Discuss dating/sex/girls in general

[zeppo]

I'm not stalking her or anything, if that's what you're getting at. Basically right now, just enjoying eachother's company a lot.

 

[Zarcon]

Haha, no, I'm not saying you're stalking her. It's just that, often, trying to be nice translates badly in the female world.
Not badly for her of course, a good friend is always nice to have, but badly for you unless all you want is a friend as well.

Eh, just do what seems to be working and be considerate of your actions if you get to dating.

 

[zeppo]

Well, for now I just want her to realize I have a crush on her and be ok with it, and be friends.

 

[slvrdrgn123]

we have different classes and different bus stops. I seriously think everything's going fine right now.

Doesn't matter if you have different classes. Walk her anyways. Worst is you will get to your class a few minutes late. But if you just a little earlier than class starts then you would be fine.

You should start talking to her 10 minutes before class starts then after a while start indicating that you're going to class. Then as you are walking, ask her where her class is (if you don't already know) then take her. =]

And of course, get a hug at then end.

 

[zeppo]

1. we have 5 minutes for passing period
2. our classes go opposite directions
3. if you get 3 lates for one class you get an hour of detention
4. I'm not gonna go for a hug quite yet...

 

[RiotShooter]

wow that article was interesting.

 

[Nero]

Well that's good Zeppo!
Just as dark aura said: Try spend some more time with her during the day

talk to her when she's around her friends, and when your friends are nearby... I think it might be a good idea

Just remember to do something physical... like when you told your legs touched, and measuring your feet... things like that... making eachother more comfortable to the other's touch... that's a REAL plus!

half past one, and i am going up at six again

4,5 hours sleep each day for like... 2,5 months now

That's me every day. I sleep at 2:00 and I get up to go to school at 7:00
I'll probably die soon.

~Nero

 

[zeppo]

I sleep at about 12:30 and wake up at a bit before 6:00. I wake up an hour early if I have a homework assignment I haven't done.

 

[Veho]

I refer to one of my favorite online writers.
http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/mating3.html

I believe the person meant well in that, a girl doesn't want a person that needs her, rather, a girl wants a guy who complements her. Not complement as in give her praise and all that (although the occasional complement is good) but complements as in meshes well with her and can be a PART of her life instead of her BEING your life.

You're confusing "compliment" with "complement".

Anyway, I read the article, and all I can say is :

It's a load of generalized crap that you can't apply to your current situation (or to any situation, ever). Just disregard it. Don't try following the advice. And especially don't try to follow any of the "examples", they're horrible.

What the article tells you, basically, is: Play hard to get. But not too hard to get, or else you ain't gonna get got. But not too easy to get or you may appear desperate. So play semi-hard to get, only don't. Don't show that you're interested, but don't make her think you're not interested at all. But don't admit that you're interested. However, you should hint that you're interested, but without actually admitting you're interested, while avoiding ever saying you're not interested... And you can't admit you have time for her, but you have to have time for her... maybe. Only not right now. And you should give compliments, only not really, because "compliments" equal "emotional support". And that's bad. So very few compliments. "At the right time".

Riiiight.

What the article boils down to is "don't overdo it (one way or the other)". Well, duh. We all know you shouldn't go to extremes in any direction, but finding the best middle ground is still left to you and you alone. What's the golden ratio? Where's the middle ground? When does it stop being endearing and start being creepy? When does it stop being "cool" and start being irritating? When is it not "support" any more, and start being "doormat"? And the answer given by the article is: NO YOU MAY NOT KNOW THAT, YOU PATHETIC LOSER. You may only get vague cryptic "advice". Because no-one can tell you these things but your own experience... and that's not really helpful, is it?

Meh.

