Affirming gender through notification titles

[Quantumcat]

It can get kind of annoying when people call you the wrong thing. A lot of the GBATemp population have feminine avatars when they are male (probably some with masculine avatars that are female) and non-gender-specific names (or sometimes their name sounds like the opposite gender to what they are in their profile) so these mixups happen often. It results in people having to awkwardly use sentence structures that leave out the gender, or making a (sometimes incorrect) assumption.

So, this is a suggestion to subtly remind people what gender other users have labelled themselves in their profile, so such awkwardness can be reduced somewhat. Akin to having the social cues of voice and looks - nothing in your face but it just works at the back of their mind.

1. Change "[person's name] mentioned you in a post in [thread name]" to "[person's name] mentioned you in her or his post in [thread name]"
2. (In the case that the OP replies to their own thread) Change "[person's name] replied to the thread [thread name]" to "[person's name] replied to her or his thread [thread name]"

And when the person's gender is not specified in their profile, then leave it as it is now.

I can't think of any other sorts of notification titles where you could sneak a her or his in, but just these two circumstances would help.

 

[Kioku]

Even though it is the internet. I do agree that we should be able to properly identify (lol) what pronouns we would prefer. You're still a human being. You don't lose your gender because you join a forum. Why shouldn't we give the option?

 

[sarkwalvein]

No, they don't sound awkward.

I have no idea why there is a 4 page discussion on two pronouns of the English language, but it looks pointless to me.

I suppose people got very bored between and then after the E3, and well, they had to discuss about something. Blame the E3 for being so uneventful... or Blame Canada™, you decide.

 

[HaloEliteLegend]

Yo, I'm cool with some casual "him/her/other" thrown about in the notification updates. I think it would be cool unnoticeable but helpful context that people will kinda just internalize over time. At the very least, it makes the notifications a lot more personable!

 

[Zero72463]

What if I am not a his or a her?

 

[deinonychus71]

But wouldn't it be their freedom of speech to tell you it's offensive, or to ask to be called a dragon? freedom of speech works both ways, if you have the right to say something, they have the right to say it's offensive, and it's up to you to decide if it actually is or not, if you think it actually hurt someone you should stop, if you think they're being overly sensitive you have the right to tell them that, and they have the right to say something back. that's how freedom of speech works, just because you have the right to say something doesn't mean people have to like or agree with it, as long as it's not like a rampage or slurs or inciting an actual physical hate crime it's fine

oh and that dragon thing actually exists, it's called other-kin and real trans people that identify as the opposite gender, or as non-binary FUCKING HATE IT, since most of the people that use it don't even have dysphoria or any of the mental triggers that actually make you trans, they're just extra-furries that don't want to call themselves furries so they try to act like they're trans, and actual trans people have a hell of a time trying to tell them that just because you really like deer doesn't mean your gender is deer.

It's absolutely their right to say it, as it is my right to find it ridiculous. Honest mistakes exist and if someone can't deal with that? well tough luck.
I do respect someone's wishing to be called he or she or it or pikachu, i do not respect being blamed for assuming wrong in the first place.

As for the otherkin thing, i already know that, just didnt want to get into details. But because it looks stupid to you doesnt mean they dont get "hurt" by it. That is how ridiculous it gets. Anything can offend someone in the world.

Again, I'm not against adding genders as part of a profile, i just think people should be mature enough to give the benefit of the doubt and not get offended over mistakes.

 

[Stephano]

What if I am not a his or a her?

We are not discussing that here

 

[Zero72463]

We are not discussing that here

Well eventually someone will complain about it just like they complained about this.

 

[Stephano]

Well eventually someone will complain about it just like they complained about this.

Well..... You're not wrong.....

 

[sarkwalvein]

Well eventually someone will complain about it just like they complained about this.

But there was no complaining.
It was just a suggestion to avoid making mistakes that take more time to fix.
At least I interpreted in a "give me a tool to be more efficient, I lose time going to check user's profile because I want to use the right pronoun, this could be avoided with a tool" kind of way.

