What I would say to that is the following.
If I tell people I am a trans woman I get a whole load of abuse and told to stop telling people.
If I don't tell people I'm trans and then they find out I then get a whole lot of abuse and told I should have told them straight away and not have kept it quiet.
I have had both the above happen to me on this site and IRL in the past.
So if I keep it to myself like you say then I get abuse and if I honest about who I am I get abuse so which one am I meant to do?
It is not necessarily a topic I would started myself but if you went first then OK.
I have not seen your PMs or profile posts so can't speak to those as far as the site is concerned (if there were any arseholes there then hopefully you brushed them off), and real life I will skip for this one. Site wise you seemed to make a big deal about the username change and out and out declaring yourself as such*, fair enough really -- if you particularly felt the need to do that and found it helpful then so be it (given your apparent age, location, cultural background and knowing something of it I imagine a lot of confusion and inclination to hide things in your past. A ritual shedding of that in some of a "no going back now" is then something I have seen be helpful in the past). After that you seem to have brought it up a fair bit and wedged it in places where it is of dubious relevance at best, occasionally also as some kind of shield or potential argument if not ender then "I R expart" type thing**. Though in the case of the latter never in a matter where it is completely irrelevant or like I have seen some do to see people some people terrified of causing offence shut down, which I would say is credit to you but that would be an insult (I think seriously low of people that try that one, and you have shown far too much cunning to hopefully ever go in for such dubious debate tactics). Can't say I have been there all your posts but it seems we cover much the same ground on the forums and I would say based on that I am slightly dubious of the "abuse if I do, abuse if I hold back" thing as far as they are concerned, though the previous caveat is still in place.
*very far (numbers and time) from the first person to do so, probably won't be the last, indeed I don't think you are at this point but I tend not to keep track of the various aspects of the coming out threads).
**it might well be that you are as far as such matters are concerned, and it might be part of my personal preference for giving people enough rope to hang themselves/hiding my abilities as a means of debate that sees me pick up on it.
Previously we found we have differing opinions on the nature of certain things (a big one being whether someone should end up in front of the beak for deliberately using the non preferred pronouns), and judging by the quotes in some of your avatars we might have further differing opinions on certain matters***, but in general it does seem like a lot of this culminates in a preaching to the choir/raging amongst allies sense of things which almost feels like spam, conversation derailment (if somewhat unintentional), or wasted text. From what I have seen most of the core community here is of the "My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like" persuasion (others that might not have seen such words before then it is a snippet of
https://joshhighland.com/2007/08/28/mentors-last-words-the-hacker-manifesto/ ) which only adds to this sense of things.
***the "trans women are women too" one from the other day probably being a start there. Right now it is common thrown out as something of a counter to the terfs and while I don't find them terribly good in their approach I don't disagree with their opposition to the "if you don't sleep with me because I am trans then you are a bigot" notion. Happy to use the given pronouns, happy to call a relationship where you shack up with a woman a lesbian relationship, but if someone does not care to shack up because you are trans then I am not even going to call that person an arsehole as it seems like a perfectly fine thing to put down to personal preference.
For me to judge a person on wasted text though...
Don't really know what to answer the final question with, and would probably look for more nuance there. I would say feel free to make a blog about an issue because of the whole trans thing, a debate thread framed around, have it in profile info if you want and by all means note it in a discussion but think hard if it is really of relevance if putting it in a thread. On the flip side if you want to be a lightning rod (not a position without merit; I imagine you would be the first to say "PM me if you think I can help here, your confidence is assured") then expect shocks. If you don't change anything at all then all is still good as far as I am concerned -- continue to share industry stories, discuss games of old and games of the day, spar in debates, and otherwise help people with their issues (technical or otherwise) on the forums and you are doing pretty much everything these forums focus on and revolve around.
It's a celebration of how far we've come - and how much more there is to do.
Look at Birmingham LGBT teaching row, Brunei, many other places, just because it's legal doesnt mean its accepted to be trans, non binary, gay, bi, ace, etc.
There's still progress to be made throughout society.
On the Birmingham thing then while I have little respect of the "muh religion" argument then having seen the syllabus I do have to wonder what problems it is addressing, and the efficacy of it all (which includes the downsides).
Brunei. Other countries, and the seeming lack of concern for them among many groups (never mind the odd love affair many people that would screech at me about homophobia have for the religions and practices of places that are demonstrably dangerous for such people to live in), is a thing that concerns, however I am not entirely sure what a parade as we see this last few years is supposed to address there.
