and nothing else. That's the problem with the Internet, it just paints caricatures of people and little else.

Guess I won't be utilizing my efforts to appeal sanctions in my old community, this welcoming place is where I truly belong.

 

[Kwyjor]

It's very hard to change someone's negative opinion about on the web because they want to reaffirm their beliefs that you're a pest to them, and nothing else. That's the problem with the Internet, it just paints caricatures of people and little else.

One thing I have come to appreciate much more in recent times is that most people on the Internet are just spouting uninformed opinions, and it is much more sensible to just stay silent than to try to put forth one's own equally-uninformed opinion as meriting equal attention.

 

[Reploid]

Because it's the intertnet.

 

[The Catboy]

Humans these days are a bit unhinged

 

[Maximumbeans]

I think it's a lot of the removal of the internet — being names and pictures as opposed to people and all that — but I also think it's because there's almost an expectation of conflict online. I can say something completely well-meaning and sincere to somebody and whereas it would go down as innocuous at worst in a face-to-face conversation, online it's taken as sarcastic or even insulting.
It's a shame. There are pockets of the internet where I know I can go for nice (or at least better) conversation without the usual nastiness but many places online are just foul. Facebook has to be the worst, which is ironic in a few ways.

 

[ChanseyIsTheBest]

I think it's because with online communication you miss a lot of non-verbal communication that happens IRL that clues you in on emotions and context. Like how when you talk to someone IRL you can tell if they are interested in what you are talking about by watching their body language. It's also a lot easier on the internet to say something mean compared to IRL because you get less of a visceral negative reaction from the person you are communicating with and other less negative consequences.

 

[Marc_LFD]

It depends on the community and person. I personally don't encounter many "angry" people on the internet, but if I visited Twitter or Reddit I'm sure there'd be plenty who'd be angry for no reason than just to be. lol

Pride... That's it... People's egos are over inflated when they have perceived anonymity.

Ah, pride...

Pride comes before a fall.

 

[appleburger]

I've mentioned this on a couple other threads, but I think this is a fun topic to think about. I'll add a couple interesting points I've come across on this topic that stuck with me:

Language is inherently limited and vague. Cutting through the vagueness requires a lot more words, explaining, agreeing on definitions, etc. This is discussed in Noson Yanofsky's "The Outer Limits of Reason", I remember it being mentioned in a Vsauce video many years ago and it was the first time I had really been introduced to that concept.

We're also pretty much wired to use causal patterns to determine our realities, and that is the very mechanism that allows us to fool ourselves. It's why correlative arguments are so common, and why the primary goal with Science is to weed out bias.

I thought John Vervanke did a great job explaining this in his series. It's a massive work, but part of the argument he makes is built upon explanations of how our thinking works, based on the Science, which goes over what we're talking about to a degree:
https://www.meaningcrisis.co/episode-2-flow-metaphor-and-the-axial-revolution/

The part I'm referring to begins at "So implicit learning." in the transcript. It doesn't read very well - I prefer the video format.

These are present with any form of communication, but with us being so adept at fooling ourselves, it doesn't surprise me when I see people defending foolish arguments with a completely unjustified level of certainty. Having honest, productive disagreements takes some real work and when you can't immediately get on the same page with somebody it can feel frustrating because it feels strongly like "they just don't get it" or "they just won't listen". I feel it also requires recognizing your own limitations and being open to adapting what you believe and why.

 

[Deleted member 608654]

Lack of accountability. People know they can get away with being complete assholes on the internet.

That's why kiwifarms exists.

 

[BORTZ]

Lack of accountability. People know they can get away with being complete assholes on the internet.

I was basically going to say the same thing but you already said it better.
You can hide behind a keyboard and an avatar without ever having to say something to someone's face.

 

[sombrerosonic]

Trust, Trust is so little on the internet cause everyone is strangers on here.

 

[godreborn]

You don't want to be on my bad side. I will go out of my way, risking systems in some cases, to find answers to your system problems. If you end up on my ignore list, while I may help somewhat, if I even see your post, I won't go out of my way for you. If you think there are a lot of other people willing to do that for ya, then by all means ask them. I never take people off of my ignore list.

 

[HalfScoper]

That's why kiwifarms exists.

And it's a good place with people sent by some almighty being to expose the frauds of the internet.

I am actually The Catboy, the best catboy.

You are a pretty good candidate for mentioned exposal, nothing more, I honestly hope it happens to some of the shills here on the temp.

 

[GiR-Kart-64]

Why is it so easy to get onto people's bad side on the Internet?

tbh i don't think this is an internet exclusive. People generally always assume the worst of others. It is a hard habit to break.

 

[Kwyjor]

I just remembered reading this a few years ago and how resonant it was.
https://devonzuegel.com/post/the-silence-is-deafening

As a result, the feedback you do receive in digital conversations is more polarized, because the only people who will engage are those who are willing to take that extra step and bear that cost of wading into a messy conversation.
[...]
A huge part of the problem is that digital spaces generally have no equivalent of a disapproving glare. You're stuck choosing between staying silent and entering the fray, with few options in between. If you have little reason to believe that other reasonable people will back you up, you're going to stick with the default: silence.

 

[Sonic Angel Knight]

How bout this. You call me fat. And I just barrage you with insults. Why would any of this work? I'm behind a computer and no one knows who I really am and can get to me. (Unless you're some super hacker) So do I receive consequences for doing that? No.

In other words, you get unfiltered unrestricted "freedom of speech" (Depending on the website I guess) without any repercussions... except getting cancelled or banned or whatever. That's least why I think this is the way it is. Anonymous opinions expressed without any restrictions. Sounds like a terrible idea right? Maybe.

Anyway It could just be as simple as the person you deal with just have very low tolerance and patience for things so it basically like igniting a short fuse on a bomb. It blows easily. It seems hard or least in 2022, damn near impossible to find people to associate with that aren't like that. But nothing is ever easy even sometimes when you think you figured it out. Just be careful who you pick to associate with.

This is been something I been told my whole life as a person with some variation of mental issues.