PS: Am I perhaps so pragmatic that the "drama" component of things just usually flies over my head?

 

[Mr. Elementle]

No, they don't sound awkward.

I have no idea why there is a 4 page discussion on two pronouns of the English language, but it looks pointless to me.

Not to mention that there are some people that change their gender whenever they feel like it. Maybe I've been online for too long or something, but I don't associate anything with gender (username, avatar, and even that gender on the profile). It's either: everyone is a guy, or I get confirmation from the person in question about what gender they give a shit to be called. And then there are those off cases where someone was a guy/girl and decided to change genders, in which case I remember both.

I feel you, i've been on the internet since the 90's back when you didn't know anyone's gender or name or anything and most people didn't bother telling; you just had a shitty username with too many x's, (Though we would have never had this problem anyway since a lot of them were in french so every notification would be the same; since the pronoun takes the gender of the object, it would always be «sa poste» (her post) because posts are feminine»

 

[HaloEliteLegend]

Well eventually someone will complain about it just like they complained about this.

I think a "him, her, *their, no entry/use default" option might work? Unless you want to head down a really deep rabbit hole...

*edit

 

[Deleted User]

Compare this to:
"I asked Alex to borrow their pen"
"Ask KunoichiZ, Luma Updater is their app"
"arc13 had their hard drive fail, they won't release an update sooner than in two weeks"
"I asked Crystal The Glaceon for help, they replied right away"

Do these not sound awkward to you?

Actually, that's not awkward. The second example you made is the exact opposite of what you are trying to say. The last example is really nice also, as somebody else could go to crystal and get help.

None of this is awkward. This is a internet forum, not real life

 

[Quantumcat]

Actually, that's not awkward. The second example you made is the exact opposite of what you are trying to say. The last example is really nice also, as somebody else could go to crystal and get help.

None of this is awkward. This is a internet forum, not real life

Consider what it would sound like if you said it about someone you knew in real life. It sounds like you know nothing about them, and just sounds really rude. Like if you've been friendly with any of these people, and then say that, it sounds like you are distancing yourself from them by being rude and you don't like them any more. I guess I'm alone in that view?

 

[XavyrrVaati]

Use gender neutral words. Problem solved. Also if you make a deal out of something that has no ill intent, then you're part of the problem.

 

[Deleted User]

I kinda like the idea because seeing "[user1] replied to his post on your profile" sounds more natural than "[user1] replied to [user1]'s post on your profile" or "[user2] added a new post to her blog" instead of "[user2] added a new post to his/her blog." I do think it's a good idea to just stick with using "they" n' shit though because of the already mentioned database query issue.

 

[VinsCool]

I personally think that the way it currently shows notifications is fine.

if his/her causes issues, then "their" could be a valuable option.

Other than that, if someone could add a specific site function, it would be something like this:

Member identifies as Male: He/him/his
Member identifies as Female: She/her/her
Member identity is ambiguous/hidden/other: They/them/their

I think that would make everyone happy.

 

[Deleted User]

if his/her causes issues, then "their" could be a valuable option.

The main problem I have with "his/her" is just that it looks strange and feels weird to read.

 

[VinsCool]

The main problem I have with "his/her" is just that it looks strange and feels weird to read.

I personally believe this makes it fair for everyone that way. "their" would have worked better at this point, in my opinion.

 

[Whole lotta love]

I personally think that the way it currently shows notifications is fine.

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if his/her causes issues, then "their" could be a valuable option.

Other than that, if someone could add a specific site function, it would be something like this:

Member identifies as Male: He/him/his
Member identifies as Female: She/her/her
Member identity is ambiguous/hidden/other: They/them/their

I think that would make everyone happy.

I think just having everything set to "their" would be the simplest solution.

 

[VinsCool]

I think just having everything set to "their" would be the simplest solution.

I guess that would be the easiest option, and I have no problem with it.