Be nice, but not too nice. Be helpful, but not too helpful. Give compliments, but not too many. Be interested, but not obsessed. Be there, but not all the time; be there at the right time. And to judge the right time, place, words, amounts, you have to have an enormous amount of tact. So everything boils down to: have tact. Have that gut feeling that tells you where the line is, and obey your gut. (Don't eat beans, they mess with your gut.) And the problem with that is that you can't just start having tact, you can't just turn it on, no-one can give you tact, and there's no simple, easy way to get some of that "tact", it's all down to experience, and that's something no mere article, no set of short and simple rules, no assembly of "tips and tricks" can give you, no matter how "plausible" it appears.

 

[Zarcon]

What the article boils down to is "don't overdo it (one way or the other)". Well, duh. We all know you shouldn't go to extremes in any direction

And yet, you ALWAYS hear stories of people complaining about how nice guys never win.
When you realize, yes, it's obvious, when you don't, not so much.

There's another article written by a women that says essentially the same thing...except bashes on "nice guys" a bit more, haha.

I agree that it all comes down to experience and ultimately just reading an article isn't going to make you Rico Suave, but it certainly helps if you're a "nice guy" and just don't understand what the problem is.

And yes, I was confusing the words, thank you.

 

[Veho]

I agree that it all comes down to experience and ultimately just reading an article isn't going to make you Rico Suave, but it certainly helps if you're a "nice guy" and just don't understand what the problem is.

True, the article helps define the problem, but it then goes on to illustrate it with examples, and that's where the trap lies: people tend to focus on the examples, instead of the principle they are there to illustrate. People will wait for the kind of situation described in the examples to spring their newfound tactics on their target, but in the meantime will go on behaving in their usual way (that we all agree was wrong, or else thy wouldn't need advice). Instead of actually understanding the principle, and applying it everywhere, not just in the described situations.

 

[zeppo]

Sorry about bumping this, but I have a question: one of my friends who is a girl (but I don't have a crush on) got me to tell her who I liked. She said she'll ask the girl I like who she likes, and if she says she likes me then... well I don't know what'll happen after that.

Do you think this was a bad idea?

 

[Zarcon]

In some ways...potentially.

If the girl you like says she likes you then that saves you a step and will boost your confidence.
If the girl says she doesn't like anyone/refuses to say then you're back where you're started.
If the girl says someone else, you might take a hit in confidence, but if you like her you shouldn't give up. Unless she says to your face that she doesn't want to advance the relationship you shouldn't assume anything.

You can always tell your friend not to tell you what she heard.

 

[yuyuyup]

girls don't like me

 

[Doomsday Forte]

There's another article written by a women that says essentially the same thing...except bashes on "nice guys" a bit more, haha.

I would like to see this article.

Also: http://www.ubersite.com/m/68799 and http://www.ubersite.com/m/64303 because they could be related to the topic at hand, I suppose.

On topic, I've been single for most of my 22 years on Earth. My friends always tell me that I'm a good guy and it confuses them as to why I haven't landed a girlfriend. I think it's just bad luck on my part, and especially inexperience. Most of my peers were dating in middle school (grade 6-8 or so), and I had my first girlfriend at 18, which subsequently fell apart in a week. Not my fault, I swear!

It sure is disheartening, I must say...

 

[MC DUI]

Screw all that girls don't like nice guys crap, I'm a nice guy and never acted any other way around girls.

It took some time but I found the right girl and now I'm married to her.

 

[zeppo]

I think I'll just wait until my friend tells me whether or not the girl likes me, and if she likes someone else I'll just keep being friends with her. There is another girl I sort of like, who's been being really nice to me lately.

 

[kellyan95]

Girl's birthday coming up, how good a gift is a first edition book of poetry copyrighted 1953?

 

[MC DUI]

Girl's birthday coming up, how good a gift is a first edition book of poetry copyrighted 1953?

I suppose it depends on if she is into that sort of thing, my wife wouldn't be interested in something like that.

The gifts that went down the best for my wife when we were dating were jewellery and perfume, I know it's not very creative but hey women like those things.

 

[kellyan95]

Well, I let her borrow a series of books that she never returned (don't know why that's relevent...) and always discusses that kind of stuff - the silver/diamond necklace was a huge hit though....