I keep having relapses, I hate this addiction

I'm trying to quit porn, like, completely, I want to be free from it. I want to escape from its grasp, and yes, a lot of media can be good, a lot of it can be bad, it's a double-edged sword. I hate the thoughts that creep into my head, it's been causing me anxiety, I hate this, and I don't know what to do to go cold turkey and stay that way. To make it worse, it's been affecting my mood adversely, and accounts for my being toxic and negative on the internet and to myself at work. I know a lot of people aren't fond of me or my recent comments, they've come across as vile, virulent and downright rude. That alone deserves another ban but I digress. Filters don't work, because they are very imperfect and can be bypassed, I just need to vent, mostly. I... don't know what to do to quit once and for all, the effects porn has on the brain aren't exactly comforting either.

I hate what porn addiction has done to me, how it exacerbates my stress and anxiety, and how it causes me to have image issues about myself as a person. I just... don't know what to do :cry:

I delete the files, I download them again, again and again, I want to break this cycle, I want to stop spiraling like this, like, starting now. I can't do this by myself, I need friends and family to overcome this.
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M7L7NK7
If you know a therapist, there's no excuse not to see them. I started seeing one a few months back, and although it's weird and kinda feels stupid it's good to talk to someone and that's what they're for.
 
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grey72
Other have said it, and I will too, GET HELP ASAP. From how long you've been talking about it, your situation isn't something you can get over by yourself. I cannot emphasize this enough, DO NOT waste time beating yourself up. Get professional help if you can. Also don't be afraid to change your therapist if you need to.
 
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aykay55
Your brain wants stimulation. And your brain gets it from porn. So try stimulating your brain otherwise. Join a woodworking class. Go to a community college and learn a new skill. Spend time with your neighbors, friends and family. Try building a model airplane. Buy a drone. Learn how to video edit or photoshop. Learn how to cook something. Go to the gym. Make an app for your phone. Learn how video games actually work from the ground up. Adopt a pet. Do something. Anything. Okay? And I’ll reiterate what I said on your last post. Put a jar on your coffee table. Every minute you watch of porn, put $1 into the jar. At the end of every week, donate that money to a local or online charity. But the change has to start from within, nobody is going to do it for you. Only you can change yourself. Please listen to me dude.
 
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the_randomizer
@aykay55, I've been doing thinking, and a hobby I've been getting involved in, is photography, specifically with the foxes I get to play with. But diving deeper, my camera allows me to take RAW photos, and with Photoshop, I convert them to DNG (digital negative) format, and I have full control over the overall quality. I'm quite happy with the results, er, what I'm trying to get it, is that it's something I'm new at, and learning more. It's something that stimulates my brain, keeps me active. But along with this, I haven't been taking very good care of my body, eating a bunch of crap, drinking a crap load of soda, not going to the gym. The motivating factor, is instead of saying "I should do this, I should do that," rewording it to "I want to get healthier, I want to go to the gym, I want to find other, healthier ways to keep my brain active". It puts things in a more positive light, something my therapist thought me, and is easier to motivate. Last thing before I go to bed, another thing I could do, is do things for other people, as a form of service/charity, as that can help with healing as well, as it shows love towards other people. Whew, yeah, going to bed as it's late, but it's a good place to start :3
 
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M7L7NK7
Make an appointment with the therapist. ASAP. It's what you need to work this out... it's like building a house using your hand as a hammer when there's a hammer nearby, if you want those nails in you need to utilise the right tools otherwise you're not going to build that house.
 
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aykay55
@the_randomizer I’m really happy to hear that, and congratulations. However, maybe it’s time to take the next step. If what you’re doing still isn’t working, you have to take it up a notch. I strongly suggest trying the jar idea. It will attach a negative, unwanted effect to your addiction. You’ll feel the effect of your addiction in your wallet as well, which means less money for video games and other cool stuff. And the money will still be going to a good cause. Please just try it. Or at least talk about trying it with your therapist. Please.
 
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billapong
Lust is a self destructive behavior. Sins exist for a reason. Someone much smarter than most people discovered that while self destructive behaviors will make you feel good in the short term they will damage you in the long term. Regardless of the Biblical origin of sins they are all self destructive and until you stop you're going to suffer. The solution also doesn't involve solving your current self destructive behavior by sinning further. Basically, you're not going to get better until you stop and trying to stop by participating in other self destructive behaviors won't solve anything.
 
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