How do you talk to a girl?

[Deleted User]

If you wanna know then ask the pro @VinLark

He just acquired a girl the other day.

Ayyyyyy

Yeah, just talk to them. There isn't some secret gotcha language for girls.

 

[Quantumcat]

Get some hobbies and outside interests that require you to go out and be in groups.

Talk to people in the context of the activity you're doing - then it is natural, doesn't sound like you're trying to pick up anyone. You could be asking for help with something out helping them with something, or just talking about the activity.

You'll find you get along with someone well and want to see them outside the context of the activity. She will feel the same way.

Some examples of groups could be playing a sport, crafts group, study group (if you're at school or uni), volunteering, movie group, software development group. Try visiting meetup.com and see what is in your area.

The goal really is for it to be natural and easy rather than forcing it. If it isn't easy it will appear awkward.

Source: I'm a girl

 

[WeedZ]

Im going to be honest and share my experience (and I do alright, I'm not a player or pimp or anything). If I meet someone new that I'm into, typically it's in a social setting with several of my friends (party, bar, etc. Or even at work), I try to avoid singling her out for conversation. I guess you could say I ignore them until they approach me.

One, you don't come off as a creepy or "thirsty". And two, if you are yourself and just cutting up with your friends you're seen as confident. And three, if you aren't giving her direct attention and she sees you as confident and fun, she'll want to get to know you on her own.

From there its usual bs, but i try to be a bit flirty, playful teasing and whatnot. I answer any questions they have as vaguely as possible. At least try not to be too specific.

What do you do for a living?
"I'm in the medical field" instead of "I'm a nurse at such facility and a student at such college" that way you don't become too boring and there's always conversation starters. Plus I think it adds a level of mystery that they want to figure out.

From there I just try to feel out if there's a connection. If not, we can be friends and I move on, if so I ask them out.

 

[The Catboy]

An honest answer from me, I literally don't know how to communicate with people. People just find me adorable and seem to just enjoy my awkwardness.
So I guess my equal treatment of awkwardness seems to make people enjoy me.

 

[tatripp]

I think a good place to start is to see them as people and not just objects for sex. You can easily go to a bar, have a few drinks, talk to a few girls, and take one home if that's what you are looking for. If you are looking for a true partner or a nice conversation, it is much easier to talk to them. If you are scared to talk to girls in general, you might as well start now because you're not getting any better at it by not talking to them.

 

[pustal]

I'm reluctant to ask this question for several reasons

- When people ask questions like this online most of the answers range from useless (just be yourself) to both stupid and useless (all the examples that come to mind would instantly derail the thread).

- I've learned a lot more about girls from real life than posts online.

- My friends who do get laid tell me my social skills are up to the job. I believe them and just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't happen.

But with that said, I have never had a girlfriend before and you do find some useful pieces of information in threads like these.

Worry about making girl [space] friends first. If you are old enough go out with friends and try making new acquaintances (both male and female), if not look to meet people. You can always find a hobby group or something. Don't think of them as possible girlfriends right away. Get social.

 

[HaloEliteLegend]

 

[drenal]

The only experience I have talking with girls is occasional chit-chat while we're at our lockers, so I can't help ya there.

 

[VinsCool]

You talk to just like you talk to any other human being. It's really not that hard

 

[Demie]

you nintendont

 

[Beerus]

if u wanna get laid just go to a strip club wanna a genuine girl talk aboout the weather man

 

[Nyako]

-say hi

-make words come out of your mouth

its just like talking to anyone else, really
just try to be yourself.

 

[urherenow]

How do you NOT talk to a girl?

 

[Deleted User]

Lets clarify why I posted this. I've never had a girlfriend before and I want one. When I find one sex will naturally happen sooner or later but I don't walk up to a girl and talk to her with my primary objective being to fuck her.

I can talk to girls well enough to make friends but mutual romance just doesn't seem to exist in my life.

 

[Meteor7]

If you're looking for a nerdy girl, you aren't going to find her at a bar or a hip social spot

This is very much the case, unfortunately. :\
As far as how to talk to girls, like everyone else has said, just treat them like the people that they are. They aren't some odd alien species operating on different laws or logic than you, they're just people. If you think "what should I say to this girl?" just think "what would I like said to me?" and you'll probably be on the right track.

