GBATemp Recommends: Hotel Mario

It's a beautiful day outside. Birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these, kids like you...should be inside, playing the absolute best that gaming has to offer. That's why I'm here, dear friends, to recommend you one of the greatest video games you'll ever experience. If you've been keeping up, you've no doubt played such classics in the past--the greatest of both the Sonic and Zelda franchises. Today, we'll be focusing on another major gaming icon, and we'll be putting some arguments to rest. What Super Mario game is truly the best? There are some easy options, of course: the classic Super Mario World, the inspirational Super Mario 64, or the merely only 8.5/10 garbage outing of Super Mario Odyssey.

But I'm certain that question didn't spring to mind the name of the actual greatest Mario game.

Nintendo may have created the character, but it was another company that really took the series to the pinnacle of gaming perfection. That credit goes to the innovative minds at Fantasy Factory. They may have only created two games in their entire history as a developer, but if you managed to craft the best video game ever, you might quit while you were ahead, too. As a result of the thankful failure of a partnership between Nintendo and Sony, humanity was able to learn of a truly perfect team: Philips and Nintendo, which lead to the beautiful, glorious, Hotel Mario.

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Welcome to the Hotel Mario, such a lovely place, such a lovely face.

This game has it ALL: a story full of drama and intrigue, with unexpected twists that you'll never guess. Where is the princess? How do you save the princess? How did the princess get over there? It also broaches deep, philosophical sayings. I mean, you know what they say, all toasters toast toast. But why do all toasters toast toast? It is one of life's many unexplained conundrums.

Much like the beloved Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon, this game also features a level of animation quality that brings tears to your eyes. Don't look too long at its gloriousness, else you may go blind from its radiance of perfection.

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There's a reason this game has lived on for years after its release, immortalized by the thousands of YTP's existing across the internet, never to be forgotten. Each and every frame of animation is flawless--a true work of art. The voice delivery is just as powerful: I'll never forget the moment that Luigi uttered the phrase, "I hope she made lotsa spaghetti"!

Hotel Mario was a game far ahead of its time, too. Mario goes around placing closed signs all over Bowser and his Koopalings' hotels, because after all, they're not essential businesses. What a hero!

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Still a better love story than Twilight.
So, when you see a remaster of Super Mario 64 or Super Mario Galaxy get released on the Nintendo Switch, vote with your wallet! Don't buy such casual games--show Nintendo that you want to see a remaster of the real greatest Mario game. And with that, I hope that we can all spend this lovely April 1st together, at home, experiencing the best video game to ever exist. Don't forget to practice safe social distancing techniques, too! Some say that the best way to play Hotel Mario is to socially distance yourself from your CDI, TV, and the controller. In fact, the further, the better!

I hope you enjoyed this edition of GBAtemp Recommends. If you'd like to see more, leave your feedback in the thread below or check out our previous articles.

 

Silent_Gunner

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Silent_Gunner: "It sure is nice of Princess Chary to invite us over for an April Fools shitpost, eh, Loudmouth Slasher?"

Loudmouth_Slasher: "I hope she ordered the pizza before the lockdowns started happening!"

Silent_Gunner: "Slasher, look!"

Silent_Gunner: "It's from Donte!

Dear shitposters who make up characters on the fly, the emos and I have taken over the GBATemp Kingdom! The princess is now my guest, at one of my mobile homes! I dare you to find her if you fucking can!

We got to find the princess!"

Loudmouth_Slasher: "And you've got to help us!"

Silent_Gunner: "If you need instructions, go find the Home Improvement SNES instruction booklet, because REAL CHADS DON'T NEED INSTRUCTIONS!"
 

rileysrjay

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Personally, I think that this game and Zelda:the wand of Gamelon are solid proof that Nintendo should ditch the switch entirely and go to exclusively making CDi games. Heck, I'd even settle for them still publishing their games on the switch, but with all of them being in the CDi style. Can you imagine how much better that 7/10 breath of the wild trash would be in the style of a CDi game? An easy 10/10, for sure!
 

morvoran

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I thought when you recommended The Simpsons Hit and Run, that was the April Fool's review. Funny thing is I'd get more enjoyment playing this game then that one.
 

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