 

[smile72]

I'm always opinionated and people don't seem to mind so I'm always able to talk to people. But I don't know why talking with girls is so hard for some straight guys. Isn't it the same as talking with guys?

 

[Quantumcat]

Lets clarify why I posted this. I've never had a girlfriend before and I want one. When I find one sex will naturally happen sooner or later but I don't walk up to a girl and talk to her with my primary objective being to fuck her.

I can talk to girls well enough to make friends but mutual romance just doesn't seem to exist in my life.

If you can be friends with them then you're 90% of the way there. When you become friends with someone where a romantic thing is a possibility, it will happen naturally. You don't have to try and learn how to make it happen. Just wait until you meet the right girl and you feel that spark. If you haven't felt love before you might mistake attraction for it. But you'll know it when you feel it. You can worry about how to communicate what you feel to the girl to see if it is mutual when that happens! And in any case, guys that see every human in a skirt as a possible girlfriend and indiscriminately pursue all of them aren't very attractive. Better if they are interested in you because you're you and you're special to them.

Tl;Dr don't worry about it, it will occur naturally without you having to learn how to make it happen.

 

[FAST6191]

What do you do for a living?
"I'm in the medical field" instead of "I'm a nurse at such facility and a student at such college" that way you don't become too boring and there's always conversation starters. Plus I think it adds a level of mystery that they want to figure out.

Personally I find if someone asks me what I do for a living, especially as a conversation opener, that it is a dead giveaway I am speaking to an American. Also being coy/non specific can also often be taken to be you playing up your role, or hiding an unpleasant one (hi I am an undertaker/mortician sort of thing).

Lets clarify why I posted this. I've never had a girlfriend before and I want one. When I find one sex will naturally happen sooner or later but I don't walk up to a girl and talk to her with my primary objective being to fuck her.

I can talk to girls well enough to make friends but mutual romance just doesn't seem to exist in my life.

You may have to learn to read the signs. While it is nice when a young (or older, experience counts for a lot and all) lady comes up and says "I love/like you, do you wish to hang out/make out/be my boyfriend?" I get the impression that many would rather die than operate like that, or at least would consider doing such a thing something of a social faux pas (in the English speaking world anyway). To that end the stereotypes have a basis in reality where blokes will talk overtly (possibly via grunting and headbutts) and the ladies will go for far more subtle things (looks, certain types of eye contact, giggling, waving, touching and the list goes on, though it may not mean what you think it means) even if they or their mates think it is really obvious. In my experience the only ones any good at this while young are those with older or similar aged sisters that they are around. Everybody else gets to fumble (or indeed end up light on the fumbling thing for a while). If you can hang out with someone in that position such that they can point this out to you.

Word of warning. If you do the child of the internet era thing of consult the internet you may find yourself looking at "pick up artist" material. While it has a basis in reality I would strongly advise staying away from those wankers.

 

[Cyan]

I would ask : why do you want to talk to a stranger? girl or guy, just ask yourself if you would do it with stranger guy or not, and for which reasons?
ask yourself if the reason is only for "romance" or just to talk naturally about common subjects with someone else without further motive in mind.

I think having a motive which you define by yourself as risky is the reason you are stressing out and talking to someone else just fails. you are afraid to be rejected, you hope for something which can't happen with strangers.

Like quantumcat said, just don't see others as something you should win, or like a mission or a test.
being in a group with similar interest is enough to talk to someone else. don't do it to "talk to girl". do it for not being alone and sharing with others. let the others (girls!) come to you.


May I ask how old you are?
Don't worry about meeting someone, getting laid, or staying alone all your life. Don't compare to others, everyone his own life.
just go with the flow.

 

[WeedZ]

Personally I find if someone asks me what I do for a living, especially as a conversation opener, that it is a dead giveaway I am speaking to an American. Also being coy/non specific can also often be taken to be you playing up your role, or hiding an unpleasant one (hi I am an undertaker/mortician sort of thing).

Yeah, Americans, as friendly as they are, aren't immediately personable. I know alot of European countries see this as being fake or having untrustworthy intentions, but we just value privacy and try not to overstep boundries. Asking someone what they do for living is just a "not too invasive" conversation starter.

It's OK though, you get to take time to get to know people, and when someone opens up its kind of a bonding experience. Either way, I was just using that as an example of not being too specific. You want people to get to know you, but more importantly you want them to want to get to know you.